Blind Faith
by AngelMoon Girl
Summary: An AU re-telling of the Rainbow Crystals arc, in which Usagi is blinded during a disastrous battle against the Dark Kingdom and it's none other than her worst enemy Chiba Mamoru who has been tasked to help her learn to live without her eyes. Meanwhile, Tuxedo Mask grows concerned over the unexplained disappearance of Sailor Moon... UxM, slow burn.
1. The Monster

Disclaimer: Getting gray holding out for that call from Naoko!

Summary: Usagi loses her eye sight during a particularly vicious battle against the Dark Kingdom, and to add insult to injury, she has now been placed under the tutelage of her least favorite person in the entire world. First season AU, set during the Zoisite/Rainbow Crystals arc. UxM. Slow burn... the very best kind!

Author's Note: This one hit me like a ton of bricks. The ideas just kept coming and coming... it was all I could do to keep up! Thank god I had a pencil handy! As you can tell by the summary, this is an AU, but in many respects I am trying to keep the story as close to canon as possible. Imagine the opening chapter takes place in-between episodes 27 (Ami/Urawa) and 28 (Yumemi the artist). But there will be some major exceptions... First of all, Rei never dated Mamoru. It just doesn't jibe with what I have planned. Second, Mamoru's work at the hospital is much more advanced than in the actual timeline, given what I need him to do later. Third, Usagi's moon wand operates a little differently. In my story, it also goes off when enemy activity is nearby, not just for Rainbow Crystals, and something else I can't tell you because *SpOiLeRs*! Lastly, I'm going to be mixing up the order (and sometimes manner) in which the Rainbow Crystals were stolen. That's really about it, but if I'm forgetting anything, or something relevant pops up, I'll mention it. I promise you won't get lost ;) Now... on with the story!

* * *

 **Blind Faith  
** _By: AngelMoon Girl_

* * *

"Oof!"

Stars exploded in front of her vision, but this was hardly a new occurrence, and she was able to shake herself from stupor with just as much speed as she had only seconds earlier been urging her legs into.

"Oi, Odango - you have eyes for a reason, you know? Do you _ever_ watch where you're going, or do you just _enjoy_ barreling headlong into things?"

Usagi blinked, gazing up at the figure that came looming into her sights. Even if she didn't recognize the crossed arms and miserly scowl, Usagi would have known that pretentious drawl anywhere. It was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now, at five minutes to eight.

"Leave me alone, Mamoru-baka! Can't you see I'm running late!?" The irate blonde exclaimed, jumping up from the sidewalk where she'd fallen most spectacularly onto her backside.

"I think every time I see you, you're running late," Mamoru pointed out, and none too kindly either. Usagi huffed loudly.

"Ugh. Do you just get off on being an ass to people? Is that your sole reason for existence? You know, I wish I never had to see you again!" she spat, then shoved past the stupid prat with his stupid lavender-gray pants and even stupider pea-green jacket. Someone _really_ needed to chaperone the man when he went shopping, she thought, as she took off in the direction of the junior high school without a single glance back. What a jerk!

As Usagi placed some distance between them, she immediately began to cool down. It was crazy how one person could evoke such an intense reaction from her. She didn't think she'd ever disliked someone this much, except maybe Rei, but at least the fiery shrine priestess was slowly coming around. With Mamoru, there appeared to be no hope. Usagi sighed, skidding into Juuban Municipal with just a minute to spare (a new personal record, given how late she had left the house). Oh well. As long as they were able to keep out of each other's way, they'd be just fine. But that was the problem. Even without meaning to, she _always_ seemed to run into the Raven-Headed Jerk. It was as if fate were playing a cruel joke at her expense.

Usagi tripped as she fairly fell into the classroom.

"I'm here, Haruna-sensei!"

The class erupted into stifled titters as Usagi stood there, breathing heavily and awaiting judgement. She watched as Haruna laid down her attendance book, glancing up at the clock.

"Well... in at the skin of your teeth, Tsukino-san, but I suppose you may sit down. _Please_ do try to get here even just a few minutes earlier, _if_ it's not too much of an imposition on your sleep schedule," the auburn-headed teacher declared, with heavy acerbity. The class giggled even harder, but Usagi ignored them as she sat down next to Naru. She snuck a quick smile over to the girl, glad to see Naru was finally beginning to look more like herself. The death of Nephrite had hit her old childhood friend hard, but thanks to that visit to the graveyard and Umino's tireless efforts, she was getting out and doing things again. Usagi was very happy, but only wished she could be more present for some of those outings. The Dark Kingdom had been very active lately, which meant Sailor Moon had never been more needed. It was exhausting, and a big part of the reason why she could never seem to wake up on time anymore. Usagi longed for the day they would find the Princess, and she would not need to fight anymore. Surely someone so all-powerful would be able to fend for themselves?

"Umino bring you lunch again today, Naru-chan?" Usagi whispered, suggestively waggling her brows. Naru turned bright as a beet as she hissed back,

"I don't know a thing about that, Usagi-chan, not a thing, and I don't appreciate your insinuations either!"

Usagi snickered, knowing perfectly well what was unfolding between those two, even if Naru refused to see it. They were adorable together, and one of these days Matchmaker Usagi was going to work a little bit of her magic.

"You know, there's this really neat, kinda romantic garden oasis I found-"

"TSUKINO-SAN! Don't make me regret my earlier leniency. _Turn around_ and _pay attention_!"

"Yes, m'am."

oOo

The day flew by in uneventful fashion; a welcome relief to Usagi who just two days ago had needed to skive off her last lesson for an energy-sucking youma at the mall. She had thought those days were over, now that the enemy seemed to be focusing on these Rainbow Crystals - remnants of the legendary lost Silver Crystal, Luna had said, that were used to seal away the Seven Shadows - but apparently their foes were growing antsy at the lack of progress. They seemed to need human energy to sustain them, so on top of Zoisite's attacks, there were also these 'rogue youma' to contend with. It was frustrating, never knowing what to expect. But at least her new moon wand alerted them when danger was near, and even where that failed, they still had all the powers of Ami's super computer at their disposal. It was a good system... it just never allowed for much downtime.

"Ahhhh," Usagi whined, walking beside Makoto with her arms in the air, holding her bookbag atop her odango like a milkmaid would her bucket. "I can't believe how much homework Haruna-sensei gave us tonight. I have no idea how I'll be able to finish it all!"

She turned and pouted, looking behind Makoto to a poster of Sailor V, throwing her trademark sign over one eye with impish aplomb.

"I bet Sailor V never has to worry about homework!"

Makoto smirked, gazing up at this girl with her mysterious white mask and vibrant red bow, the image nudging loose some strange feeling of deja vu before it was gone. "Who says superheroes don't have homework? We certainly do!"

Usagi frowned, unable to argue with that. So, she changed tactics. "I hope Ami-chan gets out of cram soon. Maybe with her help I can at least get like, half of it done."

"You mean, so _she_ can get half of it done, while you pretend to be catching on, when instead you're just reading Rei-chan's manga under the table?" Makoto countered, a big doofy grin stretched across her face as she tried and failed not to sound encouraging of such behavior. Usagi laughed and shrugged sheepishly as they both rounded the corner.

"Well maybe if math was made into manga, I would understand it better!"

"Very true."

Usagi stopped in her tracks as they were walking by Crown. She squealed and grabbed Makoto's arm, shaking it. "Look! Motoki-onii-san's working today! He must be back from his vacation!"

"Rei-chan's waiting for us," Makoto reminded the blonde, the reluctance in her voice made even more prominent when she coupled it with a lovesick gaze in at the sandy blonde who 'just looked so much like my old senpai'.

"Rei-chan can go stuff it!" Usagi said cheerfully, as she dragged Makoto without a fight into the gaming center. The two junior high schoolers pounced on the older boy with ravenous excitement.

"HI MOTOKI-ONII-SAAAAN!"

"HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?"

"How do you know he went on a trip-"

"I have my sources-"

"He never said he was going on a trip, he said he was doing university stuff!"

"He definitely went on a trip!"

"Ahhh, hi," Motoki interrupted, uncomfortably scratching at the side of his face. "I've missed you guys too. But what on earth is this all about?"

Usagi got right up in the arcade manager's space, somehow managing to be hurt, happy, demanding, angry, and adorable all at once. "Mako-chan says you went on a trip and you didn't tell me!?" she cried, not even attempting to keep herself within the confines of the decibel scale.

"Well, yes and no. I just went to Hakone. It was sort of spur of the moment," Motoki answered, chuckling at how flustered his normally vivacious friend was. Teenagers were funny creatures, he thought, thinking of how similar Usagi was to Unazuki. Maybe someday he should introduce them. "Reika wanted to try the Odakyu-"

"Odakyu as in the _Odakyu Romance Car_!?" Usagi shrieked, even as Makoto leapt in (quite literally - Usagi almost landed on her butt for the second time that day) with,

"WHO'S REIKA?"

"Um, what's that noise?"

"And why isn't he using honorifics..." Usagi mumbled to Makoto.

"Usagi-chan, is your bag beeping?"

"Don't change the subject!" Usagi snapped, sending her index finger inches away from Motoki's nose.

"Ah, Usagi-chan, I hate to say it but I think we have to go-"

"WE MUST SOLVE THIS MYSTERY!"

"We gotta go," Makoto growled, yanking Usagi bag and all from a completely befuddled Motoki, who just waved awkwardly at their departing figures.

"What- no, we don't! We have to find out who Reika is and why Motoki-onii-san is taking her on a _romance_ car, unless you missed that part-"

"I think _you're_ missing something, oh fearless leader," Makoto hissed, jiggling the bag she still held in her hand from the forcible eviction of her friend out of Crown and certain heartbreak. "We'll get to the bottom of this Reika thing, mark my words, but first - we have a city to save."

"Oh yeah," Usagi murmured, staring at her bookbag with something akin to disappointment married with shame. She could hear the telltale beeping now, signalling the Dark Kingdom was on the move. She hated that she could never have one day of peace anymore. Just one. But at the same time, she knew she couldn't let down the world either. Not when she was the only one with the power to bring back these innocent people from the monsters who had overtaken them. The fourteen-year-old sighed. "Let's go get that rainbow-loving creep."

oOo

It wasn't Zoisite and his black honing crystal when they arrived on the scene, dressed for war right in the middle of bustling downtown. It was another one of those rogue youma, but this one was unlike any they had ever encountered before. The thing towered at least forty feet into the sky, monstrous and horrifying to all who beheld it. The creature was a dusky violet, vaguely ram-like in its construction because it bore a set of antlers, but its skin was spongy and full of pores, and it seemed to be sporadically shooting ooze from these holes in its body. The ooze crackled and sizzled once it hit a target, slowly eating away at the item like acid until only charred remains were left. Sailor Moon felt her stomach lurch as she saw, it wasn't just inanimate objects that had been affected. Civilians were all around, running for their lives, some clutching half-rotted limbs as they screamed for salvation. It was awful.

"You! How dare you bring harm to the citizens of Tokyo," Sailor Moon shouted, her voice cracking on the words, unable to muster the same sort of facetiousness she normally would, given the gravity of this situation. "I will punish you severely for this... in the name of the moon!"

"And I in the name of Jupiter!" the thunder warrior cried, already beginning to prepare her attack.

"OCHI-ME!" the youma screeched, in a harsh and discordant voice. It jerked and the antlers moved along with it; growing and darting and grasping into the fleeing crowd below. The two Senshi gasped, one of them swearing quite vociferously, as they watched the antlers become tentacles that wrapped around numerous people at once, sapping them of energy. And even as this was happening, ooze exploded out of the monster called Ochi-Me and the girls were forced to dive out of the way. It was chaos, pure and simple.

"Shabon Spray!"

"Fire Soul!"

The street filled with dense white fog as streaking missiles of fire rained upon Ochi-Me's disfigured countenance. The creature howled in pain, flailing, sending more people to the ground.

"Good timing!" Jupiter said by way of greeting, curt nods of agreement from both Mercury and Mars. Luna was at their feet, looking out at the devastation before her with shock and sorrow.

"So much collateral..." she murmured, before shaking herself. The mission before all else. "We have to aim for its eyes! Mercury's computer says that's its only weakness. Hitting it anywhere else will only aggravate the beast further."

"Yeah, and try not to get hit by any of _that_ ," Sailor Moon added, watching as Ochi-Me geared up for another dousing. It couldn't see where they were, so apparently its plan of action was just to send acidic goop in every direction. Not exactly a bad plan, if you were a forty-foot youma with double the trajectory. "Look out!"

The Senshi ran for cover behind cars and poles, narrowly missing the dangerous streams by only seconds.

"This is hopeless," Sailor Moon sobbed, crouched behind a melting Suzuki. "These youma just keep getting stronger! When will it ever end?"

"When we destroy them," Luna spoke up sternly from under her charge's arm, having joined the Senshi leader when they sensed Ochi-Me's impending attack. "And we will, Usagi-chan. Be brave. We have to aim all our powers at the eyes!"

"Where's Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" Moon whined, apparently not finding courage in a single word Luna was saying. "We need his help!"

The cat released a quite aggrieved noise of frustration. "How many times do I have to tell you, we can't rely on that man? We don't even know if he's friend or foe- and _don't_ try to argue with me about that right now, Usagi-chan, this is NOT the time!"

Sailor Moon huffed, noticing Mars and Jupiter were now trying to creep from out of hiding, and she bemoaned the fact that now she would have to do the same. They all met on hands and knees behind an empty, overturned bus.

"We separate, then fire from different angles," Jupiter said, cracking her knuckles as if just itching to beat this youma with her hands alone. "All at once and we aim for the sweet spot."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Mercury said, looking to Sailor Moon. "We basically just need to slow this thing down long enough for you to have the opportunity to use the wand without getting... you know..."

"Slimed," Sailor Moon replied, the ghost of a smile flashing across her frightened features.

"On three, then? Three... two... one... GO!"

The Senshi scattered like leaves to the wind, sailing over the streets and bounding onto different buildings in an effort to confuse the youma. It appeared to be working; Ochi-Me didn't know where to look and so it just started spraying at random. Sailor Moon managed to stay out of sight, waiting for the perfect moment. She gripped her crescent mood wand tightly. The monster raised its voice again in an enraged cacophony.

"OOOOCHIIII-MEEEEE!"

"Over here, you deranged dishrag! SUPREME THUNDER!"

"FIRE SOUL!"

"SHABON SPRAY!"

"Now, Sailor Moon!" Sailor Mars called, high up on an office balcony, motioning at the blonde while Ochi-Me's attention was diverted.

"Right," Moon murmured to herself, steeling her resolve, then bolting out into the center of the melee. She raised her wand with a confidence she still didn't quite feel, no matter how many times she said the words and watched her opponent dissolve into dust. In the end, she just wasn't cut out to be a fighter. Not like Mars and Jupiter. And she wasn't calculated like Mercury either. Which is perhaps why she faltered just at this most inopportune moment, when everything rested on her shoulders and she felt the weight so acutely, the seed of doubt taking root in her mind.

What good was she as a soldier, if not for this sparkly stick in her sweaty palm? What good was she compared to her fellow warriors, whose strength coursed through their minds and their veins when all _she_ wanted to do was crawl home and cry?

That brief moment of hesitation was all that was needed to bring about her undoing.

Ochi-Me caught the glint of light as it reflected off the crescent wand, spinning to accost its newest adversary. Quicker than Sailor Moon could even blink, the creature struck, dispersing a deadly blast of its acidic innards right at her defenseless person. The breath caught in her throat and she froze like a deer in the headlights... the wand useless in her slack grip... _so this is how it ends_...

She felt a powerful impact and then her body was wrenched backward, undulating in the air, until she landed with a painful thud onto unyielding pavement.

 _But I'm alive...?_

Sailor Moon groaned, aching in places she never knew existed. There was definitely road-burn on a good three quarters of her extremities, but it was a dull throb that paled in comparison to the sensation of her nerves going haywire; the sensation of a body - bigger and more masculine - pressed against hers. She couldn't breathe again, but this time it was for a whole other reason entirely.

 _He came!_

The superheroine could hardly speak around the heart hammering in her throat, but she pushed through with sheer force of will. "Thank you," she stuttered, as he carefully rolled off. "Tuxedo Kamen-sama."

"Are you alright?" the masked crusader asked, in a low voice. Sailor Moon sat up, noticing that her rescuer had swept them away from the worst of the danger. And then she noticed his smoking shoulder; the way he had set his jaw into a gruesome clench. She gasped.

"I should be asking you the same question! It got you!"

"Just a flesh wound," Tuxedo Kamen grunted, waving her off.

"It doesn't look like just a flesh wound...!"

"I said I'm fine," he replied, quickly and tersely. She worried her lips but did not have a chance to press the issue; Ochi-Me realized it had been foiled and like most youma, it did not take to that fact with any measure of grace. The giant beast roared, an abject fury overtaking all of its inhuman features until it was fairly spitting ooze in every direction. The pair on the ground watched in horror as the acid hit a number of power lines, causing the wiring to go berserk. And then, the way the poles began to teeter and sway, in a motion that seemed to imply that the whole circuit was about to go down - directly onto a group of quivering civilians who had been unlucky enough to get stuck ducking behind some fallen debris. Tuxedo Kamen jumped into action.

"I'm going to help get these people to safety - can you girls handle the youma on your own?"

"Of course," Moon nodded, even as she doubted that they would ever be able to defeat this thing. But Kamen was right; the evacuation process was just as important, and at the moment, that group's lives were depending on his aid. So Sailor Moon swallowed whatever reservations she might have had and bid him silent prayers for good fortune as she watched him sprint away. Then she looked back to the raging beast with a determined expression. If Tuxedo Kamen could place his life on the line for her, then surely she could do the same for him. They just needed to get this youma away from here; somewhere where Ochi-Me would do less damage, thus eliminating much of the distractions currently keeping them from fulfilling their goal. And there was really only one way she could see that happening...

Sailor Moon would have to offer herself as bait.

"HEY! Leper Barney! Yeah, you! I'm over here! Why don't you come pick on someone closer to your own intelligence!"

" _What_ is she doing?" Sailor Moon heard Mars holler, but she ignored the ornery priestess with practiced ease as Ochi-Me swiveled to lock its sights on her, and she waved the shiny crescent wand like one would an enticing carrot on a string.

"If you want me - come on and get me!"

Ochi-Me let out an unsettling war cry before it lunged angrily at the blonde and her weapon, barreling dumbly towards her. It was at that point with the enormous forty-foot creature bearing down on her that Sailor Moon realized _maaaybe_ she hadn't thought this through quite as thoroughly as she should have. The girl "Eep!"ed before turning tail and running as fast as she could in the other direction - anything to draw it away from the heart of the city. Somewhere, she heard what sounded like Jupiter swear for the umpteenth time this afternoon.

 _Sorry, girls. But we have to do **something**!_

And then Sailor Moon almost giggled, despite the outrageous inappropriateness, given the situation. But as she bolted and dodged and mostly just did her best to fumble her way out of this mess she'd brought down on herself, she realized -

 _This_. This was her strength.

She may not have brains or cunning or brawn or really _any_ sort of physical prowess in her favor (just walking without tripping was normally an ordeal for her)... but she was a damn good distraction when the going got tough. She was the monkey wrench in the system. The wild card. And so Sailor Moon utilized her skills to their fullest potential, noticing with a thrill of victory that her plan was succeeding. Ochi-Me followed her closely as she lured it out of downtown. She hoped to lead it somewhere where less innocent bystanders might be drawn into the fray; somewhere that was open, yet still offered protection should they need a place to shelter. Perhaps the junkyard or the nature park. But just as Sailor Moon was making the decision as to which, she felt something slimy brush against her leg. She jerked to the left and glanced back, only to have to sidestep to the right yet again when another tentacle reached out, swiped, and missed.

Shit.

She forgot it had that capability.

The fourteen-year-old felt sweat gathering on her brow. This was proving to be a lot trickier than she initially intended. She pushed her legs even harder, but it was a losing battle. Ochi-Me was simply too powerful. The youma's tentacles struck out again, and this time, they hit home. The superheroine yelped as she felt herself ripped into the air, struggling fiercely against the binds that surrounded her; squeezing the life out of her. Stars exploded in front of her vision for the second time that day.

"Help..." Moon gasped, quite helplessly indeed. She knew Tuxedo Kamen had his own troubles right now, and the girls, well, she sort of left them in the dust too, didn't she? She was alone, suffocating and suffering and draining of energy fast. Her only hope was that Mercury might be able to track her with the super computer, and even that seemed like asking for a miracle.

Kicking and squirming became a tasking chore as she felt herself growing sluggish. Soon she was no more useful than a rag doll. Her vision blurred. It was so, _so_ hard to keep her head up.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama..." she murmured, with the last desperate dregs of her strength. _Please. Help me_.

"LET HER GO!"

Sailor Moon perked up, with what little cogencies she had left. Her heart gave another trill before she recognized the voice as female. But she could hardly feel let down -

The calvary was here!

"SUPREME THUNDER!"

"FIRE SOUL!"

The elements combined and twisted into one lethal attack that sent Ochi-Me screaming. Sailor Moon felt the tentacles loosen and then drop her entirely, and she fell like a limp marionette with strings cut straight to earth, landing in a painful heap. She could not even muster a single ounce of strength to move, her energy depleted, sucked bone dry by the beast still writhing and screeching above her. _It must have been a direct hit_ , the girl thought, dimly. The ground began to rumble and shake beneath her face as Ochi-Me stumbled around, fighting the effects of the Senshi's assault. That was when it happened -

The Dark Kingdom monster suddenly stopped its lumbering around, a look of immense raw fury building on its manic countenance. It started to quiver, quiver like an arrow on its taut bowstring, just upon the precipice of release. Mars started yelling "Get her, _get her_!" with pure panic in her voice, but it was too late. Acid ooze began to rain in every direction, and even as Sailor Moon felt hands grabbing at her, yanking her away from peril, she felt the sudden explosion of agony that meant she hadn't been able to escape that easily.

She started to scream, scream as loudly as Ochi-Me had been, only moments earlier. She tore and clawed at her eyes, but it was futile, nothing staved off the sensation of fire ants eating their way through her very skin. She could just barely detect that there were other voices rising in a crescendo around hers, but she couldn't tell what they were saying, couldn't fathom anything except pain, so much _pain_.

Until there was nothing at all.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

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Author's Note: *wipes brow* Whew. That was brutal in more ways than one. It's like 100 degrees here, which in my cold little state is pretty much unheard of. And we're gonna be lingering around that temperature for a solid week or two... did I also mention we have no A/C!? *dies a little bit* I hope you guys enjoy this story, and that it brings some needed excitement to your weekend. I swear I haven't forgotten about my other WIPs, especially "Anomaly" which is next on my to-do list, but this one just wouldn't leave me alone. Stay tuned!


	2. The Doctor

Coming back to consciousness was a lot like trying to drag herself up out of quicksand with just her fingernails as leverage. It was a slow and arduous process, full of false starts and flutters back down into what could only be described as a comforting nothingness. Sometimes she thought she heard voices, and she would attempt to rouse, only to feel as if there were a heavy weight upon her lids. She still felt so weak, so drained, that often surrender was easier than trying to keep up the fight. She didn't know how long she stayed inside the darkness, drifting in and out of fever dreams, but at some point she did come back to her senses, and with that return to awareness was Tsukino Usagi's first words in nearly a week.

"...'m hungry," she mumbled, with lips that felt like ancient parchment. There was a sudden flurry of movement over her head, an excited shout, and dimly Usagi registered other noises surrounding her... a steady, constant beeping... the tick and whir of umpteen machines... and if she really pricked her ears, more activity in the areas beyond. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize where she was, particularly as the memories of Ochi-Me came flooding back in horrible detail. She cringed, both in recollection of how that battle ended and because she really was very uncomfortable right now. Everything _ached_ , like a throb she felt from the top of her head right down to her toes.

"Usagi!"

The blonde groaned, still focused on cataloguing every new pain as she slowly came more and more into full wakefulness. That strangely heavy feeling about her eyes hadn't dissipated, she realized, and so clumsily she reached up only to find a rough fabric had been bound there.

"No no... don't touch the bandages, Usagi. At least not until the doctor gives the all clear," a voice interrupted the fourteen-year-old's explorations, and she felt a gentle, warm hand catch hers and bring it back down.

"Mama," Usagi breathed, raggedly.

The hand squeezed hers, then another came to frame the side of her face, careful of the wrappings there.

"Hi baby," the familiar voice said, in a tone choked with thickly suppressed emotion. She felt Ikuko stroke the wisps of hair at her ear with the pad of her thumb, and relished in the fact that at least she wasn't alone in this scary place. There were few places she truly hated more than the hospital. It reeked of sterile death. As if Ikuko sensed this, she added, "I'm here. It's okay. Don't worry, we'll have the doctor in here as soon as we can. Your nurse ran off to retrieve him."

"What happened?" Usagi whispered, even though she knew perfectly well the answer lay in a botched distraction attempt and lots of Dark Kingdom... whatever that hell that goo was.

There was a long beat, and Usagi could feel her mother's tension like it was another physical being in the room. She was about to open her mouth and ask what was wrong when Ikuko hesitantly began,

"You had a run in with one of those... those _monsters_ that's been wreaking havoc on the city lately, on the way home from school with your friends. They... they said it targeted you for energy, and that they managed to get you away but that this only made the creature angrier. It shot some sort of acid in your face before the Sailor Senshi arrived and destroyed it."

"They destroyed it?" Usagi latched onto that bit with enormous relief, murmuring "Thank God!" before wondering how exactly, when it had been _so_ strong; so formidable. Which brought her to her next query -

"Where are the girls?"

Another pause, though this one shorter than the last. "School, I assume. Though they've... all been by fairly regularly to check in on you; see how you were doing. Ami-san sat with you quite a lot and read from your textbooks while you slept. She didn't want you to fall behind and explained there was a chance you would still absorb the information despite being in a non-responsive state."

Usagi groaned aloud. "No wonder I was out so long!"

Ikuko gave a soft chuckle. "I told her the chance was _very_ unlucky you'd remember any of it upon waking up. She, grudgingly, agreed with me. Oh, and Naru-chan was here yesterday with Umino-san as well. They've all been very worried and will be so happy to hear you're awake at last."

Usagi smiled, her heart welling with gratitude for having such amazing friends, even if they did subject her to schoolwork while unconscious in the hospital. She unthinkingly reached up again to paw at her bandages; they cloyed and itched and were altogether very bothersome.

"Usagi, _stop_ ," Ikuko reminded, and Usagi frowned at the querulous edge to her voice. She reluctantly dropped her hands, picking instead at a loose thread on the bedsheet.

"You said the doctor will tell me when to take them off? Why not now?"

She didn't mean it to, but the question emerged more like a petulant whine than an innocent curiosity. She couldn't help it; she didn't handle restriction well. It made her a little claustrophobic, and anyways, nothing made her feel better more than seeing the ever present reassurance in her mother's kind blue eyes. She could use some of her 'It's all gonna be alright, dear' eyes right about now.

Ikuko sucked in a shaky breath. Usagi cocked her head, nonplussed by the immediate increase in tension she felt fill the room.

"Mama?" She pulled herself very carefully into a sitting position, ignoring the protest of her ribs. She reached out to where she knew her mother to be, some puerile need to either console or be consoled taking hold, and started when she encountered wet skin. "Mama! Are you crying?"

Ikuko's hand was trembling now as she brought Usagi's fingers to her lips; kissed them fiercely.

"You know we love you no matter what, right? That we'll help you no matter what? Move mountains for you, if you needed it."

Usagi's heart was beginning to drop as she nodded along; yes, yes, of course she knew all that. Had never once doubted their support much less their love, even when she did things behind their back that would surely send them into an early grave were they in the know. She could only think of one reason her mother would react this way...

"What aren't you telling me?" Usagi whispered, trying to swallow her fear and failing miserably. Her voice became shrill when she begged, "Mama... what's wrong with me?"

She was so, _so_ scared, dread curling like a beast in the pit of her stomach, but nothing could have prepared her for the true horror of the answer.

"The- the acid... it got into your eyes... They rushed you into emergency surgery, did everything they possibly could, but... it was too late. They couldn't reverse the damage to your cornea." Ikuko's next words were spoken very quietly, yet packed a punch as vicious as if she'd screamed them. Her mother was unable to hide her anguish as she continued, "The doctor says... it's unlikely you'll ever see again."

The air left Usagi's body as if it had been knocked out of her. She began to hyperventilate, hardly registering as the machines around her started going crazy, and new voices joined the fray, telling her to calm down, just breathe, but how in the hell was she supposed to do that when she had just been told she was _blind_? How would anything be okay ever again? She was lost in a world of darkness, never to see sunshine again; clouds and birds and colors and oh god, the faces of her friends and family, all gone...

The panic came hard and fast, and though she could still hear instructions being thrown at her from all directions, it was just too much on top of the loss of life as she knew it. Usagi passed out, back into the nothingness that was now to be her everything.

* * *

Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache that had been brewing for near on a week now - basically, ever since this whole mess began. It started with the battle against that deranged youma from the Dark Kingdom, and ended with him pulling so many hours of overtime he hardly remembered what the inside of his apartment looked like.

There had been so much collateral from that awful afternoon in the city. The hospital was so overrun with injured bystanders that it hardly had room for them all. It was a constant flow, with those who were not a high priority case being referred a district over. This led to more than a few angry prospective patients, which is how Mamoru came to be standing in the middle of the waiting room trying to reason with a woman with a hyperactive nosebleed.

"M'am, if it's only a trickle it's not going to kill you yet. I have people about to drop dead of severe blood loss from an arm or a leg that was _burnt off_ during the downtown debacle that require the emergency room far more desperately than you," Mamoru was saying, done with being polite to this hag with a hankie. She brandished it like a weapon, biohazard be darned, but Mamoru stood his ground.

"Now you see here, you miserable lout-"

"That will be quite enough," a voice cut through the nasty termagant of a woman's defamations, and in stepped a tall middle-aged man in starch white scrubs. He had an old, tired look about him, but the wrinkles around his eyes bore a youthful humor and it was this wry humor he leveled Mamoru's way before schooling his expression to face the firing squad. "I understand you're upset, but that is no reason to insult my interns. As Chiba-san has explained to you numerous times, we have our hands full with victims of the attack downtown. We're booked. Now I apologize most sincerely for the inconvenience, but Roppongi is only fifteen minutes away and I happen to know the Midtown Clinic would be more than happy to correct your issue, in half the time and for half the price as well. I do know a person or two, and can make a call on your behalf as long as you please cease distressing my other patients."

That shut the woman up real quick, and after a curt thank you she passed along her information to the receptionist and was on her way. Mamoru followed the older doctor out into the hall, shaking his head all the while.

"It's madness, I tell you. Everyone out there thinks their problems are worse than everybody else's, and meanwhile we have people upstairs who are actually dying from melted limbs and stolen energy, so weak they can barely raise their heads. And don't get me started on their _manners_..."

"Well if she was any indication, I think I have a good picture," the doctor said, chuckling deprecatingly. "Come... you're useless to me out there. I think I have something much more up your alley. A long term project, so to speak..."

Mamoru's interest was piqued, and he jogged a little to keep up with the other man's brisk pace. "What is it, Chiryoshi-sensei?"

Doctor Chiryoshi smiled at Mamoru, leading him through the maze of hospital towards their still unknown destination. "Something that is going to require every bit of your unerring patience. You told me you wanted to gain more training in rehabilitation; well, I think this patient is going to be the perfect candidate for you, and with your focus in trauma recovery, I foresee this being the best fit for both parties. I have a girl - tough case - who was involved in the 'downtown debacle', as we're apparently calling it now? She took a beating like the rest of them, came in completely battered, and we were able to fix her up nicely in that respect but... in the course of the attack, the acid was shot into her eyes and she was blinded. I need someone willing to dedicate their time to getting her back on her feet; lead her through the convalescence process. Basically... to teach her the rudimentary skills she once knew but now must learn all over again. Because as it is, she's... not taking the transition well."

"Whatever you need," Mamoru swore, his heart twisting painfully as he tried to imagine what that poor girl must be going through. He saw that he was being taken into the intensive care wing, and wondered what this job would have in store for him. As if on the same line of thought, Doctor Chiryoshi added,

"I know this going to be a rather difficult venture for you; something we've never asked of you before. Which is why if you succeed, I'm willing to offer you a permanent position on my team. You're only eighteen, but your diverse range of skills, strong work ethic and innate knack for picking up on what others often miss vast outshines all others in your year. You're something special, Chiba-san. Born to be a healer. I would be honored to take you on as my personal assistant, and guide you through the residency program until you yourself are ready to don the white jacket."

Mamoru gaped until he realized how rude that was, and rushed to compose himself.

"I... That would truly be the greatest honor, Chiryoshi-sensei. I will try to be worthy of your faith in me," he said, his heart thrumming like a child's at Christmas, still struggling to pull himself together. Chiryoshi was a mentor to him in a way few others had been, and he knew it would be the chance of a lifetime. He was finally beginning to see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel that was getting his medical license.

"Don't try. Do," Chiryoshi responded; his favorite saying. He cast a gentle smile at Mamoru, a subtle vote of confidence, and Mamoru felt emboldened. They ended their journey outside a closed door, but Mamoru could hear muffled voices from within. "And the only faith you need to be earning right now is hers. So. Are you ready?"

"Yes sir," Mamoru answered, without a beat.

Chiryoshi knocked in warning, then slowly pushed open the door, his practiced look of professional solicitude already in place. Mamoru did his best to mimic the expression before following the doctor into the room...

Only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw who laid upon the bed.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Yeah, yeah, I know things don't exactly work out like that in a hospital setting. Bite me. This ain't Grey's Anatomy here xD So what do you guys think? I liked that Mamoru might be interested in trauma recovery - given what he went through as a child! Are you excited about where this is going? Usagi and Mamoru might be off to a rocky start at first, but like all good things, the wait will be worth it ;) I also wanted to note that Chiryoshi means "healer" in Japanese, so little Easter egg for y'all!

BIG THANKS to my wonderful, lovely, dearest reviewers of last chapter! You kept me accountable ;P **TropicalRemix, CassieRaven, Panda1573a, cindermane, jessielee14, Rufael,** **Guest** (x2) **, karseneau1, championofjustice27, Roxypockets1, Daire123, SaturnnFoxx, karinori, Deadly Aura, Sesshy's Rose, Oreo596, Tori-Lee Keene,** and **phillynz**. MUCHOS GRACIAS! Hope you guys will stick around!

Until next time,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	3. The Patient

Usagi honestly did not think things could get any worse.

She spent the hours after being told she was blind in a sort of morose stupor, refusing meals and choosing instead to just lie there pretending like she couldn't hear on top of see. Wasn't being a vegetable kind of like being blind anyway? She could no longer enjoy the things around her. No TV, because who wanted to just _listen_ to a show? No manga, because how would she read it? Her mother, bless her, had tried her hardest to draw Usagi out, but then she made the mistake of attempting to describe the pictures in Usagi's latest shoujo and that set the odangoed blonde off again, turning to weep brokenly into her pillow as it was once more driven home all the things she was going to miss. That was when she discovered she couldn't even _cry_ properly anymore. The damage to her cornea had also ruined her tear ducts, leaving her with an awful burning sensation that could not be relieved. It was misery, drowning in her feelings yet unable to release them in the manner Tsukino Usagi had previously been so known for, so she just laid there hiccupping and gasping and making altogether a rather embarrassing display of herself. She was glad when everyone finally stepped out to give her some privacy, aware of the mass exodus by the sound of retreating footsteps.

No, she really did not think the situation could have gotten any worse.

But apparently, fate was bound and determined to prove her wrong.

Some hours after Usagi's long crying jag - or lack of crying jag, which somehow was even worse - there was a knock on the door. Ikuko and Kenji, who had arrived with Shingo after picking the boy up from school, ceased their discussions about what alterations they could make around the house to make Usagi's life easier. Usagi could sense their anticipation as Dr. Chiryoshi announced his presence.

"Good afternoon, everyone. Usagi-san, I hope you're feeling well today?"

Usagi played self-consciously with the loose threads on her sheets. "I'm fine," she said quickly, feeling like she had never made a statement further from the truth. Ikuko cleared her throat, in that obnoxious Mother-Knows-Best kind of way that makes all children want to roll their eyes. "Well... I guess my ribs have been a little sore."

"You had a few minor fractures that will take some time to heal. I'll see if the nurse can increase your pain medicine, but just for tonight. We have to be careful, because it's strong stuff, very addictive, and I don't want you to become reliant. Tomorrow we'll try just a couple Advil and see if that suffices, hmm?"

Usagi nodded, not really caring either way. She had endured her fair share of pain these past few months, more than she ever thought she would in a lifetime, and this constant ache in her ribs was nothing compared to being used as a homicidal youma's punching bag. But the medicine they gave her made her feel funny; like she was floating high above her body. Perhaps it would be nice to escape it all for just one more night. The girl blinked and had to pull herself from thought as Dr. Chiryoshi continued; a feat harder than it used to be, now that she didn't have the luxury of facial cues.

"You'll probably need to stay that course for at least a few weeks after discharge, and even after you're feeling back to 'normal' we'll still want you to take it easy until we can determine you truly are in the clear. Ribs are a very tricky business. But!" Here, Dr. Chiryoshi clapped, his voice becoming markedly brighter, "Speaking of your departure home! I do believe I have some good news. The nurses and I agree, your progress has been remarkable. When you first arrived, as your parents will attest, it was very touch and go. You gave us all a good scare. But all that sleeping you've been doing has done _wonders_... it's like your body took that opportunity to go full force on recouping and repairing. Just truly remarkable. I've never seen a patient bounce back so quickly after all the abuse you took."

Usagi blushed at the marvel in his voice, wondering what his reaction would be if he knew it was because of Senshi power.

Now if only her power could cure blindness, she thought soberly.

"That's why I think it's safe to say we can probably send you on your way in only a couple more days."

"I can go home?" Usagi asked hopefully, in a hushed whisper. She longed for her plush coverlet and the peace of her quiet bedroom, where she didn't have to deal with constantly being poked, prodded, and hovered over.

"I don't see why not. At this point, a familiar home environment will be far more conducive to your healing than remaining here, where our resources are unfortunately stretched rather thin at this time. But don't fret - I won't be discharging you empty-handed. Usagi-san, did you hear how many pairs of feet came through that door when I entered?"

Usagi blinked at the odd question. "Erm... two?"

"Correct!" Dr. Chiryoshi said, the beam on his face evident even without her sight. "Very well done, Usagi-san. Very promising. Nothing is going to be more important to you now than your powers of hearing. In fact, you may even experience an _increase_ in your abilities. When one sense fails us, the others will often band together and take over where the other left off. It's like... our own personal failsafe. Now I'm not saying it's going to be an easy adjustment... but you will adjust, Usagi-san. The human body is nothing if not adaptable. And to help you do that, I have enlisted the help of one of my top ranking interns, whose work in trauma recovery is becoming legend around here. Everyone, please meet one of Azabu General's finest - Chiba Mamoru."

Usagi was fairly certain she just stopped breathing all together, her blood running cold as ice as she wondered desperately if she'd heard him right.

 _Chiba... Mamoru?_

* * *

 _No._

 _Oh, no oh no oh no oh no..._

Mamoru barely listened to the glowing accolades being lavished upon him, too busy was he in still trying to process the fact that the patient before him was none other than Tsukino Usagi - bed-ridden, bandaged... and blind. Her family whom he had never met stood around the bed gazing at he and Dr. Chiryoshi with the most hopeful expressions on their faces, like he was some savior come to bestow a miracle, and Mamoru felt like the worst of phonies because _he couldn't do this, how the hell was he supposed to do this_ , and even more disconcerting was that he couldn't seem to stop _staring_ at Usagi. Just, staring at her like one would a train wreck, horrified yet unable to look away.

His brain struggled to reconcile the image of this broken shell of a girl with the bubbly, happy-go-lucky one who never failed to land - quite literally - into his path, his personal space, every morning.

He'd wondered where she'd been this past week.

Mamoru swallowed past an uncomfortably dry throat, the noise sounding more like a gulp to his ears. He wished Dr. Chiryoshi would quit hailing him as such an 'exemplary human being'. He could hardly see Usagi's face since she was half-covered in the thick white gauze, but he was pretty sure she was thinking something other than 'exemplary' if the grit to her teeth was any indication.

"So if you're willing, I'd like to have Chiba-san visit with you a couple afternoons a week, though perhaps every day just to start, until you have mastered the basics..."

If _she_ was willing? He didn't even know if _he_ was willing anymore! How on earth was he supposed to take on something of this magnitude; to play teacher to a person he could barely even stand to be _civil_ with? But Mamoru had to tame his wild thoughts as Chiryoshi turned a blinding smile on him, all pride for his star intern, and dammit, he couldn't back out and let the man who was such a mentor to him down now, could he?

And then, the final nail in his coffin -

Tsukino Ikuko approached on timid feet, but her eyes were still plying him with that look that made him feel like he should've been able to walk on water. Oh, if only she knew the enmity that existed between him and her daughter. Mamoru felt so unworthy of their faith. She stopped just in front of him and he shifted nervously.

"I just want to say..." Ikuko's voice cracked and she cleared it, trying again. "I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart, Chiba-san, for being willing to dedicate your time to helping my daughter-"

"Mama," Usagi cut in, trying to keep her tone even, but Mamoru could still detect the exasperation, embarrassment and irritation lurking deep within. He knew them well.

"Hush, you," Ikuko threw over to the girl, then turned back to Mamoru with tears in her eyes. "Anyways, I just... I just want you to know how much this means to us. Like Dr. Chiryoshi-san said, we're all struggling to adjust right now, but having you around will make the changes that much easier. So... thank you!"

Mamoru was nearly knocked back when the small woman surprised him with a very unexpected, very tight hug that just about broke a rib, and he had to try very hard not to wince as she bumped into his shoulder. It was still smarting from the hit he took during battle. He awkwardly patted her back and in that moment he knew, there really was no going back. He was going to teach Tsukino freaking Usagi, the Odango Atama, how to live without her eyes. It was a terrifying thought. He glanced over and saw that the aforementioned blonde was trying very hard to not gag. He immediately felt weird and began to extricate himself as politely as possible from her mother's embrace.

"You're welcome, Tsukino-san. It's... really nothing," he mumbled. "I like helping people."

Usagi let out a poorly disguised snort-turned-cough.

"You're a lovely boy," Ikuko declared. "I like him!"

This time, Usagi's displeasure was rather more pronounced. The glare she seemed to be leveling in his general direction was positively frosty. If looks could kill...

Dr. Chiryoshi interrupted the moment, and probably Mamoru's untimely demise, with another clap of the hands, drawing the attention back onto him. "So... Usagi-san. What do you say? Will you do it?"

The teen's face screamed deer in the headlights, and Mamoru didn't blame her; he felt much the same. But this was her chance to turn back. To demand someone else, _anyone_ else but the man who made her every morning a living hell and she his. There was a looooong pause, and that's what Mamoru figured she was working up to do. He could already feel the sigh of relief building in his chest.

He was thoroughly shocked when she replied, softly and slowly, "Yes."

Mamoru gaped at Usagi. She looked miserable. Like she'd been backed into a corner and forced at gunpoint. And yet... she _could_ have said no. They hated each other. Well, maybe hate was a strong word... but they definitely annoyed each other and were generally not fond of the other's existence. So why had she agreed? It made no sense.

As Dr. Chiryoshi started in on what they could expect in the coming weeks, Mamoru watched Usagi's face closely for any clues as to the reasoning for her answer, but found none. At the very least, he took solace in the fact that he clearly wasn't the only one dreading this arrangement.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Next chapter... Usagi and Mamoru aren't the only strained relationship around here! o_O Dun dun daaaa... Feel free to guess away on where this is going; I love hearing your theories, and the things you liked about this chapter, or what you hated, or what the weather is where you are, or really just any interaction with me because even the smallest review is HUGE encouragement! Thank you all for coming along with me on this ride! Especially **Ruk, Astraearose-silvermoon, haruka-usagi-forever, TropicalRemix, Sesshy's Rose, Moon Bunny, Princesakarlita411, cindermane, GraphicsChyk, sailor silvimoon, phillynz, Moonlight Usagi-Chan, Aya Faulkner, Rufael, usakobunnymoon, jessielee14, Roxypockets1, Daire123, karseneau1, SaphireShimmer, Oreo596,** and **CassieRaven** who reviewed last chappy. Wish I could bake you all cookies!

Stay tuned for the drama to come ;)

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	4. The Wand

" _Anyone_ else... they could have picked absolutely ANYONE else, a monkey even, and that would have been preferable! ALL the people here in the hospital, and they had to go with _him_!?"

It was late afternoon and Usagi had just been reunited with Ami and Rei. The girls had come over as quickly as they could, thrilled to hear she was awake at last. After the initial hugs, Usagi quickly filled them in on what had transpired with Mamoru, unable to keep from loudly venting her frustrations.

Ami patted her arm sympathetically from her spot on the bed beside Usagi. "I'm sorry, Usagi-chan. I know it's not an ideal arrangement. But if the hospital doesn't have much manpower to spare, then it can't be helped, and he does sound like one of the most qualified for the job."

Usagi groaned. "He hates me. He hates me and I hate him. It's going to be miserable. Worse than a month straight of detention. I really don't want to do this!"

"Well... why are you?" Ami hedged, in an uncharacteristically uncertain voice. "You could have told the doctor you're uncomfortable with this set-up. Perhaps he could have looked into another candidate."

"And let that jerk win!?" Usagi exclaimed, shaking her head vehemently.

"Usagi, that's ridiculous," Rei cut in. Usagi could imagine the crossed arms and downturned brows all too clearly, as she turned to bluster in the priestess' general direction.

"It is not! You just... you don't understand, Rei-chan. You don't know how it is with him."

"I know that it's ridiculous you're whining and complaining when _you_ are the one who agreed. And maybe while you're at it you could show a little more gratitude? He's _helping_ you... he's helping you in a way no one else can!"

"Rei-chan..." Ami inserted, like a scold only gentler.

Rei's voice was shaking in the way it so often did when she was losing her cool with Usagi. Usagi had to bite her tongue very hard not to turn this into a full out argument. Sometimes being with Rei was a lot like being with Mamoru. She quickly changed the subject to something that would not result in one of them screaming at the other, even if her insides were still broiling at the 'ungrateful' comment. What did Rei think, that Usagi _wanted_ to be in this position?

"So how did you end up defeating the monster?" Usagi asked, a bit stiffly. She kept her query low in case anyone walked by the door at just the inopportune moment.

"Your wand," Ami answered, her voice taking on the sort of intrigue she usually exhibited when encountering an equation she could not immediately solve. "When you went down, we... we thought that was it. We thought all hope was lost. But then... suddenly, it was like, we all knew what to do - without even talking about it. It was eerie. Rei-chan can back me up on this. It's kind of like... we all heard a voice in our heads telling us to grab the crescent wand. I have no idea how but _it worked_. We pooled our powers and the wand acted like a conduit, taking our different attacks and magnifying them into something more; something so much stronger than we could have created alone. I don't think I've ever felt as, well, as _complete_ as I did in that moment. Like I'd come into my full powers. We completely obliterated the creature."

Usagi listened with rapt attention, ruminating on the crescent wand and just how little they apparently knew of its abilities. But there was also the slightest feeling of jealousy, niggling deep in her gut. "I thought I was the only one who could operate the wand." _I thought that was what made_ me _the leader._

The awe was still dancing around in Ami's voice as she answered, chuckling, "Well, there is still truth to that. We had to recover for _days_. It left all of us utterly exhausted, not just physically but our magical reserves were depleted too. I struggled to even maintain my transformation. You make it look easy!"

That momentarily sated the blonde, and she relaxed against the pillows. "I'm glad you were able to get rid of it."

"As are we," Rei said, quietly. The quiet remained for a few seconds longer, then Usagi heard Ami rustling around in her book bag. She was about to moan over what she figured was the impending emergence of a textbook, never having felt less like studying, but the girl was surprised when she felt something cool, metal and familiar sliding into her hands.

"Speaking of the wand... I thought you might want it back," Ami said, only to be interrupted with Rei's razor sharp,

"Ami-chan. _I thought we discussed this_."

"We did. And I disagreed with you."

Usagi's eyes widened from beneath their bandages, catching on to the meaning of their words with a foresight she didn't usually possess. Her heart skipped a beat.

"You want to keep it?" she whispered, her fingers tightening unconsciously around the handle.

"No, Usagi-chan-" Ami began, but was once again derailed by Rei.

"Of course we do! What if there's another attack like the one we faced downtown, huh? What are we supposed to do, twiddle our thumbs and watch while the city falls around us? That wand is our _only chance_."

"But it's mine," Usagi countered, cursing the thick burning sensation in her throat, and how petulant she sounded right now. But it was true. This wand was the symbol of everything she was as a Senshi. It made her their leader. It gave her her ultimate power. Without it, she was... she was...

Leave it to Rei to coax out the inner demons she had been terrified to uncage.

"Face it, Usagi," the shrine priestess intoned flatly. "You can't fight anymore. You're a liability in the battlefield. The wand is useless to you. At least leave it with us where we can stand a freaking chance against these things!"

"Rei-chan!" Ami shouted, appalled. Usagi barely registered her reaction though, so shaken was she by Rei's harsh words; harsh but true, all of it. They rattled around in her brain, refusing to relinquish their awful hold. _Useless_. _Liability_. The noose of her dark new reality wound ever tighter against her neck, and she felt suffocated by the loss of all that made her important in this world.

"It's true, Ami-chan!" Rei fired back, in just as noisy a fashion. "She can't be Sailor Moon anymore! And you, you sit there trying to placate her like there's nothing wrong, like she's not... like she's not..."

Rei's voice broke, broke like a vase crashing to the ground and shattering into a thousand tiny pieces, and she turned tail and raced from the room, the door slamming behind her. The silence left in her stormy wake was almost painful, both remaining girls breathing heavily and not quite sure what to say in the tattered quiescence that followed. Ami was the first to make the tremulous attempt.

"Usagi-chan... she... she didn't mean it like that..."

Usagi slowly slunk down the pillows until she was recumbent, still clutching the returned moon wand for dear life. Her tone was affectless as she answered, "Of course she did. Rei-chan is nothing if not brutally honest."

"Usagi-chan, you didn't see her..." Usagi felt Ami's cringe as the girl realized her poor phrasing, but still the erudite plodded on, desperate to make her friend understand. "She was barely holding on by a thread the entire time she was in here. It kills her to see you like this. She blames herself. We _all_ do."

"Is that why Mako-chan didn't come today?" Usagi whispered, softly rubbing the sharp edge of the crescent against her lips as she continued connecting the dots she didn't want to connect. "She's not really under the weather, is she. She's scared to see me like this, too."

"Usagi-chan..."

"To see me _weak_. Weak and _useless_."

"Usagi-chan, stop it!" Ami cried, grasping at the blonde's shoulders and giving her a little shake. Usagi found herself wishing she could weep again, but the absence of tears made her lay there in stony avoidance. "Yes, Mako-chan was afraid to come today. So was I. This isn't easy for us, and we all deal with our fear and our pain and our guilt in different ways. Mako-chan withdraws. Rei-chan takes shelter behind her anger. And I... I read up until all hours of the night on optometry and try my hardest to solve the puzzles that cannot always be solved."

The blue-haired fourteen-year-old laughed bitterly; self-deprecatingly.

"But you! You have _always_ been the strongest of all of us, Usagi-chan. You _cannot_ give up. Don't sentence yourself to a life of despair and inaction because all seems hopeless right now. We _will_ find a way to get you back out with us again. This is _not_ the end. Do you hear me? _It's not the end!_ "

Usagi smiled wanly at her certainty, wishing she could feel that confident. But that day seemed a million miles away, lost to the prospect of having to re-learn such simple things as how to cook a meal or cross a street without someone having to constantly guide her way. She slowly relaxed her death grip on the handle of the moon wand, feeling like she was having an out-of-body experience in the time it took to carefully pass over the rod and let it go into Ami's unwilling fingers... the transfer of power complete.

"Usagi-chan... no..." Ami protested, meekly, trying to push it back.

"Ami-chan, it's okay. I'm not giving up. I'm just being practical," Usagi said, refusing her hands. "Rei-chan's right. I have no use for it right now. But you guys do. Protect the world in my stead. Please."

Ami swallowed so loudly, Usagi heard it. She was still very reluctant, but she agreed, "Just for a little while, okay?"

"Sure," Usagi returned, with a smile that didn't extend beyond her mouth. Ami seemed to sense that her friend was still down in the dumps, so she reached out and tenderly rubbed the top of Usagi's hand in a comforting motion.

"Hey. They'll come around. You'll see. Just give them a little time," the scholarly teen reassured. And again, "This isn't the end."

Usagi nodded, but the act was really just reflex at this point, because inside she was still mourning the loss of her crescent moon wand and in effect her title as Senshi leader, and as much as she tried not to think this way...

It sure felt an awful lot like giving up.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Please don't hate me please don't hate me please don't hate meeee... It's always gotta get bad before it gets good, right? I promise your faith will be rewarded in due time. This was definitely a hard one to write. I LOVE Rei, and the friendships between all the Senshi really, but especially Usagi/Rei... so to write them at odds like that in a way that wasn't playful... it was painful for me! But necessary. In the end this is gonna help both of them come to terms with everything. I think an older Rei would've been a little less abrasive, but this is season one Rei, and that Rei was still learning to appreciate Usagi. She was less open with her feelings, so I think her first instinct in a situation so out of her control like this would be to get mad. She wouldn't want Usagi to know she's hurting... that she affects her like that. How do you think I did?

Next chapter: Usagi goes home at last, but she's still struggling with the fallout from the events seen here. Then... the first lesson! ;) How horribly do you think this'll go, eh?

Also... I wasn't going to, but I have since decided to do chapter titles. It'll be fun to try and pick one thing - one item, one person, one theme... you catch my drift - that is predominantly featured in the chapter and have that as the title name. So yeah. Be on the look out for those new titles and see if you can guess what each means/what its relation is to the chapter :D

Much cookies and thanks to the following reviewers: **Astraearose-silvermoon, haruka-usagi-forever, TropicalRemix, Oreo596, karseneau1, Aya Faulkner, Rufael, Moon Bunny, James Birdsong, lashun316, jessielee14,** **Guest** (x2) **,** **Jenbunny, usakobunnymoon, Daire123, CassieRaven,** and **Amy**. I squee'd reading every one and love hearing your theories, hopes, and favorite bits!

Until next time,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	5. The Cat

Going home was a mixed blessing.

In one way, it was a relief. The bandages came off, which was kind of like getting to take off a jacket after being forced to wear it for too long in a too mild environment. She had gotten used to them, until she thought about the fact that they were _there_ , and that would get her tugging and rubbing at them as surreptitiously as possible until someone ultimately noticed and scolded her. Now at last she felt as though she could breathe again; it was an incredibly freeing sensation. Usagi also was looking forward to no longer having to deal with people constantly checking in on her. It was a little overwhelming, but also frustrating, because she could never seem to find a private moment. And what she wanted most right now was to be alone; to mope and feel badly about her current plight, and all it entailed - strained friendships, training with Mamoru... the list went on.

At least Ami was still in her court. The girl came by to visit Usagi on her last day in the hospital. It was under the guise of keeping her company for a bit while Usagi's mother ran some errands in preparation for her daughter's homecoming, but really Usagi was pretty sure it was just so the erudite could fill her in on all she had missed in school. As Ami prattled on excitedly about algebraic formulas and Usagi half-heartedly nodded along, deep down she wondered... Would she even be able to go to school anymore after this? Once, she might not have cared. Would have been overjoyed at the prospect of being allowed to skive on her studies. But now...

Usagi had also inquired on the girls only to receive a forlorn hand on the shoulder in response. She sighed. She knew the reasons behind their distance... but it still _hurt_.

"Please don't worry about it, Usagi-chan," Ami pleaded. "They're just feeling a little lost right now, but they'll find their way back. Promise."

Usagi tried to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing, but after Ami left the depression began to creep back in. She felt so alone. So ostracized by her friends; even her family. As they began the process of packing up and checking out, that was when Usagi noticed the way everyone just seemed to, well, _tiptoe_ around her blindness. She felt like a child, a very incompetent child with their simpering voices and their hands all over her, Ikuko tightly gripping her hand and Kenji her back, guiding her along like she might go down at any moment. And then there was Shingo, stupid little brother Shingo who she could always rely on to blow her a raspberry and break the levity - or her sanity, it was often a toss up - of any situation, and even _he_ didn't seem to know how to handle her. He spoke to her in stilted snippets of forced politeness, so awkward and hesitant that Usagi wanted to scream.

She wasn't suddenly a different person because she was blind. She was still _Usagi_ , still the same inside even if a little changed outside, but as they sat in the car and surrounded her in the worst attempt at cheerful bravado she'd ever encountered, the girl found herself withdrawing.

She didn't want to pretend nothing was wrong. Didn't want fake smiles, didn't want to be led around everywhere like a helpless tot. She was beginning to feel painfully trapped inside this vehicle with her family blabbering banally around her, clearly wishing to involve her but so afraid of saying the wrong thing, and it only devolved the closer they got to home. Usagi finally had enough when she had both Ikuko and Kenji on either side of her, each holding an arm, each coaxing her down the front walk like one might an errant dog.

"You don't need to hold my hand - I know my own house!" Usagi snapped, wrenching herself free of them.

"Usagi..."

"I can find my way to my bedroom," she said haughtily, trying to retain as much dignity as possible as she brushed past them, achingly aware of the uneven layout of the path before her, yet somehow she managed to make it to the stoop without landing flat on her face. That was a small victory in and of itself, yes?

She could still sense that her parents were hovering annoyingly close, but at least they had given her this much - a long leash was better than nothing - and that cooled her down a bit. She yearned with a need so powerful it was almost palpable to be within the safety and solace of her bedroom, and so she reached out, feeling her way up the railing and to the handle, one step at a time; one obstacle at a time. She could do this. _She could do this_.

It was so important that she be able to do this; this one simple task that before would've involved no thought whatsoever.

The door pushed open under her urging and oh, the smell that crashed into her like a tidal wave off the Pacific was so beautiful and familiar and comforting that Usagi wanted to sob with relief. She was _home_. The girl breathed in deeply. She could detect hints of Papa's coffee and Mama's cooking still lingering in the air from breakfast. There was also a pleasant floral undertone that she recognized as the family's laundry detergent, and something else she couldn't quite identify but that was still uniquely _them_. Oh, she had missed this!

There was a loud meow at her feet. Usagi immediately brightened up, reaching down to let the feline leap into her arms.

"Luna!"

"I swear, I have never seen a cat so beside itself," Ikuko declared, and Usagi straightened, nuzzling her small friend close, rubbing her cheek against the silky soft fur. Luna's purring reverberated in her ear. "While you were at the hospital, she just paced around the house like a mother bear without its cub. She didn't seem to know what to do without you."

Luna made a noise that Usagi took as concurrence. She smiled, whispering more to the cat than anyone else, "I felt the same."

Luna's purring increased in volume. Usagi gave her one last squeeze before gently setting the creature back onto the floor. She made a motion to move toward the direction she knew the staircase to be, before Ikuko quickly intercepted her.

"Oh Usagi... I made cookies earlier. To celebrate your homecoming! Do... you think you'd like some or...?"

Usagi's lips twitched almost imperceptibly downward. "I'm really just tired right now, Mama... I think I'll head to bed."

"Right, right, of course, I'll just... Shingo, will you help your sister upstairs-"

" _No_! I mean... no," Usagi answered, trying to temper the belligerence out of her tone, because she didn't _not_ want their help, it was just... Couldn't they let her be, just for an hour or two!?

It was all still so much. She needed to be alone so badly right now.

Usagi started again for the stairs with an inching gait, feeling Luna right at her feet like her guardian feline was trying to show her the way, and gratefully she followed the cues. They began the ascent very slowly, Usagi sure that her parents were huddled at the base of the stairs just waiting to catch her should she plummet. She tried very hard not to think about that possibility.

 _5...6...7..._ Usagi counted the steps, each one bringing her closer to the thirteenth and last, each one like a release in tension she didn't even know she'd been storing. When she finally arrived at her bedroom door, Luna curling around her legs murmuring "Very good job, Usagi-chan", the girl felt like she could collapse then and there. Apparently, it was exhausting work just laying around for a week. But she kept going, kept pushing onward, until her hands hit the bunny coverlet. She squeezed the fabric gently, smiling to herself. _I did it. I really did it._

She would have to thank her mother for having made her bed, because she was certain it was nowhere near this neat before her absence. But she filed that thought away for another time; a time when she didn't crave sleep like it had been denied to her, when in reality she had done nothing but. Usagi didn't even take off her clothes; she just crawled right under the covers and let her bones sink into the sublime softness. No mattress could ever compare to her own, especially not the awful stiff hospital ones. She sighed, closing her eyes, then musing for the umpteenth time why she was even bothering to do so when there was no change in her vision. That brought Usagi's morose mood careening back, and she curled in on herself, _hating_ this darkness, this separation from the world she so loved, and worse... the people she loved.

A warm body nudged its way into her cocoon, slipping under her arm with a dexterity of movement only a cat could possess. Usagi felt Luna's sandpaper scratchy tongue give her nose a little kiss.

"Hey you," the fourteen-year-old greeted, cuddling her smallest friend close. "You're gonna blow your cover worrying about me so obviously like that."

Luna let out an affronted huff in response to her charge's teasing. "No, blowing my cover would have been breaking into the intensive care unit after hours to come see my injured ward, and believe me, I was _sorely_ tempted. But that place is locked up tighter than a castle under siege!"

"Does that mean you made an attempt?" Usagi gasped lightly.

"Let's just say it involved me, flat on my back, out in the middle of the street, sporting one very sore scruff."

" _They didn't_!"

"They did. And then had the audacity to call me a 'dirty alley cat'... _me_! An _alley cat_!" Luna scoffed in disgust.

"That. Is. It. I'm marching straight over there right now and kicking someone's ass!" Usagi exclaimed, which led to both of them dissolving into giggles. It was a brief moment of levity, of normalcy, but all too soon reality crept back in. "Or I would. If I wasn't a useless invalid incapable of protecting a fly."

Luna's voice was sober as she broached, "Ami-chan told me what happened with the girls. Usagi-chan, I am so sorry their reaction was... well, it wasn't fair or understanding of them at all."

"The situation had to be addressed either way," Usagi said evenly, in a rare display of insight for the odangoed blonde. "Rei-chan could have used a little more tact for sure, but... she's not wrong. They need to protect the city. And I am... unable to do that in my state."

She swallowed past a lump the size of a dumpling, but managed not to crumble, nor let any of the bitterness she felt leak through. A definite feat.

Luna's voice was more tender and gentle than it had ever been when speaking to the fourteen-year-old, like she knew full well the effort Usagi was putting into keeping up a brave front. "You showed great maturity, giving Ami-chan the moon wand, Usagi-chan. I know how hard that must have been. You did the right thing, and I'm so proud of you."

"Mm."

"The girls will come around too. No need to worry. They deal with things in their own way, but they would never intentionally hurt you. Even Rei-chan," Luna quipped with wry humor, unconsciously summoning the ghost of Ami's words from earlier. But Usagi didn't want to think about that anymore, so she turned her face into the pillow and murmured a muffled apology to the cat about needing to rest now. Luna's voice still carried that same warmth as she told Usagi to sleep well, promising to watch over her. And watch she did, keeping vigil from a perch by the window, Usagi somehow aware of her presence even though she couldn't quite explain _how_ , but it comforted her nonetheless.

She slept for a very long time, past dinner and the timid knock from her brother calling her downstairs, not rousing again until sometime after midnight. She'd had a dream about dress shopping and eating kinoko no yama with Naru, so vivid she could still see the white lace and feel the sticky residue of chocolate on her fingers, but it was just memory... a wispy imagining that was slowly seeping away; away, into the black hole that was her mind, and everything was just dark dark dark...

Usagi whimpered. As a child, she could easily switch on a nightlight when nightmares got the best of her, but what could she do now to chase away her fears? When her waking life _was_ the nightmare?

She felt the shift in weight when Luna leapt onto the mattress. "It's alright, Usagi-chan. It's alright. I'm here."

"Luna," Usagi sniffled, opening her arms. "Oh Luna, it's so dark. I'm scared... I hate it. I _hate_ it, Luna!"

"I know," Luna whispered sadly, laying her head upon the girl's chest. Usagi's hand was trembling as she pet between the cat's ears, trying to distract herself from the overwhelming sense of helplessness; the sense like she was dangling on the precipice of some great gaping chasm, and if she were to topple she would just fall down and down and down... a never-ending darkness. But then, she was already there, wasn't she? Already in the clutches of darkness, so deep no light would ever be able to touch her again.

It was a terrible thought, but then an even more terrible one crossed her mind, and Usagi shivered with the awful yet enticing force of it. Later, she would look back with immeasurable sorrow on this moment; this weakest point in her whole journey, when she wondered whether a life without light was one even worth living at all.

 _It might have been better if that youma had just killed me instead._

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: I know, I know... I said Mamoru's first lesson with Usagi would be in this chapter and it wasn't *dodges the tomatoes* It was supposed to be in the second half, but then this first half just kind of blew up and I decided to break it up. If you're still with me after this angstfest, I love you dearly, and I'm sorry for how BLEAK everything seems. But I promise, this is probably the most depressing it's going to be, because next chapter we see Usagi hit her 'breaking point' so to speak, and that catharsis is what will finally allow her to get on the path to recovery. That's when the real fun begins :) Also we will definitely see some resolution on the Senshi front so WORRY NOT! I too hate our girls not getting on like they usually do T_T It's just as painful for me to write as it is for you guys to read!

Big hugs for those who reviewed last chapter: **Shadow Queen's Posts, Oreo596, cindermane, Ruk, Jenbunny, CassieRaven, haruka-usagi-forever, NikkiBC, missmartian369, Rufael, Guest, Astraearose-silvermoon, misako, Daire123, SaphireShimmer, Roxypockets1, jessielee14, Aya Faulkner, Pia Bartolini,** and **Asj** **Johnson**. Your feedback was SO motivating for me, particularly when I had a couple rough patches of writer's block! So THANK YOU!

Until next time,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	6. The Bedroom

Usagi's funk persisted into the following morning, looming over her like a gruesome specter, souring her thoughts, her motivation, even her hunger. It did not go unnoticed by her family; her mother finally gave up asking Usagi to come down for breakfast and left her a tray on the nightstand, which the girl very reluctantly picked at, and only because Luna badgered her to do so. The cat was unwavering when Usagi suggested she get some fresh air, never once leaving Usagi's side. She secretly was glad for the company, even if she still wanted to be alone. It was a confusing dichotomy of feeling, but maybe it was because Luna offered something no one else had -

Patience.

She wasn't hurrying Usagi out of bed, trying to get her to go about her day like usual. She understood that Usagi needed this time to grieve; to heal... That it was okay _not_ to be okay. And she was showing her, in her own small way, that she would still be there whenever Usagi was ready to face reality.

It was a welcome relief from the way her parents were acting, their hounding at her door becoming so incessant she wanted to bury herself under the covers and scream.

Her father was the first to start the cycle.

"Ah... sweetheart... hi..." Kenji said, cracking open the door while knocking, a habit Usagi had always hated. She rolled over to gaze in his general direction. "How... how are you?"

"Fine," the girl answered automatically; dully.

There was a lengthy pause, and Usagi was pretty sure she heard her father tugging at his tie; his nervous tell. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "...that's, er, that's good. Your mama just sent me up here to remind you that you have your first session with Chiba Mamoru-san this afternoon and she thinks you ah, might want to be getting up now. Alright? She's got lunch cooking downstairs... will you be wanting any?"

"I'm not hungry," Usagi sighed, words she was wearing out today with their use.

There was an even longer pause and even more rustling. The girl almost felt bad for causing him so much discomfort - this really wasn't Papa's area of expertise - but she just felt so darn listless.

"Okay," Kenji replied at last, his tone vaguely defeated. He started to close the door with an, "I love you, sweetie."

"Love you too, Papa," Usagi whispered back, but he was already gone. She sighed a second time, nestling herself deeper into the pillow, still very aware of Luna's eyes on her. Usagi was sure she was positively bursting with admonitions, but mercifully, the cat said nothing. So she shut her eyes, and forced herself back into a restless slumber.

The next series of knocks was far more jarring than the last.

Usagi groaned audibly, yanked from the dregs of a lovely dream about living in space and being able to watch the sun rise over a young earth, but it was quickly escaping her as her mother's shrill voice rang out.

"Usagi!" she was calling, the same way she would whenever Usagi had dozed a little too long past her alarm. " _Usagi_! Your lesson is in an hour and I'd like to hear some signs of life in there, please!"

The fourteen-year-old scowled groggily. "I don't want to go."

"What's that?"

"I don't. _want_. to go!" Usagi cried, sitting up. She heard the bedroom door moan inward as her mother entered, and crossed her arms obstinately over her chest. There was a brush of fur past her leg and she felt Luna's cold paw rest against her, but whether it was in solidarity or as a warning, she didn't know. "Why do I have to!"

Ikuko's voice was carefully measured when she responded to her fuming daughter, but it was not the 'Because I'm telling you so' Usagi was expecting. Instead, she caught Usagi off guard with the very thing she had been wrestling with more than anything these past few days, and it hit her like a ton of bricks to the gut.

"Do you not want to help yourself?"

Usagi fumbled for words, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, but nothing came. It seemed very uncharitable to let on to what she was really thinking, and that was that maybe she would rather live out the rest of her days here, in bed, a recluse. What would be so bad about that? Safe from the perils of the world; never having to navigate the many unknowns that right now just seemed so insurmountable. And most of all, she wouldn't need Chiba freaking Mamoru to show her the way.

"I... I don't know."

Ikuko's voice was a rough mixture of disappointment and sorrow as she addressed Usagi, and it was as if she knew exactly what her daughter was not saying. "Well I hope you figure it out. You have so much life left to live, Usagi, and you won't do any of that cooped up in here."

Usagi was surprised when she heard the sound of retreating footsteps and the door swinging shut on her. She felt very cut down to size, and shrunk in on herself, still sullen. What did Mama know? She really didn't need anything else other than this room. No school. No fighting monsters. No friends. After all, they wouldn't be bothered to come and visit her anyway. Yes, she was _perfectly_ happy here.

Here... there was no chance to be hurt again.

Clinging to this small solace, Usagi rolled over onto the cool side of the pillow and, knees to her chest, attempted to escape reality one more time. It was hard, because she'd slept _so_ much already, but she was Tsukino Usagi after all, and she could probably win a napping marathon with both eyes open, ha. There was also a desperate lingering hope inside her that she might have another dream. She knew that was counterproductive, that it was just her brain playing tricks on her, but it was the only time she got to see again... and bittersweet illusion was better than nothing. So she settled down with eyes squeezed tight, and tried to ignore the unspoken sentiments in the sigh Luna let out, too similar to her parents' own.

oOo

Usagi was having another dream about space, and weirdly enough she could see earth from the same vantage point as in her other dream, except this time there was someone with her. She couldn't quite make out her companion, but his profile was distinctly male, and an attractive male at that if his sharp cheekbones were any indication. They didn't talk - _they didn't have to, there was just as much comfort between them in perfect silence as there was in idle conversation_ \- just gazed down at this majestic planet with hands clasped, and an overwhelming awe in her heart.

"I want to live there with you," she told this shadowy man with breathless yearning, and he chuckled deeply, a gentle rumble that bubbled up from out from his chest and made her feel weak at the knees.

"Don't you have a certain responsibility here?" the voice, also indistinguishable in her muddled dream state, inquired just as longingly.

"I don't care."

" _Wake up_..."

"We can run away. Far away, where they'll never find us! Build a cottage on some far-flung island by the sea, just you and me, growing old, not a care in the world..."

" _Odango_..."

"It's a lovely dream, isn't it?"

" _Jesus, Odango, you sleep like the dead. Wake. Up_!"

Usagi grunted, the beautiful images in her mind beginning to slip away as the darkness crept back in, and with dawning awareness came a certain irritation with her mother for beckoning her away from this pleasant other realm...

Wait.

Her mother never called her _Odango_.

Usagi's eyes snapped open, and she jerked up out of bed, dragging the blankets with her, gathering them at her chin. She stared uncertainly towards the direction of her door, heart beating very uncomfortably fast. She could have sworn...

"Ah, there you go. That wasn't so hard was it?"

 _Definitely_ not Mama's voice. Usagi's tone was pure venom as she spat out, "You! _What_ are you doing in my bedroom?"

Chiba Mamoru's voice was a concerted attempt at suave as he replied, "Actually, I'm not _in_ your bedroom, if you er, can call this mess a bedroom?"

Usagi could feel her cheeks flushing hot pink, wondering just what state she left her room in before engaging in that fateful battle and what personal effects were undoubtedly lying out in the open, but she didn't let her embarrassment dissuade her from her initial fury. "And just who told you you could come in here!" she shouted. There was movement at her arm; Luna was beside her again, tail flicking, primal animal instincts kicked into first gear - ready to protect her charge if need be.

"Again, I'm not _in_ here, I haven't set a foot over the threshold, but if you must know it was your mother who asked me to see if I could retrieve you for your lesson. Something about depressed, refusing meals or even to leave the bed, and needing a different kind of encouragement than she felt she was able to provide? But, _clearly_ , she was wrong," Mamoru said, in a disbelieving drawl so weighed down with sarcasm it should have collapsed the floor around him. Was it possible to blush even harder? Usagi could feel the way his eyes were appraising her and her undoubtedly _very_ disheveled state; a week without a shower had certainly done her no favors. And if that wasn't bad enough, Mamoru continued to shine the proverbial spotlight, knowing all too well which buttons to push and push he did. "You ever heard of the Kübler-Ross model? The five stages of grief? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Any of those sound familiar right now?"

Usagi grit her teeth so hard it hurt. _How dare he_ encroach on her personal space - her _safe_ space - and preach to her about how she should or shouldn't be handling her blindness? It was infuriating to a whole new degree; she didn't think she'd ever been this angry in his presence before.

"You don't have a clue, Chiba. Not one damn clue! And just because my mother is head-over-freaking-heels for you, don't you think for one single second that you will _ever_ in a million years get the same from me!"

"Truly, I'm hurt. But as I was saying, what you're going through is a very natural process-"

"You can drop the condescending tone and get the hell out of my bedroom now, Mamoru-baka. There will be no lesson today," Usagi growled, slicing across him like a machete through soft flesh. She could feel it, a powerful something building inside her, and she shook like a leaf in a storm... only the tempest was _her_. Mamoru was either oblivious of the impending danger, or he didn't care.

"You can't avoid this forever, Odango. You can't hide from your family and friends, you can't stop eating, you can't sleep your life away... none of those will bring back your sight, no matter how hard you try. You have to face this-"

"I said. Get. _Out_." Usagi's voice was colder than she'd ever heard it. Beside her, Luna hissed - a low warning. Usagi appreciated the back-up, but knew if push came to shove, she could definitely hold her own against this man. After all, who among them was the superhero with celestial powers?

"Odango," Mamoru sighed, and he sighed it like he was exasperated with a misbehaving toddler. After the same puerile treatment from her family, that was the final straw for the odangoed fourteen-year-old. She shrieked in fury and grabbed at the first thing she could get her hands on. A drugstore plushie from the brief feel of it - the cute rainbow colored donkey, a very fitting selection if she did say so herself - before she sent it sailing toward her archnemesis.

"GO AWAY!"

She heard the _fwop!_ as Mamoru's hand connected with the plushie and he redirected its flight, and his mumble of, "Scary." But she was far past the point of no return, and completely unable to see the humor in this situation. Her blood was positively boiling as she continued to scream,

"GO AWAY, AND DON'T COME BACK! I hate you so much! You're _horrible_! Your parents must be so _ashamed_ of what an _ass_ you are!"

Oddly enough - just like she had known of Luna's vigil over her last night without truly being able to visualize her - Usagi sensed Mamoru's bristle. It was like a change in the air; a sudden chilly pall that had descended over the two, and whereas before Mamoru had kept a tight cap on himself, now Usagi heard real anger in his voice.

 _Good_ , she thought bitterly. _A taste of his own medicine_.

"You are a coward, Tsukino Usagi. A crybaby and a coward. So go ahead. Lie here and rot in this bedroom. Why should I care," Mamoru sneered. "I never wanted to be in this position in the first place. You were the one who had the chance to say no, to choose someone who could coddle you back to life or whatever the hell you want right now, and instead - for some unexplainable reason - you still picked me. I don't know what you expected from this... what you hoped to achieve here. But if your goal was to humiliate and insult me, bravo. You win. Now I'm going to take my leave, before I do or say anything brash, and you can take solace in the fact that your last wish to me the morning before the 'Downtown Debacle' came true. You never have to see me ever again. Have a nice life, Odango Atama."

* * *

It took supreme effort not to slam the door in his wake, but Mamoru was trying _so_ hard to take the high road here; to not stoop to the levels of petty Odango had just displayed. Inside, he was fuming.

The comment about his parents had been utterly uncalled for. He knew Usagi had no idea about them, about the accident and how horrible and lonely his childhood had been ever since, but it still didn't justify what she'd said.

He wasn't an ass.

Well... he wasn't _always_ an ass.

He certainly had his moments, and somehow it was usually her who brought that acerbity out of him - why was everything intensified around this small fiery blonde? - but he really had been trying to help her. Had he been going about it all wrong? Was she right to have taken offense with him? Mamoru sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, taking extra care to massage the aching synapses long and hard as he slowly, defeatedly, made his way back downstairs.

He was a very factual learner. A sensate through and through. He thrived off of being handed the 'how's and 'why's of a problem, which then allowed him dive in and dissect the issue, and only then once he understood every piece of the puzzle could he hope to solve it. That's what he had been _trying_ to do with Usagi... give her the keys and see if she might've unlocked it herself... but maybe, Usagi didn't operate that way. She was after all his opposite in most things... perhaps she learned best by looking at the puzzle in a different way. A 'bigger picture' way. So while he tackled life's little obstacles with all the mental acuity he'd been given, perhaps she was more of a tactile learner. If they ever were to continue their lessons, he would need to think of more hands-on activities to get her brain whirring, back on the track it needed to be if she was to have any hope of making progress.

That was a very big _if_.

Bordering on _never the hell again_.

Mamoru wandered into the kitchen to find Ikuko nursing a chamomile tea, her body slumped over the cup and the counter like she had barely the strength to sit with her normal grace. Still, she snapped to attention when Mamoru entered, plastering on a brilliantly fake smile.

"Mamoru-san! That was quick! How did it go?"

"Er... not well. She... didn't feel up for training today."

Ikuko immediately deflated, sighing, her dull blue eyes dancing a wayward path back to the curls of wispy steam making their way out of her mug. "Yes... I thought I might have heard her raised voice. She's... still struggling to come to grips with it, I think. I'm sorry you came all this way. I'd see if I could coax her out but I just- I don't know what to do to help her. She's shut us all out."

Ikuko looked so lost, so completely set adrift, that Mamoru wanted to give her a hug. But she wasn't one of the few close to him, and he knew it wouldn't have been proper, so he fought the urge - his only tell a slight twitch of the fingers. The eighteen-year-old then bowed deeply, murmuring, "Thank you for having me, Tsukino-san. I'm only sorry I couldn't do more. If... if she happens to express an interest in trying-"

"You'll be the first person I call," Ikuko said, and this time, her smile was genuine. She stood up and went to stand in front of him, reaching an arm up to pat his cheek in a gesture so motherly, it brought a pang to Mamoru's chest and a lump to his throat. He swallowed it away. "And please. None of this Tsukino-san nonsense. Call me Ikuko-san."

Mamoru blushed, ducking his head as he turned for the door. This time, the lump was more difficult to chase away. "Good afternoon, Ikuko-san."

He ambled out onto the porch and down the front walk, feeling the tension in his shoulders beginning to release as they sagged forward, and he groaned.

Well... that was a disaster.

The more Mamoru reflected on what had just occurred with Usagi, the more appalled he became with himself. He usually had so much more control than that. He often prided himself on his compartmentalization; his ability to hide his emotions inside a box, to be taken out and examined at a later point, once he was alone. Safe. It was a coping mechanism he learned long ago, at the orphanage, and it was really what allowed him to _function_ all these years. Otherwise, the sheer monstrous pain of his past would have surely struck him down, far before he had the chance to make something of himself. But this... this had just been so inappropriate on his part. Wasn't he supposed to be the teacher here? He was supposed to keep his cool, maintain his professionalism, no matter what his student - his _patient_ \- threw at him. It was one of the most important aspects of his job.

Mamoru resolved that should Usagi ever reach out to him for training, he wouldn't let it devolve like that again. Wouldn't let her get under his skin... even if she inadvertently brought up the sore subject of his parents. There was no excuse for how he acted. _Though..._ Mamoru cocked a wan smile, musing with chagrin as he remembered the frighteningly dead look she had greeted him with, _I suppose at the very least, I did manage to light a fire in her._

* * *

It was not a fire Mamoru had lit in Usagi.

It was an inferno.

Everything from the past week - the arrangement with Mamoru, her friends' distance, her family's endless clucking over her, but most of all, the pure 'why me' terror of having to be blind - was swelling and seeping within her like fast-moving cancer. She was an arrow upon a bow, pulled taut... A frothing pot, about to boil over... her whole being screamed for release but there was no relief for her, no, not now that she could not cry. So Usagi just stood there, shaking, fists squeezed so tightly she felt her nails drawing blood, all the while gasping as if on the verge of hyperventilation.

Luna was saying something, and Usagi strained to hear her over the thunderous pulsing in her ears.

"Usagi-chan... he's gone now... it's alright. Let go. Just let it go."

Luna's gentle encouragement resounded over and over in her head. _Let go_... _just let it go_... Usagi hiccupped once, then twice, then three times... and suddenly, it was as if the dam inside her broke. She let out a visceral howl, lunging for the first thing she could find - her chicken cuckoo clock, unused since last week, and she sent it careening across the room. It made a startled chirp as it hit the wall, and wow, did that feel good.

She fumbled some more; alighted upon another hapless victim. This time, her school pencil holder, and it too suffered the same fate. On and on it went, as she systematically began to destroy her room, a manic satisfaction stealing over her as Usagi heard every thud, crack and splat.

Her bedroom door went flying open.

" _Usagi_! What-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Her mother sounded horrified. "But-"

" _GO_!"

Ikuko made a hasty retreat. Usagi continued to rage, all of her raw, pent up emotions finally finding an outlet. She didn't need most of this junk anyway; everything was either useless to her in her sightless new state, or, it could easily be replaced. What mattered more was that at last, she was _feeling_ again. She was _healing_. Usagi didn't know how it was possible, but somehow Luna - that wonderful, smart, sassy cat, currently perched in the corner monitoring her charge to be sure she didn't accidentally harm herself - must have known what she did not. That this catharsis was exactly what Usagi needed. She had been bottling everything up for too long, but now, it was out in the open for her bedroom to receive. And she?

She was _free_.

It was relieving. Exhilarating. And very exhausting.

Usagi eventually lost steam, her body protesting weakly after its weeklong stint of inactivity, and so she collapsed onto the bed with a marveling chuckle. "That... felt really good."

"I figured perhaps now that you could not grieve in your usual manner, you had let it sit and fester inside you... and that perhaps you needed a more physical way to express your pain," Luna whispered, her voice like a soft caress within the shadows of Usagi's mind. The teen smiled brightly and opened up her arms, willing the cat to come cuddle with her a bit.

"Well you were right. I do feel loads better. Now... just a short power nap and then I think I might go downstairs and see what's for dinner," Usagi said, wrapping her arms around the ball of fur that had slipped into her waiting embrace. Luna kneaded her claws playfully into the fabric of Usagi's shirt.

"I think the more appropriate term would be _cat nap_ ," the ebony feline giggled, and Usagi had only the strength to snort drowsily before she began to drift. It was in the bewitching state just before sleep had her in its snares, when one's vulnerabilities are bared to the world, that she murmured,

"I'm not a coward, am I?"

"No. You are definitely _not_."

"I'm not. I need him to know that."

"He'll know."

oOo

She woke to hands carding through her hair, and the warm, familiar scent she'd grown up with her whole life; the one she associated with comfort... safety... provision... love.

"Well now... this is a little bit of a mess, isn't it?"

"I was re-decorating," Usagi quipped mildly, floating back to awareness with a cockney smile.

"I think you missed a spot," Ikuko returned the good humor, and Usagi had to laugh. "You seem in better spirits. I'm glad."

"I do feel better! More like... _me_ again. Whatever had hold of me before, it doesn't anymore." Ikuko helped Usagi up and gave her a fierce hug; the kind Usagi had always sought out after nightmares or a broken heart. She nuzzled into her Mama's protective grasp. "Sorry I've been a bit of a... well, you know... lately. I guess I've just been angry at the situation."

"Don't apologize, sweetie. You of all people shouldn't apologize. It's me who should be sorry. I pushed you into that lesson with Mamoru-san today, and I should have known it was too soon; you weren't ready. I just... I don't know. I feel like a terrible mother. I don't know _what_ you need. I'm hurting you more than helping you, seems like."

Usagi sighed. "It was just... you guys were treating me so differently. I'm still _me_. I'm not glass. But... I don't want to pretend nothing's wrong, either. If that makes sense?"

"Perfect sense."

"Really, I just wish everything would go back to normal," Usagi admitted, in a small voice.

"Oh honey," Ikuko gathered her back in, "We all wish that. More than anything. But you can't change what is, only how you react to it, and what matters now is that you keep on keeping on. I guess part of why I was pushing so hard was I just... didn't want to see you giving up."

"I won't give up. Promise," Usagi said, meaning it with every fibre of her being this time. "Which is why... I'm going to start up my lessons again tomorrow. For you... and for me."

Ikuko made a thrumming noise of approval Usagi felt deep into her chest. Her mother untangled them to gaze delightfully into Usagi's countenance; her daughter knew because the joy was positively emanating off the woman. "You will? Oh Usagi. I'm so proud. You'll learn so quickly, I know you will. And you'll have such a kind, sweet, _handsome_ teacher to boot."

She could hear the suggestive wink in Ikuko's teasing last remark, and it took all her willpower not to gag openly. "Ewwww, Mama! He's... he's old!"

 _And a smarmy, cold-hearted, fashion-deficient jerk!_

"Hey, you're almost fifteen. That's what, three and a half years? That's nothing when you're adults. Your Papa and I are five years apart!"

"Mama, _please_..."

"Not your type?"

"Not even a little bit."

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: *cracks knuckles* Well how 'bout them apples? What did you all think? Hopefully it packed the punch needed to push Usagi into the cathartic moment she so needed. It's all uphill from here ;) I would definitely appreciate feedback on this one given how intense it was. It was hard, but hopefully I succeeded in setting the stage for Usagi and Mamoru's tumultuous beginning that will eventually grow into more? They had to be a little harsh with each other, but not _too_ harsh, if you know what I mean.

I also hope you guys enjoyed the longer than usual length! I wrote so much because there might be a delay given the holidays, and I wanted to tide everyone over until I can update again. There were also some big things that happened in my life... on November 24th, I GOT ENGAGED! My sweetheart and I are over the moon. I CANNOT WAIT to be his wife! But... I guess this means... I have to plan a wedding!? (*runs screaming because that is just way too much adult responsibility for this Angel*) So... yeah. Things might be a little busier on my end than usual, and it could definitely affect my writing time. But I will try!

Most gracious thanks to the following reviewers of last chapter: **Moon Bunny, Oreo596, Guest** (x2) **,** **phillynz, Jenbunny, SaphireShimmer, tryntee13, missmartian369, ZeroAmada, Rufael, cimmimon, NikkiBC, jessielee14, karseneau1, MyIndy13, crystaltokyo123,** and **TinkStar87**. I am eternally in your debt for keeping me going on this! I only feel bad that I didn't have the time to reply to each and every one of you, but know that I cherished every review! Big kisses!

Happy Holidays and Best Wishes for 2019!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	7. The Phone

The next day saw a marked shift in Usagi.

It wasn't that she had shaken off all her bitterness and come to terms with her blindness, no, not at all. It was more like she had seized her bitterness and beaten it into a new shape, like potter to clay, punching and molding - or screaming and throwing - until she finally worked past the useless clump stage and into the 'hey, maybe I can do something with this' stage. She still felt angry, still felt the hollow sting of 'why me' curling dark and repugnant in her gut, but at least it was no longer a noxious cloud hanging over her head preventing her from doing anything else. She actually took a shower today, and put on real clothes, the first time in over a week.

To her family's credit, no one made a show of the fact that she was finally behaving like a human again, and she appreciated that greatly. In fact, they were almost acting like... _normal_. Usagi was sure she had her Mama to thank for that.

Of course, there were _some_ things that were still different. They had to be.

Usagi's rather more sensitive hearing had picked up on a quiet conversation Ikuko had with Shingo, where she asked the boy to stay downstairs while Usagi learned to navigate the shower on her own. And honestly, she had felt the tiniest bit irked at first, until she came to understand just what the benefit to privacy was when she tripped over the hallway carpet in just her towel and went sprawling. Ikuko's voice was immediate concern as she called up from the entry vestibule,

"Are you alright, Usagi!?"

Usagi could practically hear the intense desire to come 'mother hen' in Ikuko's query, but she consciously resisted, staying downstairs. Usagi was eminently grateful given her state of undress. She rubbed her smarting, rug-burnt knee with a wince.

"I'm okay."

Well... that was one way to learn just how uneven the journey from the bathroom to her bedroom was. She realized there was an awful lot she had taken for granted as a seeing person. Something so innocuous as a throw rug could suddenly prove hazardous under the right conditions, and Usagi knew - it would be up to her and her alone to recognize these dangers, and decide how to proceed. She tried not to dwell too much on just how _daunting_ that seemed.

The morning unfolded in much the same fashion. Usagi got to know her house again, relying solely on the power of touch, sound and smell in her explorations. That which had been so familiar, now was uncharted territory to her. She ignored the sight she must be making, crawling around on hands and knees, brushing her fingers over everything, trying to gauge her surroundings from the ground up. For the most part she knew what she was encountering, years of having lived under this roof giving her an advantage she would not have once outside these walls, but even so there were moments where she alighted upon something that did not immediately click in her mind. That was when there would be a hissed answer from below, and Usagi would quirk her lips - a silent thank you to her furry companion who followed her around without judgment.

She was finding that a lot of this was memorization mixed with what she had termed 'mental mapping'. In her mind, Usagi would draw a box, and in that box she would imagine the contents of whatever room she was in, placing them into position. She circled this room, physically and mentally, over and over until she felt she had the layout down; until she didn't feel the need to thoroughly examine every object in her path. The living room was the first to be mapped out, then the kitchen, much to Ikuko's delight and dismay, because as Usagi quickly figured out, there was boiling pasta on the burner. She sucked on her throbbing finger with a conciliatory grin.

"That my lunch?"

"Yes, it is, and if you would quit trying to manhandle it, I might finally have it ready for you!"

Usagi ducked obediently out of the kitchen, still nursing her sore appendage. She was stopped short by a tap on her shoulder, and turned around, feeling a cool wet rag being thrust gently into her palm. "Here, wrap it tight."

"Thanks, Mama."

"Usagi... yesterday..." Ikuko seemed to hesitate, then regained her nerve. "Yesterday, you told me you wanted to start your lessons back up again. Do you still feel the same? We _can_ hold off, if you want. I don't want to rush you before you're ready, I mean that."

Usagi sighed. Truth be told, she didn't want to have another session with Mamoru, and it had a lot more to do with shame than with unpreparedness. She knew she had crossed a line. Something in his reaction had intimated real hurt, and though Usagi couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was that had set him off, she had the distinct feeling that he had meant it when he said he never wanted to see her again.

Well... he hadn't _quite_ said it like that, she mused. Semantics, sure, but what he had actually said was that now _she_ didn't have to see him ever again. She knew, because she'd been replaying that messy interaction over and over in her mind since last afternoon, plagued by regret. So... maybe there was still hope?

The girl mustered up a smile that could very well have been a grimace, clinging to that small shred. Best to just get this over with... "And I meant it too. I'm going to at least try. You don't... er... happen to have Mamoru-san's number, do you?"

God, this was going to be all kinds of awful.

* * *

Mamoru paced restlessly, dodging a haphazard scattering of books across the floor that was very unlike him. He was usually an impeccably neat person, finding solace in a clean apartment for in his opinion, a tidy living space lent to a tidy mind space. It was a testament to just how badly yesterday's altercation with Usagi had shaken him, that he barely saw these volumes as he wore a steady hole into his carpet, back and forth, back and forth. There was only one clear image in his mind right now, and it wore golden odango and a murderous expression.

He cringed for what was probably the umpteenth time, chagrined by the memory of Usagi's temper as it had flashed in her otherwise vacant blue eyes, feeling stupid for having let his smart ass comments get the best of him and wondering if he was even cut out to be a doctor after all. He shouldn't have let his emotions get in the way - that was the number one rule in the medical field. It was the most detrimental thing you could do in the face of a patient's crisis. What would Dr. Chiryoshi say if he had sat in on their heated interaction?

Mamoru's momentary distraction caused him to stumble over one of the books, and he looked down, vaguely surprised by the mess that surrounded him, vestiges of his late night studies. With a resigned sigh, he bent over and collected the offending item and a few of its companions, eying the titles - everything from _A Tactile World: The Guide to Understanding Blindness_ to _Braille for Dummies_ \- with a frustrated frown in place.

That was when the phone rang.

"Hello, Chiba residence."

There was a long pause, where he thought he could discern quick breathing. The man frowned again, this time in consternation. " _Hello_?" he pressed, louder, ready to lambaste whoever had decided to prank call him. He was _not_ in the mood. If this was Motoki about to ask him if his fridge was running again...

But then, a slightly shaky voice spoke up.

"Mamoru-san...? It's Tsukino Usagi."

Mamoru had to blink a few times as he slowly processed this information, never in a million years having thought he would hear Odango Atama's voice at the other end of his phone. "Um... hello."

The college student wanted to smack himself upside the head... how many times could he say 'hello' in the span of one minute? He searched for something at least marginally more intelligent to say but resurfaced with nothing, mind suddenly blank as a wiped slate thanks to the shock. Well. He supposed if Usagi was reaching out to him, he'd simply let her make the first move.

There was awkward silence and then Usagi exhaled, clearly at as much of a loss as he on how to begin. He could hear her fiddling nervously with something, maybe the cord. "Listen... you... caught me at a rough point yesterday. You were only trying to help... however annoyingly..."

Usagi's darkly grumble almost elicited a snort from Mamoru, but he managed to resist, and let her continue.

"But I jumped down your throat and that was wrong of me. So was insulting your parents. And er... throwing a stuffy at you. So... I'm sorry, and, I think you might have been on to something when you were talking about the five stages of denial thingy, but I'm _trying_ to be better now, I really am and... and... I can't do that without you."

Her jumbled apology sounded a bit grudging at the end, but it was an apology nonetheless, and he could hardly tear into her for it. As reluctant as she sounded, it had still been genuine. He was positive of that. Mamoru sighed - she also wasn't the only one at fault here. He could hardly sit back and accept her expiations while he too bore a guilty conscience.

"Don't give yourself all the credit, Odango. I was being quite a bit of an ass myself. I should've been more careful with your feelings and I _definitely_ shouldn't have given up on you so easily, just because I let my anger get the best of me. I apologize as well."

He was proud of how sincere that came out, when there was still a part of him that felt slighted; hurt. But he supposed it was water under the bridge now, because he had a feeling he knew where this conversation was headed...

"Apology accepted," Usagi said, rather more smugly than he would've liked, but there was also a new lightness to her voice that hadn't been there before. "Er... so now that that's behind us, would you... would you consider taking me back? You don't have to it's just..."

Usagi trailed off, and Mamoru's interest was once again piqued, desperate to know why of all people she had chosen him to be her teacher; had not put up a fight while she still had the chance.

"...well. I don't really have anything better to do today than be irked at your existence, so you may as well make it worthwhile."

This time he couldn't hold back his chortle, surprised by the real humor in Usagi's dig at him. He was already amazed they'd made it this far without screaming at each other and now she was making jokes?

Maybe there _was_ hope for them.

"Alright. We'll give it another shot. But if you start lobbing stuffed animals at me again, all bets are off."

Usagi laughed, and Mamoru realized he hadn't heard that sound in a very long time. He was disconcerted to find it didn't grate on him quite like it used to in the past. He hardly dared to admit it, but there was this strange feeling brewing inside his stomach, almost like he'd _missed_ the sound of her laughter. Ridiculous. He chased it away with clinical ease, reverting into a more professional tone.

"3:30, your house?" he asked, crisply.

Usagi agreed, then bid him goodbye, and thus Mamoru hung up on the strangest phone conversation he'd ever had in his life. The man shook his head, still in disbelief that Tsukino Usagi of all people had dialed his number to personally deliver an apology. He had half a mind to glance outside in search of winged pigs. But now an even weightier concern descended upon him, and that was what the hell was he going to plan in less than three hours for his impending lesson with Odango?

The raven-haired intern muddled internally for a few moments, his eyes flicking about the apartment. They stopped, startled, at his closet door. A sudden brilliant grin tugged at the boundaries of Mamoru's face. He hurried over, the gears in his head beginning to turn even more wildly before, and he reached up to fumble with the accessories that had been stored on the closet's top shelf. He pulled back his hand with a plain black tie clutched victoriously in his fist.

"That's it!"

He gazed at the tie with a self-congratulatory look that quickly morphed into something more solemn as he placed it across his eyes and guided the back into a tight knot - the stab in his heart as his vision went black reminding him he was now seeing the world through Usagi's eyes.

Then he turned and, with outstretched hands, began to walk.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: I'M SO SORRYYYYY. I know it was a long wait, and I profusely apologize, HOWEVER I have a pretty good excuse because I GOT MARRIED :D Four weeks ago to the day! It was the best and biggest moment of my life and I'm still in shock that it's over. What a whirlwind. If you've ever planned a wedding, you know the sort of stress I'm talking about. It was nearly impossible to focus on anything else, but now that I'm a blissfully wedded wife hopefully I will have a little more time on my hands. My poor WIPs deserve some love too!

Stay tuned for next chapter! Any bets on how this next attempt will go? ;)

Edit: In my haste to update this I completelyyy forgot to thank all the many and wonderful reviewers of last chapter! THE SHAME CONTINUES! Heh. My DEEPEST gratitude to the following individuals: **SaturnnFoxx, Guest** (x4) **, phillynz, jessielee14, missmartian369, lisasailor, James Birdsong, ZeroAmada, MyIndy13, NikkiBC, Pia Bartolini, Rufael, Ysheild, SaphireShimmer, TinkStar87, Oreo596, Jenbunny, Daire123, cindermane, karseneau1, Deadly Aura, Layla347, tigerlily124,** and **Princesakarlita411**. Thank you for your support and holding me accountable, without you guys I truly wouldn't be here!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	8. The Garden

Usagi kept busy for the rest of the afternoon, needing the distraction from both her impending lesson and fleeting thoughts of the girls that never failed to send a jolt of pain through her heart. She missed them so horribly and wished she could lament over this lesson with them, but the only one who was not currently terrified of her blindness was Ami. Knowing the kindly erudite, while she would offer an ear, the rest of her efforts would go into encouraging Usagi to be open-minded about Mamoru and to try her best to learn from him, which was not exactly the sympathy the blonde teen was looking for at the moment. Usagi sighed morosely. The wandering around her upstairs, memorizing the angles of the walls and leveling underfoot, helped to stifle her anxieties... for now. But 3:30 came far too quickly, as dreaded obligations are wont to do, and too soon Usagi was listening to the sound of the front door opening and Ikuko practically falling all over herself with greetings. Usagi swallowed thickly, unconsciously rubbing the pad of her finger which had become rough and rippled ever since its brush with the burner. It didn't hurt per se, it just felt funny, and the difference in sensation was helping to steady her like little else.

"Usagiiiiii! Mamoru-san is here!"

Ikuko sounded entirely too chuffed about the whole thing for her daughter's liking, and Usagi frowned in petulance, wishing her mother would quit _fawning_ over the jerk. But she steeled her nerves, overriding that inner annoyance with the determination that had been building inside her all day, and adjusted the straps of her favorite pink overalls. What to wear had been a long and deliberating affair, but Usagi finally settled on the overalls because she figured they would give her the range of motion a skirt or dress wouldn't. The last thing she wanted was to embarrass herself in front of Mamoru... though it was probably inevitable, she amended glumly.

She shuffled to the stairs and carefully eased her way down, one step at a time, hands white-knuckling the railing. It was so much less frightening going up than down. Down, there was a stomach-dropping sense of imbalance in every movement, an unknown awaiting her with every footfall, and definite peril at the bottom should she slip up. But miraculously, Usagi did not trip, and she ambled cautiously into the entryway with a very polite and very fake smile plastered onto her lips.

"Good afternoon, Mamoru-san," she said with a small bow, completely for her mother's benefit. "Thank you for coming."

Ikuko sounded like she was beaming in utter delight as she tacked on, "I'm glad my daughter didn't chase you away yesterday, Mamoru-san. She can have a bit of a temper sometimes, but she has a heart of gold."

Usagi wanted to sink into the floor, gritting her teeth. " _Mama_. Please!"

"What? It's true!"

Mamoru's voice was a model of control as he replied, "It's no problem at all. Like I said, I'm here to help."

Ikuko clapped her hands together. "Well then! I think I'll leave you two to it. Please let me know if you need anything!"

The chipper blunette strolled away to go clamor around in the kitchen, leaving the pair alone in the vestibule, an awkward silence descending in her wake. Despite having been the first to initiate an apology, Usagi truly didn't know what to say now, and she could still feel the lingering tension that festered between them. Speaking over the phone was one thing, but when he was looking her in the face - and when she couldn't see him back, to discern his expression - it was incredibly disconcerting. Mercifully, Mamoru seemed to understand this, and was clearly better prepared than she as he stepped forward with something akin to resolve in his advance.

"You do seem different today, Usagi-san," he commented, quietly. Usagi started at the use of her real name. "It's... well. It's good to see you in better spirits. This isn't going to be easy, and the more positive your outlook the more results we can achieve."

"Er... yes." Usagi was still trying to comprehend the sound of her given name coming from Mamoru, the jerk who never budged an inch when she used to demand it from him before. She could only imagine it was because, despite how loudly her mother was maneuvering about the kitchen, there was a decent chance she was making all the excess noise in a poor attempt to disguise her eavesdropping. The apple didn't exactly fall far from the tree. The younger Tsukino had to quickly batten down her urge to chuckle as hesitantly, she asked, "Is there... anywhere else we could have our lesson? I'm just... feeling really cooped up right now. Fresh air would be a welcome change."

There was a moment where Usagi imagined Mamoru was taken aback, because he didn't respond at first. Then -

"Oh. Well... that could work. Actually... that would work very well. Was there somewhere you had in mind or...?"

Usagi blinked, a vision springing to life, and as soon as it materialized she could not shake the intense desire to be within the comforting safety of its confines, the relaxing breeze and wafting aroma so close to mind she felt as though the next breath would transport her there. Her heart stuttered at the thought of sharing this private oasis with the man who was without question the bane of her existence, but the need for peace and quiet eclipsed all and more than that, she was slightly afraid that if she did not learn how to navigate it now, sightless, she would never learn at all. And then the magic would be gone...

"So there's this place..."

* * *

As Mamoru led Usagi to his car, barely touching her elbow, he had to admit... his interest was piqued.

It wasn't every day you learned about a "secret" garden that sounded like it was straight out of Frances Hodgson Burnett's book. The way Usagi told it, this place had been abandoned for years, a run-down mansion left to the cruel machinations of time. And yet, hidden within the unsuspecting, crumbling old fortress was a sanctuary more alive than ever, boasting all forms of creature and vegetation. He had to wonder how Usagi stumbled across it in the first place, but really, he didn't have to ask. The girl loved nothing more than to stick her nose any place it didn't belong, though - grudgingly - Mamoru wasn't sure he would've been able to resist the temptation either, had he known the undisturbed wonder the mansion was hiding.

He opened the door and was about to assist her into the car when she coolly swatted him away. "I got it, I got it. I'm not an invalid, I do remember how to buckle myself."

Mamoru cocked a brow, the sarcasm heavy in his rebuke. "Please, _do_ forgive me for attempting to be a gentleman."

" _Gentleman_? Ha! My big toe wearing a top hat would still be more of a gentleman than _you_!"

Mamoru was about to holler something about where she could stick her big toe when he took a deep breath, realizing with a rush of dismay how quickly this was beginning to devolve and they'd only just walked out the door. It was way, _way_ too easy for them to fall mindlessly back into their old ways, and wasn't he supposed to be the one taking the high road here, no matter what his patient threw at him? Mamoru closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. When he opened them again, he silently observed the sight of Usagi, arms crossed, having just finished securing herself into the seat. She stared straight ahead, a fiery, fuming expression of dislike etched all across her features and Mamoru saw there the proof of his failures laid bare. He grimaced.

"I'm sorry, Usagi-san. I meant only to help."

She didn't say anything, still affecting her stony glare. Mamoru sighed, shutting the passenger side door and coming around to the driver's. He slid into his own seat and was tangling with the buckle when Usagi spoke up at last.

"Why do you keep calling me Usagi? You're not within earshot of my mother anymore. You don't have to pretend to be nice."

Mamoru shot the blonde a side-eye, noticing that the frown on her face had become more ruminating than angry, now. It amazed him how quickly she could flip the switch, though, he didn't doubt things could turn testy fast, depending on what his response was.

"I thought that's what you wanted to be called?"

"Well... yeah, I guess, but... it's weird."

"Do you _want_ me to call you Odango Atama?" Mamoru was perplexed now, trying to make sense of this girl who, oddly enough, seemed just as confused as he.

"I mean... no! But... you always call me Odango," Usagi pointed out.

Mamoru rubbed his face, exhaustion at this circular conversation threatening to beat him down and leave him bedraggled in a ditch. "Yes, and it doesn't really seem appropriate anymore, given the roles we now find ourselves in. If you haven't noticed, I'm trying very hard to keep the peace between us. It's not an act. There's a professionalism I need to maintain if I'm to do my job properly, a trust that has to be earned between teacher and student, doctor and patient, and... well. I haven't exactly done spectacularly in that regard so far, have I?"

Mamoru tried to hide it, but he couldn't keep the spiraling note of self-condemnation from out of his tone. When Usagi pursed her lips, clearly still thinking on his words, Mamoru looked away and put the car into gear, pulling out of the Tsukino's. He knew roughly where to go thanks to Usagi's description, but he was also going to need more detailed directions soon. The man opened his mouth to inquire along that line of thought, ready for a change in topic, when Usagi spoke first - surprising him.

"Trust is a tricky thing. It has to come from both parties."

Mamoru wasn't used to such wisdoms from the usually ditzy blonde. He gazed at her out of the corner of his eye as he drove, curious at how serious she looked all of a sudden. "It does," he hedged, carefully. "And I know neither of us has really given much reason to trust the other. Quite the opposite. So perhaps... more than trust, what we need right now... is a truce."

"A truce, huh?" Usagi said, slowly.

* * *

Usagi mulled the thought over in her mind, but it seemed almost risible, the idea of the two of them agreeing to get along. She honestly didn't think they were capable, at least not in the long term. Fighting was just... their thing. She didn't know any other way to be around him. But that wasn't to say the possibility didn't have its appeal. It was tiring to always be experiencing such intense emotions around a person, especially when now she already had so much else to be dealing with.

"Maybe," she murmured, rubbing her burnt finger again. She would try... she just didn't think they would succeed. Mamoru could never resist a barb at her expense just as she could never resist an affronted comeback. Somehow, Usagi doubted that that would just cease to happen ever again.

"Um - Cherry Hill intersection. Right or left?"

"Right," Usagi said decisively. The rest of the car ride was mostly her instructing Mamoru, and that was fine, because there was hardly anything to bicker over when they each had their jobs to do. Mamoru appeared to have dropped the matter on trust and truces, instead keeping up a running line of commentary about what they were passing, and Usagi actually found herself feeling grateful - it gave her imagination something to go off of. She knew they had arrived when Mamoru suddenly let out a breathy,

" _Wow_."

A deep pain lanced through Usagi's heart as she realized what he must be admiring, the slate gray cobblestones and crippling steepled roofs against a lush of greenery, a house forgotten as nature rose to reclaim it. She remembered wondering who owned it, and what happened to them.

They got out of the car and the smell of forest immediately assaulted Usagi's nose, that intoxicating combination of sweet pine sap and ancient maple, and she could imagine now the way the trees must be swaying as the wind picked up. It was a long walk to the mansion, down a winding driveway that slowly became more and more wooded as it got closer to the house. Mamoru decided they would walk, just in case his car didn't handle the rough terrain well, he didn't want to stall out too far from the main road. Usagi could tell from the way he spoke that he was one of those guys who cared a lot about their car, which made her want to snicker, until she remembered he owned a frigging Ferrari and suddenly it dawned on her that she _just rode in it_.

Even she had to admit... that was pretty cool.

Mamoru started his sojourn up to the mansion but as Usagi took her first couple steps, she felt immediate fear rush into her limbs. She froze, suddenly unsure how to proceed. The path was a little rocky underfoot and she had no idea where she was going. This absolute blind terror must have shown on her face because Mamoru was by her side at an instant.

"It's okay, Usagi-san. You're okay. I just want you to follow the sound of my footsteps, okay? We're gonna work a little more on honing your sense of hearing but for now I'll walk close and we'll go slow."

Usagi wasn't entirely convinced yet, and she gasped, "But what if I were to wander off into the woods, I wouldn't even know!?"

"First of all, I wouldn't let that happen. But come - feel." Mamoru gently grasped Usagi's elbow and led her over a few paces. "Rub your feet over the ground, feel the difference in texture. That's grass. You'll soon learn to pay rapt attention to your surroundings and infer your location from all the other senses you possess, and as Chiryoshi-sensei said, they'll only grow stronger as a result."

They got back onto the path and Mamoru let go of her, which Usagi found with great concern was a disconcerting feeling. She knew rationally that she couldn't just hold onto somebody for the rest of her life, walking where they walked, but the prospect of doing it alone was just so daunting. She tried her best to listen for the sounds of Mamoru's heels clacking against the rocks to judge his trajectory, but there were definitely a few times she tripped over unstable stones or veered wildly off course. It was so much more difficult than she thought. She tried to ignore the insistent welling in her throat and the accompanying desire to just sit down and give up.

Mamoru must have sensed her increasing frustration because he began to fill her ears with inane chatter. It actually helped her gauge his distance.

"This place is incredible. You never see anything like this in the city. How the hell did you find it?"

Usagi could hardly tell him it was as Sailor Moon, after that awful night Nephrite died in Naru's arms. That was definitely the worst moment she'd ever endured as a Senshi. It had hit home for all of them just what they stood to to lose if they failed this war, the goodness that would be stolen from the world, but even more than all of that... Usagi had felt responsible. She knew objectively it hadn't been her fault, Zoisite was the one who cast the youma upon them, but she still felt like she should have been able to do _something_. It was always her who saved the day. Her with the mystic power to heal those affected by the Dark Kingdom. But that night, there had been nothing she could do but watch on as her best friend lost the love of her life. It was horrible, and later, it had been impossible to just go home and carry on as if all was well. When they parted ways, Usagi didn't run to the safety of her bed - she just ran. Ran and ran and ran until her feet ached and her bones wanted to sag with the weariness of it all, the burden of this power she never asked for.

That was when she stumbled across the house and its secret. And somehow - within the sanctuary of its walls and the beauty of its garden, sitting there alone among the flower beds until the sun came up - she found her peace, and the strength to face Naru the following day.

"Erm... my hairdresser lives a little further up the road. Just saw it one day and decided to explore."

She wanted to cringe at the lame explanation, but then again, prevarication had never been her strong suit.

Mamoru seemed to accept her little white lie without a second thought. He made an interested "Hmm"ing noise but then other matters captured his attention, namely, how they were going to _access_ the garden. Usagi quirked her lips, relishing in knowing something he didn't, and the ingenuity of the design. She followed him much as she had on the path to around the back, where she knew the garden was enclosed by a large wall, fifteen feet high and impossible to get a glimpse over. As Sailor Moon she had bounded this obstacle with ease, then once inside discovered the hidden door that a normal human would use. It was carefully shielded on the outside by two large bushes, and looked exactly like the rest of the wall it was a part of. Those who knew it existed, only had to push aside some of the brush to access the handle. When Usagi shared this with Mamoru, he deadpanned,

"And you just _stumbled_ across this in your explorations?"

"Yes."

"Strange girl," the man murmured, and Usagi heard him go rustling about in the bushes, looking for the way in. Usagi allowed herself the smallest smile.

Stranger than he knew.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Hope you guys were paying attention, cause there's a whoooole bunch of plot bunnies dropped in this chapter that we'll be picking up again later ;) What do you think of the mysterious mansion and its garden so far? You may recall it's _briefly_ mentioned in the first chapter by Usagi to Naru but I figured what better place for Usagi and Mamoru to practice in privacy? Hehe... privacy has its perks as you will eventually find out...

PLEASE PLEASE drop me a line, I'm dying to know what you guys think! Hopefully the pacing is alright, it is after all a slow burn and there's much to do before we get into the real action of the story. But I promise, everything will resolve itself in time :) You WILL see the girls again soon!

Much thanks and virtual cookies for those who sent me love last chapter! That's **karseneau1, Roxypockets1, phillynz, Moon Bunny,** and **cindermane**. I love you guys SO MUCH and am immeasurably grateful for your kind words. Every review makes my day and encourages me to update faster :) I like to think I made good time on this one - for once, LOL!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	9. The Wall

They emerged into a clearing so majestic and overgrown and wild that Mamoru paused, needing to just stand and take it all in with awe for a moment. Of course, he had forgotten there was a girl behind him who could not see that he had stopped, and she bumped into his back with an " _Oof_!"

"Sorry, so sorry," Mamoru cringed, reaching out to steady Usagi before she toppled. "That was stupid. I just... wow. I can't believe it. This place is incredible!"

It was very large, surprisingly so, with meandering cooblestone paths that formed into an intricate mandala in the middle. All around, trees of various species rose overhead, but there was a particular abundance of willows that hung like heavy green curtains over the path, embracing hidden alcoves where meditation benches sat. The most impressive to Mamoru though, were the flowers. So many colors, so many different kinds - from violet asters to yellow susans, scarlet sage and white alstroemeria - all in disarray, all fighting over each other to grow, discontent to simply remain in the beds in which they were originally planted.

His eyes continued to rove, next fixating on the back of the weathered grey mansion, and with interest the stained-glass cathedral windows. Another, a picture window massive in size, overlooked a sprawling terrace.

He was insanely jealous of whoever used to own this place, and befuddled why they would've let it fall to ruin.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Usagi whispered, and Mamoru glanced at her. There was a heartbreakingly wistful sheen to her faraway blue eyes.

"Yeah," he swallowed, uncomfortably averting himself, hardly able to bear the pity that stirred within his heart. This place clearly meant something to the odango-headed blonde, and she would never be able to enjoy its full and true beauty again.

In looking away, Mamoru spotted a series of curious designs along the side wall, and his eyes widened as he realized what they were. Then they narrowed, speculatively. These designs had been made via carving tool, but to his observant mind it seemed a much more recent addition than the rest of the property would have him believe.

"Oda- Usagi-san, are you _sure_ no one lives here?"

The aforementioned teen adopted a vaguely annoyed expression. "I mean... it _looked_ awful abandoned the last time I was here."

Mamoru considered for a moment, finally coming to the conclusion that if they _were_ trespassing, they'd soon hear about it, and if not it really was the best place to have their lessons. Here, there was space; there was privacy. As much as he appreciated the open arms the Tsukinos had treated him with thus far, he rather thought their coddling nature had the potential to prove detrimental to Usagi right now. What she needed to progress, she would only find outside the safety of her home. And with that determined, the med student ploughed forward.

"On the far wall, over on your right. There are some inscriptions carved into the brick."

Usagi tilted her head. "Really? I never noticed. I guess I probably wasn't paying much attention before."

He bit back the sassy comment the old spiteful Mamoru would've longed to make in light of that remark, and instead said gently, "It's not too obvious if you're not staring straight at it. But I have an idea. A warm-up lesson, if you will."

He led her to the wall, and placed her hands upon it.

"In these lessons I am going to try to strengthen your other senses, in particular, those of touch and hearing. If you're going to acclimate back into society, you need to be acutely aware of your surroundings. A step ahead of the game," Mamoru said, expounding on what he had explained to her earlier, with a small uptick of the lips. "Part of that is using the sensory information given to infer the bigger picture. The pieces into the puzzle."

"I was doing that a bit earlier," Usagi told him, sounding proud of herself. "At my house. 'Mentally mapping' every room until I had the layout memorized."

Mamoru was a bit surprised; he wasn't sure he would've possessed the same motivation were the tables turned. A grudging admiration burgeoned within him, and he smiled, sort of glad Usagi couldn't witness the affect she was having on him. Heaven forbid!

He guided her appendages to the deep gouges, then quickly let go. With an almost conspiratorial air, he said, "Alright now. Tell me what it is."

"...what?"

"The design!"

Usagi huffed, bringing her hands back to her sides, clenching them into fists. "I can't do that!"

"Of course you can," Mamoru countered, bringing his own to cross against his chest.

"It's - it's too hard, there's too much to try to decipher-"

"You've barely even attempted it."

Usagi made another noise in the back of her throat, but if it was a growl it was one of tortured acquiescence, for she slammed her hands back onto the brick and began to jerkily pass them over the carvings.

"Slower," Mamoru urged, keeping his voice even.

Usagi seemed to draw from his calm, whether consciously or not, and her fingers began to take their time analyzing every minute ridge or change in texture. She frowned. "It's like... lots of little dots... that form into a shape..."

Mamoru nodded eagerly, then realized Usagi couldn't see that. "Yes, but not dots. What's _like_ a dot, when you're making a picture?"

Usagi was quiet for a few seconds, still working her hands feverishly. Then -

"Stars!"

Mamoru could have whooped for joy, but he schooled his excitement, poorly. "And if these are stars..."

Usagi was breathing quickly now, utterly caught up in the thrill of her discovery; of _finally_ feeling like she was making headway in this dark new world of hers. "These are... constellations!"

Mamoru beamed, and didn't even bother trying to disguise it this time. Well now. There was hope yet. She was actually a smart cookie - just hid it behind her laziness. Who knew! "Very very well done, Usagi-san."

Another flicker across the blonde's visage, but he didn't have a chance to dwell on it because now that she knew the theme Usagi was fast unwinding all mystery surrounding these inscriptions. Her fingers never ceased flying over the chiseled stars. "This, this is a lion - Leo? - and... this one... a horse? Or, maybe not, I think it's a human face..."

"Centaurus, actually. You were pretty spot on!"

* * *

And so it went, Usagi gleefully deciphering each carving with an exultant exclamation, though she did still need Mamoru's assistance on which constellation it was. She was certainly no astronomy buff, and it figured he was. But it was such a wonderful feeling, the happiest and most confident she'd felt in days, like maybe she _could_ do this. The future seemed a little less bleak with every correct answer.

It was just like that sadist to go and break her when she was floating at her highest.

The second lesson was to hone hand-eye (or in her case, hand- _ear_ ) coordination. Simple enough in theory, until the practice came into play, and Usagi found herself the target of what she could only assume was a freaking _cat toy_ Mamoru had acquired from God knows where... in fact, she didn't doubt it was his own personal possession, the jerk was definitely a weirdo like that!

Usagi could feel her anger and frustration mounting with every * _BRRRING-POCK!*_ of the noisy little toy careening at her, only to find its mark on her unsuspecting figure in every manner of cruel bodily assault. She located it and flung it back wildly, not even caring if it was in his propinquity, just so sick and tired of this sick and twisted game.

 _She hated him!_

"Usagi-san, c'mon now, you're supposed to listen for it, then try to _catch_ it-"

"That's _rich_ coming from the man _throwing it_ , and _who can see_ , may I add!"

"It's like you're not even trying," Mamoru groused, chucking the toy once more, and - wonder of all wonders - Usagi's face caught it instead of her hands. Right in the eye. Well that was it, Usagi was _done_ , and she threw the offending item at her feet and stomped childishly at it, relishing in the pained squeaks it emitted.

"No! I hate this! You know, I thought you meant it when you said you wanted a truce, but now you're just... just _getting off_ on this, aren't you! It's payback for having thrown the stuffy at you! Isn't it!"

To her consternation, Mamoru barked with laughter, in a way that intimated he was truly amused. Usagi glared darkly towards him, but the fire inside her was beginning to fade as she felt exhaustion creeping in, and she wiped wearily at her sweaty features. "I don't want to do this anymore, Mamoru-san."

Mamoru was still chuckling lightly as she heard him shuffle closer.

"What's so funny?" she snapped. "I said I was done. You got your masochistic fun for the day. I want to go home now."

"While I admit the idea of concocting this silly game as revenge for you wailing me with a stuffed animal is a highly entertaining one, that's not why we're doing this. One more time, Usagi-san. Just one more, and then we'll go home."

Usagi's eyebrow twitched. For a long moment, that was the only part of her that responded. But then slowly - very slowly, like a woman to the gallows - she reached down, plucked up her _freaking cat toy_ assailant and tossed it to Mamoru. He at least had the decency to give her a moment to mentally prepare this time, instead of just line-driving it at her face.

"Listen. _Really listen_ this time. Close your eyes if you have to, if you think it'll help you concentrate. Feel the breeze on your face, what direction it's coming from. The toy's fairly light, it'll tend towards sailing on the current. Try to gauge its trajectory from the sound it makes, and ready your stance as moves closer. You've got this, Usagi-san. Now... catch it!"

She wasn't sure if she just listened better this time, or if because she knew it was the last toss she was more relaxed. Whatever the reason, Usagi found herself paying rapt attention to the * _BRRRINGGG!_ * of the toy, and managed to stick out her palm just as it neared her chest, snagging it clean from the air.

Mamoru hooted and hollered and made generally an abnormal amount of noise, and Usagi couldn't help it, she joined in, so freaking proud of herself and her abilities. "I did it... I DID IT!"

She jumped up and down, ecstatic peals of laughter tearing from her throat.

"That was amazing," Mamoru complimented, and he came to stand beside her. "See what you did? You wouldn't have done that if you hadn't pushed yourself. I'm sorry for maybe seeming like a jerk, but I thought by pushing you'd get better results and... look at you! You killed it today!"

Usagi shook her head with awe, grinning from ear to ear. She gazed in Mamoru's direction with new appreciation, and in a swift movement so as to not give herself the opportunity for second thoughts, she offered Mamoru her hand.

"Alright Chiba. I agree to your truce. But on one condition!"

Mamoru chuckled. "What's that?"

"I get why you want to call me Usagi during lessons and around my family. But I'm not sure how I feel about it still. It's... weird, coming from you. So... I can't believe I'm saying this... but when we're alone, after our lessons, if - if you want to call me Odango... as like, just a _nickname_ , not to be mean! Then... I'll allow it."

There was silence for a beat, then Mamoru replied in a rather stunned voice, "Deal. Odango."

And he grasped up Usagi's proffered hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and a firm shake.

Usagi felt something then - a strange flash of _something_ \- warmth and gold and an emotion she couldn't identify - before her hand was released and her former (that was going to take some getting used to!) archnemesis stepped away. It was with fleeting confusion that she wished him back, but she chased the unusual thought from her mind.

A wall had been brought down within her, and unexpected emotions surged through the broken defenses, overwhelming the girl who had already had such a long and hard-fought day. She longed for the safety and solitude of her bedroom to sort through all that had transpired.

"Ready to go home now?"

"Yeah."

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Ahhh I'm SO curious what you guys thought about this chapter and the progress made, also, what little Easter eggs you might have picked up on ;) There are definitely things we'll be coming back to. Seriously, this story is going to be HUGE, and I'm terribly excited to share all the twists and turns with you! Also I just finished Stranger Things season 3 and it totally may have influenced a scene or two later on, hehe. Anyone else a fan!?

MUCHOS GRACIAS to **tryntee13, lisasailor, Serenity Red Eclipse, Jenbunny, Ruk, Asj Johnson, Wenchster, Millie, Moon Bunny, karseneau1, Guest (x2), missmartian369, Rufael, SaphireShimmer, NikkiBC, Daire123** , and **Xxkirbylover11xX**. Your reviews are my lifeblood!

Next chapter, other important relationships in Usagi's life take the focus ;)

Stay tuned!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	10. The Finger

They chatted idly off and on during the drive back, but for the most part Mamoru noticed Usagi had adopted a quietly contemplative air, and because he had never really known the girl to be so introspective it had his curiosity piqued. Eventually he started trying to subtly manipulate the conversation into what she was pondering so intensely upon, and as luck would have it, she took the bait.

"We have a truce now," Usagi stated, with a decisive finality to her features that alluded to her next words being something monumental. "And you want there to be trust between us too. Well... in my view, people who trust each other often have good cause to, because they know the other person so well they have no doubts about their character."

"Are you suggesting we have a heart-to-heart? Tell each other all our secrets?" Mamoru nearly snorted at the thought of sharing with Tsukino freaking Usagi that he moonlighted as a superhero in a tophat and cape. That he still sported quite the colorful shoulder bruise from his last foray into battle. Oh yes, that would go over well. Like a bull in a china shop. "Because that will _never_ happen."

"I'm aware," Usagi quipped dryly, surprisingly not upset that he wasn't excitedly on board with wherever she was going with this. "So that's why I'm thinking we should start small. Baby steps, right? Something more along the lines of... how about a truth for a truth? We each have the chance to ask a question, just one, and the other has to answer it honestly."

Mamoru mulled that over. It was indeed an intriguing proposition, and he definitely had a query or two just off the top of his mind that he was positively dying to ask the blonde. But there was still the little matter of things best left untouched...

"Yeah, I'll bite. But only on the condition that we throw in a, erm, discretion clause. If a question is posed that - for reasons of discomfort or even personal safety - cannot be answered, the other will drop it in exchange for another."

"Agreed," Usagi said, even sounding a bit relieved. Mamoru gave her a funny look, wondering what on earth transparent Tsukino would ever need to hide from anyone. That she once aced a test with flying colors? He fought the urge to snicker. "Who goes first?"

"You can," Usagi replied politely.

"You're too kind," Mamoru retorted playfully, and he blinked when he realized that being playful with Odango Atama was suddenly starting to come _naturally_ to him. Weird. He usually only showed this side of himself to Motoki.

Mamoru side-eyed the blonde, who was sitting quietly in her seat, hands folded in her lap. She was gazing out the front windshield, the lights of cars flashing hypnotically past her vibrant but eerily unmoving blue irises, and Mamoru wondered if he should ask that which had been nagging at him ever since they began these lessons. He decided to throw caution to the wind. It's not like _she_ wouldn't send a hard-hitting question his way when her turn came up next!

"Why did you agree to work with me? You hate my guts and it's not like you didn't have a choice. You could have said no," Mamoru pointed out, feeling the familiar confusion as he recalled that first meeting in her hospital room.

Usagi sighed. "I'm sure part of it was not wanting to cause a scene and embarrass myself in front of my family. But really..." Twin spots of red appeared, high on her cheeks. "Really, I guess... deep down... I wanted to prove myself to you. To show you I'm more than just a stupid, ditzy, silly girl."

The expression on her face was so genuine, so vulnerable, that Mamoru rushed to assure her, "I don't think that!" The look he was given in return was so disbelieving it was almost comical, and he was forced to amend, "Okay... _anymore_."

Usagi smiled a bit at that. "Well if it's any consolation I used to think you were the worst person in the world. Now... I guess I can move you down to second place."

Mamoru gaped at her, at the teasing sparkle in her blue eyes that he'd never seen before, until he realized they were going to get into an accident if he didn't start paying more attention to the road. He wondered with a touch of marvel if she'd always been this entertaining, and he just blinded himself to her better qualities upon encountering her more frustrating few. It was with a flood of shame that he realized he probably had. As book smart as he was, Mamoru was still woefully deficient in the art of making friends. He had a tendency to close himself off to all but those he could connect to on a purely intellectual level, because those were the easiest - the least stressful - relationships to maintain.

He was beginning to wonder if he had missed out, all these years.

"Second, huh? Who on earth takes first!?"

"Ah ah," Usagi waggled her index at him. "You had your question! It's my turn now."

Mamoru settled back in his seat, resisting the urge to huff. He watched the seriousness slide back onto Usagi's features and she seemed to be deliberating with herself. He felt his nerves kick in. "Go on then, Odango, do your worst."

"Well... I've just been thinking a lot... and you can tell me if I'm out of line here, but... you were _really_ upset when we had that fight yesterday. More than you've ever been with me. And I just want to know if, if I said something I shouldn't have? I'd kind of like to know so I can avoid it in future," Usagi said, with a conciliatory grimace.

Whatever Mamoru thought she was going to ask, it wasn't that. He felt off-kilter, thrown into territory he didn't generally enjoy treading, and especially not with others. He half considered telling her she _was_ out of line, but... something held him back. Maybe it was all the crap he put her through today, but she deserved better than an immediate shutdown; to know why her comments had sliced him so. He took a deep breath.

"You said my parents must be so ashamed of me. Of what an ass I am." Usagi cringed at the words, perfect recollection evident by the fresh regret on her face, but she let him go on without a sound. "Well... the truth is... I don't know _what_ they think of me. And it's something that often haunts me, that _not knowing_. See they died when I was really small, and the car accident that killed them, I was in it too. I received a head injury, and when I woke up I had pretty bad amnesia for a while. Bits and pieces came back over the years, very slowly, but I still... I still barely remember them at all."

Mamoru was alarmed at how choked and hoarse his voice was becoming, and he endeavored to tamp down on his emotions, shove them back into the box where they belonged. Dredging up the past and all its sordid details never failed to rattle his normally unflappable composure, and Mamoru _hated_ that, hated the way it made him feel so unprotected and weak. He didn't trust people not to use that against him, not since the days of the orphanage, and so it was with underlying firmness that Mamoru declared,

"Anyway, you couldn't have known that, so no hard feelings. What's done is done, and that's all I'll say on the matter."

* * *

Usagi was stricken.

If there was ever a time she wished she could eat her words, turn back time, give herself a good hard slap... it was now.

She felt _horrible_ , so completely disappointed in herself. Mamoru was right, obviously she couldn't have known, but that didn't make her outburst - her cruel insinuations - any more justified.

The blonde bit her lip, the urge to peek at Mamoru from out of the corner of her eye there like a habit of old, but it would've been no use. She had no idea what expression he wore; whether he was angry or sullen or resigned or calm. He had carefully schooled his voice, trying hard to hide whatever it was he was feeling. She longed to inquire further, to discover more about the man now that he had just dropped this bombshell about his life, because she realized then how very little she truly knew about him. But Usagi could tell Mamoru would not appreciate if she badgered him when the conversation was so clearly over, and so she wisely stayed mum in her respective seat.

The rest of the ride home was a rather awkward one, silence stretching between them, but it was not exactly of the uncomfortable variety. They each had much to muse over, so much having been uncovered about the other. A resolve was growing within Usagi then, an intense desire to unravel the enigma that was Chiba Mamoru, and unbeknownst to her the eighteen-year-old beside her was having similar thoughts.

She extricated herself from the car upon arriving at the Tsukino residence with an emboldened air.

"Thank you for everything, Mamoru-san. I learned a lot." _Far more than she expected to_. "Same time tomorrow, then?"

"Definitely. Do you need a hand or anything?"

"No, I'm alright," Usagi replied graciously. She dipped into a farewell bow then skittered off, mindful this time of the uneven pavement underfoot. She _was_ getting better at this, she realized with a grin. Her good cheer was immediate to all when she entered the domicile, and Kenji - who had missed the steady change in her demeanor while at work - was the first to comment upon it.

"Well well. Someone looks mighty proud of herself!"

Usagi launched into an excited recap of her day, and she could practically feel the glow from her parents as they huddled around her, pressing for every minute detail. She happily complied, though of course left out the rather more personal interactions she'd shared with Mamoru and - she wasn't sure why - but she also prevaricated when it came to the location of their lesson. She told them it was the park, which is what she would tell Luna when the cat would ask later. Maybe it was that she didn't want to lose the garden - its complete secrecy from the world gave a feeling of almost _belonging_ , first to her and now to her and Mamoru. To tell would be like a betrayal. And in the same vein... she feared being forbidden from going back there, the impression that a man and a woman alone in a private place would have on her guardians. There was nothing salacious going on, that was just so... ew... but she would never be able to convince her parents that. So she crowed and beamed and touted her accomplishments, revealing only what would bring them the most joy, and it seemed they were just as over the moon at her progress as she. When Kenji kissed her, Usagi swore she felt a lingering dampness where his cheek had brushed hers.

"My girl. Knew you could do it if you put your mind to it. You'll be a force to be reckoned with very soon, I can tell!"

Usagi giggled. "A smelly force, that's for sure. I'm off to run a bath!"

"Make sure you really get under your nails, they're filthy," Ikuko clucked, inspecting Usagi's fingers as only a mother would. She too pecked Usagi on the cheek. "I fear it's a problem you're always going to have now, dear."

Usagi rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mama."

oOo

"And then we called a truce. Can you believe it? _Us_. A _truce_!"

"I'm currently waiting for the world to implode around me," Luna chuckled, from her perch alongside the tub. "So then what?"

Usagi cackled as rinsed out her hair and explained about Mamoru's cat toy, half wondering if next time she should snag it for Luna's entertainment. But the black-furred feline had other theories, less about Mamoru's proclivities and more about Usagi's unexpected adeptness with the toy.

"That's amazing, Usagi-chan. Catching it out of thin air like that... Mamoru-san says it was your other senses at work? Could be. But I wonder too if it wasn't latent Senshi ability."

Usagi leaned forward eagerly. "What, like new powers?"

"More like, abilities you already possessed, now coming to the surface. I would surmise they operate much like your other senses. When one is cut off, the others grow stronger. So what's to say your powers aren't increasing as a result? You always had a knack for sensing danger, and wicked aim with the tiara. I just wonder if this 'awareness' you spoke of isn't more magical than medical."

Usagi had a lot to think about at that proclamation, so she turned her focus to scrubbing out her fingernails, brain teeming with the possibilities. She supposed it was altogether likely. In fact, she _had_ noticed that when Luna was around, she had an unexplained capability to sense where the cat was. She remembered her first night home, and how Luna had kept vigil by the window. Usagi shouldn't have known that, but she did, and now with Luna's theory perhaps there was a reason. But if her powers were increasing, would that mean that one day, maybe - just maybe - she could be Sailor Moon again? It was a fierce and aching hope that pierced Usagi's heart, and she felt it begin to beat very fast in response. Granted, being blind was a _huge_ setback, and she wasn't quite sure how she was going to dodge a youma's attack if she couldn't very well see it coming, but -

Usagi froze, all racing thoughts of taking back up her mantle coming to a sudden and screeching halt.

In her ministrations to her nails, she had rubbed across her burnt finger. Only...

It wasn't burnt anymore.

The skin was smooth, utterly and completely smooth as it had been before she had the mishap in the kitchen, no puckering or blister to speak of. But there was _no way_. No way it should have healed this quickly.

How was this possible?

Usagi expelled a shaky breath, still fussing with the strangely unburnt finger when Luna's concerned meow captured her attention.

"What's wrong, Usagi-chan?"

"I... nothing. I'm getting out now."

oOo

Usagi was still pondering intensely over her finger as she sat on her bed blow-drying out her hair, everything from more 'latent Senshi power' to her own sometimes overactive imagination passing through her mind as explanation. She probably would have continued on this train of thought for an hour to come were it not for her Mama rapping at the door, bearing news of a visitor here to see her. The smile was heavy in her voice even through the wood, and when the door opened to reveal the newcomer Usagi's smell took over where her eyes failed.

She would have pinpointed the intoxicating scent of fresh flowers and baking bread anywhere.

" _Mako-chan_!"

Footsteps wasted no time in barreling into the room, just as surely as a warm body much larger than her own collided with Usagi's figure, nearly unsettling her. She held tight to the shaking girl, petting down her hair, hearing belatedly the door close softly as Ikuko gave the two friends their privacy. Usagi smiled in pure delight, none of her anger from before leaking through as she whispered, "I missed you so much!"

"I know," Makoto moaned, sniffling. "I know you did. I missed you so much too, and I'm sorry, I'm so _so_ sorry. I abandoned you when you needed me most. I'm just... I'm an idiot. A _total idiot_. I realized that today after the twelfth walk past your house, that I had to stop being so selfish and afraid and _just do it_. I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I really am. I just..."

Usagi shook her head, the gesture placating. "I get it. It's really scary. I still don't want to believe it myself."

Makoto pulled back a bit, presumably to gaze more fully at Usagi, and she wished for the hundredth time to be able to return the favor. She missed the love and gentleness she always found in Makoto's verdant green eyes. "It made me feel like we were just kids playing in an adult's war, you know? And after... it happened... and I went to visit you in the hospital, with all your bandages and knowing you'd soon wake up and discover your fate..." There was a noise and a puff of air, like she blew the bangs from off her forehead. Makoto's not-so-obvious tell of frustration. "Well, it just kinda seemed like we'd... lost."

Usagi's hand shot out and she grasped onto the first part of Makoto she encountered; her arm. She gave it a reassuring squeeze.

The taller girl continued, "Anyway, I moped in that mindset for quite a while before I finally pulled out of it. Ever heard of the five stages of grief?"

There was a definite ring of irony in Usagi's response. Why yes, yes she had.

"I was pretty damn stuck in denial. But, Rei-chan... Rei-chan can't seem to get past the angry. Not at you, just... the situation. How she wasn't able to protect you. I went to see her before coming here. She wouldn't even let me in. Grandpa told me she's working herself half to death, even refusing to eat," Makoto confided, the fear and concern leaking through into her voice. Similar emotions were wakening in Usagi. "I wanted to come here to apologize, but also to see if you'll come with me to talk some sense into her. I think... I think if she sees you, really sees that you're pulling through and not laying down giving up, it'll shake her to do the same. Will you? Will you come with me, Usagi-chan?"

The desperation was in her request but it came through even more prominently in the way Makoto clutched Usagi's hand for dear life. And for the first time, Usagi felt like the leader again - the glue that held their group together. Her determined eyes pinned the thunder warrior, the ghost of a smile dancing on her lips.

"What on earth are we still doing here then? Let's get to the shrine."

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: One Senshi reunion down, one to go! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Truth for a truth was fun... we may see it again ;) Did you notice the call-out to ep 34? Many scenes from the Rainbow Crystals arc will make their way into this story, if not a bit mixed up in their order. But we'll hit on just about every major episode as the story progresses. I'm also dying to know your theories about what caused Usagi's mysterious healing... All I gotta say is pay attention hehe!

Thank you to those wonderful people who sent me a review last chapter! That's **karseneau1, Moon Bunny, Serenity Red Eclipse, Asj Johnson, Ruk, Jenbunny, Daire123, Mimi, JBubbles, Aya Faulkner,** and **NikkiBC**. MWAH, love you all!

Until next time,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	11. The Locket

Makoto held Usagi's hand the entire way. She really didn't need to, Usagi was pretty sure she could have navigated at least some of the walk on her own - goodness knows she'd made the journey often enough - but it was kind of sweet. They discussed Rei and how best to approach the sometimes prickly shrine maiden, but also the latest junior high gossip and how Usagi's lessons with Mamoru were going. Makoto could hardly believe the pair hadn't killed each other yet, let alone declared a truce.

"Of all the things I never thought I'd live to see," the brunette chortled, something like awe dancing in her tone. "If you can win over _Chiba Mamoru_ , Rei-chan is putty in your hands!"

"I hope so," Usagi said, then grumbled, "He's better... but he's still a jerk though."

"Well, some people never lose that endearing quality," Makoto rolled her eyes. "Ah, and speaking of..."

"You see her?" Usagi giggled.

"Yeah, and she doesn't look too happy to see us," Makoto sighed, squeezing Usagi's hand for reassurance. She began to lead the girl up the shrine's stairs. Usagi had never realized before just how numerous they were. She was almost out of breath by the time they arrived at the top. Definitely a sign to work out more...

"Hey Rei-chan!"

Rei sounded taken aback. "U-Usagi! Mako-chan. I... I told Ojii-chan no visitors today."

There was a thread of uncertainty in her acerbic greeting that Usagi clung to. She released Makoto and took a ginger step forward.

"Don't be stupid, Rei-chan," she said, all affection and no bite. "We're not visitors. We're your best friends!"

"And some best friend I am," Rei snarled in a voice that was unmistakably strangled with some deeper emotion. "Couldn't even... _argh_!" There was a clatter like she had tossed aside her sweeping broom. "Go home, Usagi. Please. I can't see you right now!"

The tremor in her plea belied the fury with which Rei stalked off, leaving Usagi and Makoto standing there like put-out children. Makoto was especially uncertain.

"Maybe we should. She's clearly in a mood-"

"She's always in a mood. Come on," Usagi said firmly, and she fumbled for the other girl's hand. Makoto understood her unspoken summons and guided the determined blonde towards the direction Rei fled to. It didn't take them long to find their wayward friend - the cracked bedroom door an obvious clue. But Makoto drew back as they approached.

"This is really more a conversation between you and her. So I'm going to wait out here, okay?"

Usagi nodded. She ran her fingers over the grain of the wood and felt it give under her gentle pressure. It creaked anciently inward.

"Rei-chan?"

Stony silence met her greeting, but Usagi was not deterred. She carefully shut the door behind her and moved forward, into the center of the room. She wasn't exactly sure where to look, but sensed somehow that Rei was huddled on the bed, and so she settled her attention upon that general area.

"I can't," she opened with. A fish hook if she'd ever cast one. It had the intended effect; it garnered a response - albeit one of confusion.

"You can't what?" Rei whispered.

"Leave you alone," Usagi answered, simply. She shuffled a little closer, close enough to hear the tiny scoff Rei made in the back of her throat.

"Oh yeah?" she countered, bitterly. "It wasn't that hard for me, was it? Leaving _you_ alone." The self-recrimination was almost as strong as the tears in her voice. "I _failed_ you, Usagi! I'm supposed to protect you! And instead that... that _thing_..."

"That wasn't your fault," Usagi entreated, aching at the memory; at Rei's internal blame.

"I should have been faster! I should have gotten to you sooner!" Rei lashed out. "You should hate me. I've done nothing but let you down since that day!"

"Now you listen here, Hino Rei!" Usagi exclaimed, fiercely enough that Rei's jaw snapped shut, the noise like a startled crack. "What I did was _stupid_. I lured the enemy away from battle knowing it was going to come after me. _Knowing_ the danger I'd be in. If anything the blames lies with me. But I _don't_ blame myself, and nor should you. In fact I don't even blame that dumb monster! It's the Dark Kingdom who sent it. The Dark Kingdom who's terrorizing our city and the Dark Kingdom who we have to stop. They are pure evil, full of hate for our world. Are we any better if we give in to hate ourselves? We're only as strong as we are together. So whatever you think you did, I forgive you. And you should too, Rei-chan."

Usagi knelt down and reached for the bed, feeling around the plush coverlet until she encountered a hand, tightly fisted into the sheets. The vice-grip the priestess had on it clearly wasn't doing much good - she was still trembling like a leaf in a storm. Usagi squeezed right back.

"It's just not fair," the raven-haired teen choked out. "I just wish... It shouldn't have... of all the people, why you?"

"I know," Usagi said quietly, feeling so deeply inside herself all the things Rei was saying, and not saying. Her own eyes burned, begging to join in on the party but woefully unable.

"I would have stopped it. _I would've_."

"I know."

"I'm just _so sorry_."

"Me too."

"Why are you sorry, dummy!?"

Usagi smiled at the flicker of playfulness, finally returned within the shallows of Rei's gibe. _There_ was the snarky old fire warrior she knew and loved! (Most of the time...)

"I dunno. Just seems like a day for it."

"You're an idiot, Tsukino Usagi... Never change."

And for the first time that she could ever remember, _Rei_ hugged _her_ , a sudden, breathtaking kind of embrace that Usagi fairly melted into, so happy was she to be back on familiar ground with her favorite shrine maiden. Rei let out a marveling sort of chuckle. "And you are _not_ allowed to tell a soul about this. Got it?"

"I know, I know. Scary, mysterious reputation to uphold!"

"Ah hell. What am I saying. Get in here, Mako-chan!"

The door suddenly burst open as if the person had been lingering just on the other side, or - more likely - eavesdropping. Makoto piled onto their impromptu group hug with a teasing,

"Now this is more like it!"

They laughed and the sound of their joy filled the room, but as with all good things it was slowly drowned out by something less wonderful, more foreboding -

The beeping of their communicators. Usagi leaned back onto her heels frowning as she listened to Makoto and Rei sign on.

"Ami-chan, what's up?"

Ami sounded out of breath as she answered, undoubtedly already on the run. "The Moon Stick is going haywire! I'm tracking it to what looks like a building construction zone-"

She gasped and stuttered to a halt, voice dropping exponentially. "Zoisite's here with his black crystal! And a woman I don't recognize... This can't be good. Sending the coordinates now!"

Rei turned on Makoto as the communicators began to update with a series of numbers. "Mako-chan. You take Usagi home. I'll help Ami-chan hold them off until you can join us!"

Usagi was still sitting there numbly as she listened to her friends plan the battle around her. For all her rabble-rousing to Rei about the Dark Kingdom, it still brought pure terror to her heart to think about them fighting without the advantage of her properly operated Moon Stick. Instead they were going to throw all their powers into the rod and let it act as conduit, significantly weakening them in the process. She was so afraid of what that meant; so lost in her own worst thoughts that she barely registered when Makoto eased her off the floor and spirited her home, all the while making placating reassurances that Usagi could tell she herself didn't quite believe.

"Please be safe, Mako-chan," the odango-headed blonde begged, after she was deposited upon her doorstep.

"Oh, you know me. Always am!" the other girl chirruped with too much false bravado.

It didn't leave Usagi with any more confidence than before, and when she came back into the house to the overwhelming smells of dinner she forewent the kitchen and her family entirely and slipped back upstairs, hoping they'd think her to still be at Rei's. She just didn't feel like interacting with anyone right now, and the worry for her Senshi left no room for an appetite in her painfully constricted stomach. She went right to her desk and plopped down, burying her head in her hands.

 _What if this time, it didn't work?_

 _What if the Dark Kingdom eventually found out, and began purposefully sending youma after youma to ensure they hadn't time to recover_?

All these fears and more swirled around in Usagi's brain, too loud for her to concentrate on anything else. Luna would have provided a distraction, but she too had gone to assist in the battle. It helped a little to know that her guardian was going to be watching over the Senshi as well - for all her nagging she was a wealth of advice and strategy - but that also meant Usagi had to fend for herself. She scrubbed at her face and moaned, just scared scared scared. But then the solution hit her, and she wondered fleetingly why she hadn't thought of it before.

Of course. The locket! It always calmed her down.

Usagi rummaged around in her drawers until she found the item in all its star-shaped glory, the metal still as smooth and shiny and soothing to the touch as she remembered it. She smiled, holding it close to her heart, returning to the desk with already far less anguish than before. There was just something very special about this mysterious object, and not just because it belonged to Tuxedo Kamen. Some unnameable feeling would grab hold of her when she listened to the tinkling melody within, like... like _home_ and _happiness_ and _warmth_ all rolled into one. She flicked open the clasp and then it played, that haunting song that she swore she'd heard before, just couldn't put her finger on when or where. She laid her head down next to it and closed her eyes, the locket lulling her into a comforting sense of peace at last.

Her last thought before drifting off to sleep was wondering if Tuxedo Kamen was worried about her, too...

* * *

The next day found Mamoru and Usagi back in the garden, but neither seemed to have their 'head in the game'. Usagi was distracted, more so than usual, and it was both irritating and unnerving to Mamoru who himself felt the creeping strain of exhaustion and pain at all times.

Yesterday night had been a doozy. First there was the fact that his best friend's girlfriend had been the target of Zoisite's latest scheme, and who ever would have thought that sweet, science-loving Reika was one of the Seven Great Monsters? With vicious aim to boot... he had definitely re-injured his shoulder, there was no doubt about it. The area was sorely inflamed and tender to the touch, and it had been all he could do not to yelp when Usagi accidentally bumped into it in the midst of their lesson. She had given him a strange look when he let escape a muffled hiss, but mercifully didn't ask questions.

Then there was the unexplained absence of Sailor Moon. He didn't understand it... she was at every battle. Every. Single. One. And suddenly she had to decided to what, call in sick? The Senshi hadn't seemed at all flustered by the lack of their leader, and so he even began to wonder if there had been a falling out...

He tried not to think about the disappointment that had fluttered in his gut, when he realized he wouldn't be seeing the boisterous blonde heroine that day.

The battle had been long and hard-fought, but somehow... providence smiled upon him. He ended up with the blue Rainbow Crystal, and it had been an opportunity he wasn't willing to squander. Ignoring Zoisite's fury and Reika's plight, he had fled immediately after, praying that Sailors Mercury, Mars and Jupiter were strong enough to finish it without him. It bothered his conscience to no end to have to sow those seeds of mistrust among women who should have been his allies - they seemed to be working against the same enemy after all - but he simply knew too little about them. He wasn't willing to offer blind faith when it had too often been used against him; he had a mission to fulfill and as far as he knew his and the Senshi's ultimate goals did not align. The only one he _may_ have placed at least some trust in was Sailor Moon, but even she was a mystery he did not know how to begin to unravel. All he knew was that she felt familiar to him; like there was a connection there he should understand but didn't; a need to protect her at all costs that was almost as powerful as his need to do the dream princess' bidding. Almost enough to give it all up and surrender the two crystals he now possessed to the well-meaning Senshi.

 _Almost_.

Mamoru shook his head, trying to clear it of last night's events to focus on the task at hand. Usagi herself seemed to be in her own little world, fingers rubbing unconsciously at the fabric of her collar, eyes a million miles away. Mamoru sighed loudly.

"Usagi-san... Maybe we should call it a day."

Usagi started, resurfacing from reverie with a, "No! I want to keep going. Sorry, I'll pay better attention, I promise!"

Mamoru didn't have the heart to scold her when he himself had been letting his mind wander. So he just brushed the apology off entirely. "I was thinking next we could work more on improving your tracking of sound. I'll hide, give a clap, and you'll need to locate where the clap originated from."

"So... you want to play hide-and-seek with me," Usagi deadpanned, a cheshire grin stretching out the corners of her cheeks. Mamoru grimaced, knowing the way it sounded.

"Well we're not just _playing_. It's not about _finding me_. It's about honing your auditory sense which is rather crucial when you lack the ability to see."

"Uh-huh. Okay," Usagi snickered, and Mamoru rolled his eyes. He grumpily stormed off until remembering he'd need to be a lot quieter if he wanted to make Usagi really have to work for this. He settled himself in the middle of a small copse of Bonsai trees before reaching out and swiftly bringing his hands together. He cringed at the reverberations that immediately afterward accosted his shoulder.

Usagi proved an amazingly fast study.

Everywhere he went, no matter how far or how well hidden, she sought him out, unfailing in her search. It was often only seconds, not even minutes, before she accurately determined from which part of the garden he'd clapped. It was almost ridiculous really, and he finally felt exasperated enough to tell her such.

" _How_ are you finding me this quickly!?"

Usagi shrugged, the picture of nonchalance. "You're noisy."

Mamoru eyed her with heavy disbelief, feeling a bit like maybe she wasn't being truthful with him. But he didn't push the issue, and instead tried on their next go-around to make as absolutely, positively little noise as he possibly could, avoiding anything that might crunch underfoot, even going so far as to hold his freaking breath. And still...

She headed right for him.

"Seriously!?"

Usagi donned a triumphant smirk, but for all her appearances of success she completely missed the bulging tree root, and the girl went flying. Mamoru wasted no time rushing to her side.

"Odango!" he cried, completely forgetting to use her first name like he'd been doing all lesson. "Are you alright?"

Usagi sat up, wincing as she wiped at her dirtied knees and hands, looking more embarassed than anything. "Yeah," she sighed.

Mamoru crouched down beside her, reaching out to grasp her upper arm and help tug her back onto her feet - when he froze. Eyes stuck on the gold chain and the star-shaped locket that shimmered in the afternoon sunlight, having dislodged from beneath her shirt when Usagi tripped.

"What... _where did you get that_?" he demanded, sharply.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: DUN DUN DAAA! Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did! It was a fun chapter to write! Sometimes the words just flow with no effort at all and this was one of those times :) Next chapter will very closely follow on the heels of this one and I already have it planned out, now to get it on paper! Or... FF document manager... LOL!

It would make my day to hear what y'all thought! And on that note thank you so very much to everyone who left feedback last time: **Ruk, Moon Bunny, Serenity Red Eclipse, phillynz, Daire123, Jenbunny, lisasailor, karseneau1, missmartian369, NikkiBC, Deadly Aura,** and **Rufael**. CANNOT give you readers enough love, you truly are the reason I write!

MWAH!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	12. The Newspaper

Usagi was getting really tired of these curveballs today was dealing her.

She was already overwrought to begin with, having slept poorly thanks to her worrying over the girls, and even when she finally heard from Ami it did little to allay her fears. If anything, Ami's atypically curt "We're okay" over the communicator's text messaging system earlier this morning sounded purposefully evasive, and Luna still hadn't come home to assure Usagi otherwise before she was picked up by Mamoru for their next lesson.

That was when the first oddity occurred.

When she stepped out the door to greet Mamoru, she nearly fell plumb backwards onto the cold cement stairs. Not because she tripped, but because right there - in the middle of her normally blacker than night vision - was the merest pinprick of _gold_. There was no denying it... she was seeing a _color_. Usagi would have started rejoicing then and there, the pure and overwhelming hope so strong inside her, but something held her back... and she asked Mamoru, somehow maintaining a tenuous grip on composure, what clothes he was wearing. Because she was sure, so sure, she was looking right at the place where he was standing.

It was him. It _had_ to be him.

But he had answered with a tone of bemusement that it was a light blue button up with black jeans and a matching undershirt, and Usagi had frowned, not a stitch about that attire screaming gold to her. And she knew for a fact Mamoru was not the jewelry touting type. So... what the hell was going on? _What_ was she seeing?

Everywhere Mamoru moved, the little flicker moved as well. She'd tried not to stare too obviously; in fact she spent much of their beginning time together attempting to look anywhere but. Trying to distract herself with other thoughts; with the locket she'd tucked beneath the collar of her shirt when she'd woken up still so full of fear for her friends. But even the cool, normally calming metal against her skin just wasn't enough. In a world of darkness, the small bit of light leaking through naturally attracted attention. It finally got to the point during their impromptu game of hide and seek - there was _no way_ Mamoru was going to convince her it was anything else - that Usagi started utilizing, without even realizing, that glint of gold in her attempts to track him. Not until he pointed out her uncanny ability to always find him, every time.

"You're noisy," she'd lied, with a shrug. Brain racing with wonder and confusion and triumph and concern. So many questions she couldn't even begin to ponder until she was finally away from his annoyingly observant eyes.

But the curveballs continued and the limelight remained, much to her consternation, its focus only shifting once she took her unexpected tumble and Mamoru saw the locket.

"What... _where did you get that_?" he demanded, the query far more accusing than necessary. As if doubting she could come to possess such nice jewelry. Usagi's hackles were immediately raised.

"Well I didn't steal it, if that's what you're implying!" she retorted, brows crinkling in an angry, obfuscated line straight across her forehead.

Mamoru seemed to be struggling wordlessly, Usagi sensed a quiet tension in the air, but his voice became that tightly controlled mask that concealed whatever his true emotions were. "I wasn't implying anything, I'm... just curious," he said, far too blandly. Usagi still felt like she were on trial for something, but with herculean effort - _if he plays nice I'll play nice_ \- she reigned in her temper. Maybe it was just the heat of the moment getting to them; the result of a long afternoon between two tired people. She still remembered that strange hiss he'd made when she bumped into him, like she accidentally brushed a sore spot, and she had definitely noticed from the get go that he seemed... off, today.

"It's mine. Well... I guess in a secondhand kinda way. I found it in the cemetery when..." Oh god. Look at her, mindlessly babbling, about to just casually tell Chiba freaking Mamoru about the time she fought a priest turned youma. Hurriedly rushing to cover her near-slip, Usagi mumbled, "My friend Naru-chan, she knew someone who passed away recently and she wanted to er, visit his grave. And I found the locket on the ground and we couldn't tell who it belonged to, so... I kept it."

"Oh," was all Mamoru said. Still sounding like Mr. Brick Wall. Usagi cocked her head at him, a sudden possibility striking her -

"Wait... do _you_ know who this locket belongs to?"

Her heartbeat began to race against her will, and she tried to hide the potent combination of excitement and horror, that _what if_ -

"Not at all," Mamoru responded smoothly. "I just thought... it's very unique looking. Pretty... on you."

Usagi wanted to shake her head at herself, the star shaped locket indeed a conversation piece that would give anyone pause. So stupid she ever would have thought even for a hair's breadth of a second that Mamoru would have _known_ Tuxedo Kamen. It was preposterous. Her kind, chivalrous Tuxedo Kamen-sama would never associate with a jerk like Mamoru.

Though... a tiny little part of herself had to admit, it maybe wasn't fair to refer to him like that anymore. Mamoru wasn't anywhere near as much of a jerk as he used to be. Memories of his recent behavior filled her mind, the unwavering encouragements and the solicitous manner in which he would jump to her side, any and every time she fell.

She touched the locket reflectively, accepting his arm up.

He thought it was pretty on her...?

* * *

Usagi had his locket.

 _Usagi_.

How. The hell.

 _Of all people..._?

Mamoru fairly stalked through the lobby of Azabu Apartments, his head down and countenance stormy, signaling to all to clear a wide berth. His gait remained single-minded as he slid unseeingly into the elevator and punched the button for the topmost floor, one of the few perks he'd allowed himself upon turning eighteen and coming into his inheritance. Well, that and the Ferrari. But he refused to let his mind stray much beyond its current predicament -

Tsukino Usagi had _his locket._

Surely fate had a twisted sense of humor. He loses it in battle only for it to reappear round the neck of the woman who, once upon a mere week and a half ago, was one of his least favorite people? C'mon.

He dearly wanted it back; it had great sentimental value to him. But there was really no plausible - no decent - way of going about that, short of stealing it away from the odangoed blonde in the dead of night. And there was _no way_ he'd ever stoop so low. So... apparently it was hers, for now.

He grimaced onerously, and the grimace only grew when he exited into his hallway and spotted the newspaper tucked beneath his door, the front page headlines yelling in thick bold font ' _ **Mayhem at Midnight! Monsters Strike Again**_ '. He could also spy a grainy, zoomed in picture of himself just beneath that ridiculous caption, cane drawn and poised for action.

 _Oh, lovely. Paparazzi._

Mamoru bent over and snagged up the paper at the same time as he unlocked the door and slipped into the apartment, completely ready to chuck the offending item. He did so hate when the paparazzi and the reporters got involved; it was a danger not only to himself but them as well, and worse, those he cared about should he be followed and his identity go public. Motoki, Dr. Chiryoshi... strangely, an image of Usagi flitted through his mind right then as well, but Mamoru chased it with a closer look at the article. Underneath the main story was another smaller speculatory piece that caught his eye.

' _ **Sailor Moon: MIA?** ' _it read, then proceeded to explain in layman terms the happenings of the battle, and the mysterious absence of Tokyo's now legendary heroine.

MIA indeed. Mamoru would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about where Sailor Moon had gotten off to. There was a little unwelcome part of himself that spun worst case scenarios with dread... What if she was severely injured? Or captured by the Dark Kingdom? But no, her Senshi would've been far more desperate and broken up had their leader gone missing, and for all intents and purposes it had been a rather vanilla encounter with the three Sailors last night. He told himself he shouldn't buy into the newspaper's hysteria, fear-mongering was an exploitative favorite of theirs, and probably Sailor Moon was just recovering like he still was from that awful debacle downtown. She'd rejoin the fray soon enough.

The tiny, insistent niggle of doubt was why Mamoru left the newspaper on his coffee table, instead of in the garbage where he normally disposed of such drivel.

* * *

Usagi wasn't home long before she suddenly found her room full of Ami, Rei, Makoto and Luna, who greeted her charge with an exuberant leap, lick and nuzzle. They sat in the middle of the floor in a circle, so close their knees were touching, and Usagi reveled in having them all back in her life again.

What wasn't heartening was hearing about the results of the battle.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama ran off with the fourth Rainbow Crystal?" Usagi's gut gave an unpleasant twist as she listened to the other girls lambaste his character.

"The blue one, yeah. You know... I don't care how many times he's helped us in the past. That's _low_. If he's stealing our Crystals, he's not on our side. Simple as that," Makoto glowered. "I can't believe he got away with it _again_!"

"I agree," Luna sniffed from Usagi's lap. "Before, he was an unknown. Now, we have to consider him an enemy."

Usagi's heart sank further. It just wasn't right. Why didn't they feel as certain about this as she did? "But... there must be _some_ reason he's collecting them. I mean... he's not giving them to the Dark Kingdom right? That means he's not bad!"

"There are many kinds of 'bad', Usagi," Rei said gently. "Not all of them are as obvious as sending monsters and terrorizing people."

"I don't believe it," Usagi declared firmly, shaking her head and ignoring the much aggrieved sigh from the cat below. "He's not our enemy. He must have a good reason. I _know_ it."

There was silence for a moment, wherein Usagi guessed the girls were exchanging helpless glances, but she didn't care. That Tuxedo Kamen was their ally was a stance she would never sway on. Mercifully, the topic shifted away from the mysterious masked crusader and his loyalties. She didn't want to spend their precious time together arguing. Unmercifully, it proved to be just as difficult a revelation to stomach.

"You were that badly affected?" Usagi frowned, very concerned by the news that she hadn't heard much from the Senshi after the battle because they were all sleeping off the incredibly draining effects of using the Crescent Moon Stick to not just defeat a youma, but change it back into its original human form. Luna had stayed to watch over them at Makoto's, as that was the closest but also least likely home in which they'd have to face any questions. It terrified her that they'd been rendered so magically but also physically weak afterwards.

"Let's just put it this way, if a youma attacked again today I think I'd have enough power in my magical reserves to transform, but I'm really not sure I'd be able to defeat it," Ami sighed by way of explanation. Usagi gulped, praying to every deity out there that it never came to that. She could tell from the moment the girls arrived that they'd shuffled slowly, and seemed less energetic than they had been only yesterday. They were burnt out.

Makoto must have realized Usagi was slipping into a rather dark state of mind after the direction their conversation had headed, because she suddenly slapped the floor with two hands which started Usagi right out of her melancholy and everyone else present as well. "OH! And Usagi-chan! _We didn't even tell you the most shocking part_!"

"What!?"

"The fourth Crystal holder? It was _Reika_! You know... Motoki-chan's Reika? The one he mentioned in passing last week!? Like... she's real and she's gorgeous and I honestly think I might just _die_!"

"It's not fair," Usagi lamented, chuckling as she listened to Makoto continue to spew her woes, but somehow... amazingly... she wasn't anywhere near as devastated as Makoto. Maybe it was the accident, but she felt like she had a new perspective now. She was _happy_ for Motoki. He deserved someone kind and smart and beautiful.

Unconsciously, she touched the star locket that hid beneath her shirt. She hadn't taken it off since getting back.

"Hey..." she interrupted gingerly. "There's something weird I wanna tell you guys about..."

* * *

Mamoru grunted, putting all of his focus into his bad shoulder, the fingers of his opposite hand splayed across it and pushing with near agonizing pressure as he tried to channel his powers. A thin bead of sweat trickled its way down the side of his face... distracting him. Mamoru cried out in frustration. He lashed out at his wall and gave it a good punch - which only served to spread the pain to his knuckles.

It was no use.

He had no control over his healing abilities. They truly did just seem to come and go as they pleased, and it was _maddening_ , maddening to an utterly immeasurable degree, to sense that power within himself but never be able to tap into it of his own volition. Times like these when the consequences of his alter ego lifestyle ached and burned and throbbed with brutal passion, he longed for nothing more than the satisfaction of being able to chase the hurt away with only one touch, that quick and unattainable relief...

But he had never learned, all these years, ever since he first discovered the ability while at the orphanage. He had healed a little girl who skinned her knee, the warmth leaking like liquid gold from his fingertips and into her body, sealing up the injury like it never even happened. In recent years, he'd been able to do the same for victims of youma attacks, usually just small cuts and abrasions that they perhaps never even knew they possessed because they were caught up in the shock of the moment, and once they came out of that adrenaline high the wounds were nonexistent. But it was only ever when the _powers_ wanted to flow from him... never when he purposefully called them forth.

He could have sworn he felt some transfer into Usagi when he shook her hand that first day in the garden...

But it's not like he could have asked her if she felt any different, now, could he?

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: And the plot thickens! :D I'm very sorry to all who hoped the cliffhanger from last chapter was leading into The Big Reveal... I would be a horrible author if that scene DIDN'T happen, but, there are still some things that have to play out first so I must beg your patience for just a short while longer... ;)

In the meantime, most gracious thanks to the outpouring of reviewers from last chapter! I was so very excited to hear from each and every one of you: **Moon Bunny, phillynz, Serenity Red Eclipse, Syulai, Asj Johnson, karseneau1, TropicalRemix, TaelarNicole, Princesakarlita411, Roxypockets1, Jenbunny, moon romance, Ruk, PowerStealerRogue, TinkStar87, NikkiBC, MyIndy13,** and **Daire123**.

Big kisses to all you loves!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	13. The Gift

A few days passed. Usagi and Mamoru fell into a sort of routine, with he picking her up every day at 3:00. They would then drive out to the garden, and practice whatever new activity Mamoru had developed to fine tune any of her senses that did not rely upon sight. She was surprised to find that everything - from tying her shoes to fielding different floor plans - was starting to come that little bit easier. Movements more fluid, memory stronger, better control of her reflexes, and a greater understanding of spatial awareness. It was truly an incredible difference even from last week to now... and she had him to thank.

Not that she would _ever_ admit this to his face. Or that, sometime along the way... she actually started to _look forward_ to their lessons.

It was probably just because she didn't really get to go places anymore outside of these lessons. The streets were still too dangerous for her to navigate without accompaniment, so seeing Mamoru was often her only escape from the doldrums of her family's house. Which is why, when he called her that Wednesday out of the blue to hurriedly say he couldn't come that day... she found herself feeling more than a little put out.

"Usagi. Would you _please_ stop kicking that stand!?"

Her mama was bustling about the living room, giving it a thorough clean, and Usagi had draped herself across the couch with an audiobook - one headphone in, one out. She wasn't really listening to it anymore; had instead zoned out thinking about Mamoru and his strange golden aura. In fact, it was a little disconcerting just how much time he spent in her mind, lately. But she couldn't help it. It was _weird_. Why did Mamoru have a freaking color and nothing else!? Just what was she seeing, that no one else could? When she told the girls about this odd new development, she had seriously thought Ami was going to wet herself with excitement. But despite the dozen or so theories the erudite posed... they were still no closer to an answer than Usagi had been before. It was a complete mystery. Nearest they figured, Usagi's latent Senshi powers were at work in some way...

"Did you hear me? Feet on the floor! You're about to knock over the lamp!"

"Soooorry!"

Ikuko sighed, tickling Usagi with the end of her duster. The teen yelped. "You know... if you're bored, Naru-chan mentioned wanting to come by with Umino-san when you were up for a visit. They miss you! And they're probably out of school by now."

Usagi sat up, pulling out her earbuds and dumping them onto the coffee table. She smiled; it had indeed been a long time since she saw them. Apparently they had finally become an item in her absence, and she was so happy that they'd _finally_ realized they were head over heels for each other. People in love could be so _dense_ sometimes! "That's a good idea. Can they come over, Mama!? Pleeease?"

Ikuko laughed, sounding pleased to have lit a spark in her daughter. "Didn't I just say they could?"

Usagi didn't need telling twice. She leaped off the couch with renewed bounce.

oOo

The much-needed catch up with her old school friends was a blast, but Usagi was a popular girl today, which helped stave off any lingering dismay that Mamoru had cancelled on her. Almost as soon as the door closed on Umino and Naru, Makoto rang and asked if she could bring Usagi to Fruit Parlor Crown. They had an update... and a dire craving for milkshakes.

How could she say no to that?

" _Another_ rogue?"

"Yeah, this afternoon. Totally out of nowhere! We were on our way home," Makoto said over her malted chocolate shake, giving it a stir. "Ami-chan noticed it first..."

"It was attacking the library. The _library_!" Ami exclaimed, thoroughly appalled. As if this were the most heinous act yet. Usagi was fairly certain she was not the only one stifling a snicker. The Dark Kingdom better watch out now!

"What was curious though was that Tuxedo Kamen was there," Rei piped up, and that got Usagi's full attention. She nearly toppled her Neapolitan-Oreo-Hot Caramel shake leaning forward so quickly.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!?"

"Yeah, but it was weird. He just... showed up. Then left. Just like that. It was like he was looking for something," Rei said contemplatively.

"Probably to see if there was a Rainbow Crystal holder there and when there wasn't he skipped town," Makoto grumbled, a definite edge of bitterness lacing her tone. It made Usagi very uncomfortable.

"Please Mako-chan... we don't know that," Usagi pleaded.

"All I know is I don't trust him one bit," Makoto replied. "He grows shadier and shadier by the battle."

"Usagi-chan, how are your lessons with Mamoru-san going?" Ami inquired a touch loudly, in a clear change of subject. Usagi was grateful. As desperate as she was to hear about Tuxedo Kamen, she didn't want it to become an argument.

"Pretty good! Yesterday we did this cool balancing thing..."

* * *

Mamoru cast aside his pencil, rubbing his eyes. His studying notecards for the big upcoming test in his human anatomy course were only half-completed, as they had been for most of the day. Because apparently, there could never just be _peace_ \- and it was hard to be productive when the Dark Kingdom kept sending their minions to wreak havoc on Tokyo mid-cram session. He picked up on the attack via police scanner, and after a quick apologetic call to Usagi went racing out the door incognito. The library was a healthy distance away, so he was not surprised in the slightest to see the Sailor Senshi already there and launching an offensive against the energy-sucking beast soon as he arrived on the scene.

All of them... except Sailor Moon.

Again.

Mamoru had stayed only long enough to scan the room for her, but when his search came back sans blonde warrior he had ducked back into the shadows. The Senshi had this fight covered - he went looking for the victims.

He always looked for the victims.

Under a desk he found a high school student; a girl, probably only in her first or second year, trembling and crying as silently as she could. She had a number of superficial scratches and her fingers were white-knuckling an upraised book, but he was not daunted. He reached out for her.

"Come with me. It's alright. Let's get you to safety."

A couple more sweeps and it appeared he'd gotten everyone out. The Senshi meanwhile had gained ground and were gathered around the Crescent Moon Rod - about to strike down the youma with their combined powers. He'd seen that move employed last battle, too. It was only now he was starting to realize the implications.

Tuxedo Kamen went home an uncommonly unsettled man, that afternoon.

Sitting here now, notecards strewn in utter disarray around him, Mamoru was finding it impossible to focus on anything else. That was _her_ rod. Why were the Sailor Senshi using Sailor Moon's weapon - twice? Could she not wield it herself, anymore? Was she in hiding? Or _worse_?

A million queries plagued Mamoru until he simply gave up, retreating into the kitchen for a cup of the stiffest black coffee his machine would make. He felt so _useless_. Was there no way to find out what had happened to the missing moon Senshi?

He sipped at the liquid stimulant and shivered at how strong it was. He reveled at the sensation of it pooling hot and hearty in the pit of his stomach; at the clarity that was slowly starting to seep into the cloudy recesses of his tired, so tired, brain.

Maybe... maybe there _was_ a way.

"I mean... it's a foolhardy plan," he mumbled to himself. The first sign of insanity. "But I have to at least try. I need to know she's okay."

Details formulating, the medical intern-in-training nodded to himself and wandered from the kitchen, nursing his coffee such that he nearly tripped on an object that had fallen into his path.

"And how did you get there?" he chuckled, bending over to replace the would-be cause of injury from where it had initially rested, before the nosedive. "Stay put now. You need to remain in one piece for Odango tomorrow."

Mamoru straightened up, still with a smile brightening his features as he gazed upon Usagi's gift.

"Hope she likes it."

* * *

Usagi was fairly bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited for Mamoru to arrive, the following day.

"You know..." her mother's voice floated over to her, in a mercilessly teasing tone. "For not liking that boy, you're sure excited to see him."

" _Mama_!" Usagi screeched. "I do NOT like him!"

"What's all that hollering in there about?" Kenji called from the living room, muting the television.

"Nothing, dear!"

"Nothing, Papa!"

Usagi huffed, praying her face returned to its normal hue before Mamoru walked in the door, and cursing her mama for making her feel so awkward in the first place. The woman was being ridiculous. She absolutely positively DID NOT have a crush on Chiba Mamoru!

"Don't say things like that," she groused, glaring daggers Ikuko's direction.

"Like what?" the Tsukino matriarch replied cheerfully, undoubtedly the picture of innocence. "Oh, here he comes now!"

Usagi nervously smoothed out the creases in her skirt and gave her odango a quick tug when she heard the front door being beckoned inward.

"Welcome, Mamoru-san!"

"Good to see you, Tsukino-san."

" _Ikuko_ -san."

"Sorry. _Ikuko_ -san." Mamoru sounded appropriately chagrined but Ikuko laughed it off with warm, motherly affection.

"So polite! Aren't you a dear. Have fun today, you two!"

Ikuko swept from the room, leaving Usagi a brief moment in which to duck her head and compose her features. It really was embarrassing having a mother who fawned so obviously over her frenemy's every word. Frenemy... was that what they were now? She really didn't know how to define them anymore.

Usagi shook herself of the confusing thoughts and stepped closer to Mamoru, or, the gold speck that was currently masquerading as Mamoru.

How utterly _crazy_ would he think her if she told him _that_?

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I heard something different when you came in," she commented, inclining her head.

"Did you now?" Mamoru countered, and she could tell - he was beaming. At her improved hearing? She felt a sudden rush of pride.

"Yeah. Like a tapping? When you were coming up the stairs."

"Impressive," Mamoru complimented, giving the foyer a few taps for good measure. "What you heard is... well, I brought you a gift."

"A gift?" Usagi perked up, countenance alight.

"It's not _just_ from me. I had a little help from your friend Mizuno-san. But I gave her the idea and she ran with it," Mamoru chuckled, moving closer. "We've been working on this for a couple days."

Usagi's heart struck up a frantic rhythm as she felt Mamoru's hands brush hers, and he passed something long and smooth and slender into her unsuspecting grip. The teen gasped. "A cane!" she marveled, tapping around on the floor with unbridled excitement.

"Bright pink," Mamoru said, a playful inflection to his voice. "We figured you'd appreciate that. But the coolest thing... come over here."

Mamoru led and Usagi complied.

"Try the cane here, near this shoe rack."

Usagi did, and once more another gasp was pulled from her throat. "It- it vibrated into my palm as soon as I got close! Just a teeny bit but I still felt it."

"Yep. That was my idea. Mizuno-san made the adjustments. It detects your obstacles, anything above a certain mass, and sends the low frequency vibrations as a warning to you that it's in your path. You can turn the feature on and off with the small switch a little lower down, but I figured... I mean given that you're just starting out, getting used to it... maybe it would be helpful to you."

Usagi was touched, hardly knowing what to say. This was one of those few instances where she was actually grateful for her damaged tear ducts; she was pretty sure had they been operating as they should she would've been a wailing mess right now. As it was, she rapidly blinked back the insistent tickle. "I... I can't believe you did this for me. It's _amazing_. Thank you so much!"

"Not just me," Mamoru deflected, sounding like he was fighting off a serious blush. "Mizuno-san too. I couldn't have done it without her genius."

Usagi nodded, fingering the handle of the cane with something akin to awe, mingled with lingering disbelief, swelling in her chest. "Say... do you think we could take this baby out for a test drive to her cram school? So I can thank her properly."

"I was waiting for you to ask that," Mamoru grinned. "C'mon... let's teach you how to be street-savvy with your sweet new cane! The first lesson... how to conk slow pedestrians over the head with it!"

Usagi laughed, actually laughed aloud at Mamoru's joke. An overwhelming joy was burgeoning fierce inside her...

The world was opening up to her again.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: I thank you all for your patience! Over the hiatus my husband and I had our honeymoon in Aruba. It was bliss beyond words but now we're home safe and sound in the buckets of snow that fell in our absence. I miss being served pina coladas under a palapa surrounded in sand, sun, and palm trees! *pitiful whimpers* This chapter took unreasonably long to plot out but I'm finally happy with it. You're starting to see a different side to Usagi and Mamoru... ;) DON'T BE SHY... WHATCHA THINK?

Last chapter **James Birdsong, TropicalRemix, tryntee13, MyIndy13, Guest** (x2) **, moonwrite, NikkiBC, Moon Bunny, Ruk, karseneau1, Xo, Daire123, Rei0ki, lisasailor, Jenbunny, Aya Faulkner, mtillm21, Asj Johnson, Rufael, TinkStar87,** and **SaphireShimmer** ROCKED MY WORLD with their reviews so thanks for that and hope you'll keep me apprised ;) I really love hearing what your favorite parts are and your theories as to what's next!

Hugs,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	14. The Apartment

The cane became an integral part of Usagi's daily life. She had no idea something so small could be so meaningful. It was her gateway to the world - with it, she was finally able to traverse the streets of Tokyo alone. The next couple lessons with Mamoru were all about navigating the sidewalks and crosswalks safely; the audible "Walk/Wait" prompters she'd never really paid attention to before were suddenly her lifeboat in a terrifying sea of cars and buses and cyclists and trucks. Everything was so _loud_ and _smelly_ and overwhelming out here; without her sight, her ears and nose were working on overdrive trying to make sense of what she was thrust in the middle of. A couple times she had needed Mamoru to simply pull her aside and ground her before she entered into full-blown panic attack. But the practice paid off - she grew more comfortable the more time they spent out there. At her request, Mamoru even showed her the routes to her favorite haunts, walking them again and again until she had the familiar routes memorized once more. Motoki was particularly excited to have his two best patrons stop by the arcade.

"Well, well, well. I never thought I'd see the day!"

"Hey buddy."

" _Motoki-onee-chan_!"

Usagi launched at his voice with the speed of a freight train. The sandy-haired college student chuckled as he expertly caught her in a big bear hug. "Usagi-chan, is this tall surly fellow bothering you? I can kick him out if you want."

Usagi was delighted beyond words that Motoki wasn't making a scene over her blindness; was in fact treating her just like he had before the incident. She felt a surge of gratitude.

"It's good to see you too, asshole," Mamoru retorted playfully, with what was likely a heavy eye-roll.

"Mamoru-san is teaching me how to get around Tokyo! He got me a cane! Look!" Usagi informed Motoki, excitedly gestured to her new gift. "Now I can come whenever I want!"

"Well you better, because I've really missed you around here. And I like the pink," Motoki grinned, patting her on the odango indulgently.

"ALSO!" Usagi smacked his shoulder. "I can't believe you never told me about your girlfriend! I had to find out secondhand!"

"Um, I _did_ tell you-"

On and on it went, as the old friends caught up, teasing and laughing and reminiscing. Usagi didn't even notice how as the time whittled away, Mamoru eventually grew quiet, letting her and Motoki take control of the conversation. When they at last headed home, his sudden and intense statement took her by surprise.

"You like him."

His voice was carefully neutral, and Usagi had no idea what to make of the opine, other than it almost sounded like a question in disguise.

"Well, yeah - he's a good friend-"

"More than a friend."

Usagi blinked, gazing up towards Mamoru's lightly golden aura in askance. What brought _that_ on? She had to gather herself for a moment before she spoke.

"I did. Once. But it was puppy love. I knew nothing was going to come of it. When I found out he had Reika-san, I was happy for him. He deserves someone wonderful, someone older and more mature."

"Age isn't really a factor when you love someone," Mamoru said, sounding as if he had turned his head away from her. An edge of - maybe it was discomfort, or embarrassment - had seeped into his reply, despite the firm manner in which he had expressed the sentiment.

"No... it's not," Usagi agreed softly. Unsure why her heart was beating wildly again. "But he's just a really, really good friend."

"Ah."

And that was that. They continued walking, nearly to the Tsukino residence, but the charged silence remained as palpable as if it were traveling along beside them. Usagi could hardly breathe with the intensity of its presence. She was immensely relieved when they had a distraction in the form of her Mama, greeting them before they'd even fully approached the mailbox.

"Look at you! Oh Usagi, you're a natural!"

Usagi beamed at the compliment.

"Honey, there's sata andagi on the table when you get in. Just save some for your brother! I need to speak with Mamoru-san for a moment."

Usagi heard the implied dismissal in the words. Just like that, her heart rate sped up once more. Why on earth did her mother want to converse privately with Mamoru? Every possible horrible scenario flashed through her mind. Did she find out about the garden? Was she forbidding them from ever going there alone again? _Or worse_. What if she was sharing her positively outrageous theories about Usagi's " _feelings"_ with him?

She moved very, very slowly toward the front door, dragging her feet, craning her ears...

It was no use. Their hushed tones were indiscernible to her from this distance, so with a grudging finality Usagi left them to their talk. She waited on tenterhooks munching on the sweet fried buns at the kitchen table until she heard her mother enter the house.

"So what was that about?" she asked loudly. Trying to hide the nervousness roiling in her stomach. She took a few more large bites of cake to settle it.

"Mamoru-san has kindly agreed to devote a little extra time each lesson to tutoring you, until we can make special arrangements for your schooling. He is going to teach you how to read Braille! Isn't that exciting?"

"Braille!" Usagi exclaimed, crumbs flying everywhere. "I don't want to learn Braille!"

"Usagi!" Ikuko scolded. "This is very important, just as important as figuring out how to use your cane was, perhaps even more so! This is your education we're talking about. Your _future_. Now I will not allow my almost fifteen-year-old daughter to fall behind and fail to get into high school next year just because she thinks learning something new is _too hard._ You'll start tomorrow."

Usagi whined. Honestly, she had been rather enjoying not going to school anymore. She missed seeing her friends every day, sure, but it beat sitting still at a desk for hours, the endless homework and Cranky Haruna. The scholarly lifestyle just wasn't for her.

But it _was_ for Mamoru, who was in many ways a lot like Ami. Would he be a slave-driver too?

"This sucks," she mumbled, slouching in her seat.

oOo

 _She snuck up behind him and his billowing cloak as silently as she could which was not at all, slipping two hands into place over his eyes. The dark head cocked to the side and the man rumbled with deep mirth._

 _"Gotcha," she whispered into his ear, giggling as insatiably as a little girl._

 _"Unhand me, fiend!" he declared, in mock-offense._

 _"Never," she purred._

 _"Then it's off to the dungeon with you!" he laughed, and with powerful arms reached behind him to hoist her, shrieking, up onto his back. She clung on for dear life as he began marching them away-_

"Usagi! How many times do I have to tell you not to just 'close your eyes for a couple seconds' right before your lesson! You. Are. LATE!"

Luna's irate voice slashed like a sharp knife through her muddled consciousness. Usagi started awake abruptly. As always, for the briefest moment after resurfacing from sleep she experienced the sting of sadness when her eyes opened into nothingness, after the vivid colors found behind closed lids. Strange... she felt like she had dreamed of that couple before. But there was no time to dwell on deja vu -

Mamoru was on his way, and she was sporting disheveled clothes, mussed hair, and unfortunate post-nap breath.

She lunged from the bed to the bathroom with only an infinitesimal pause to marvel at the fact that she didn't trip once.

oOo

"So... I was thinking we could go somewhere a little different today. If that's okay with you," Mamoru broached, as they were heading out to his car. Usagi feeling the way with her cane and Mamoru ambling along beside her. "Your mother told you about what she asked yesterday, I presume?"

"Yes," Usagi nodded, trying not to let any of her indignation leak onto her expression. Mamoru was more observant than she gave him credit for, however.

"It's alright. I know much much you love school," he teased, around what sounded like a side-splitting grin. "I promise to start slow and easy."

"You won't throw cat toys at me?" Usagi grumbled, and Mamoru laughed out loud at that.

"That's not off the table! It worked last time, didn't it?"

The blonde rolled her eyes.

"Anyway... a garden's not really conducive for studying. If it wouldn't... you know, weird you out or anything... I have all the texts and materials for learning Braille at my apartment. It might be easier to just go there instead of lugging them all the way to a library, and anyway, I think they're still recovering from that monster attack a couple days ago."

He sounded incredibly nervous, and honestly, Usagi wasn't doing much better herself. He was inviting her... to his apartment?

There was something almost... _intimate_ about that idea; that setting... but, he couldn't possibly be intending it in that manner, right? This was to be a purely educational trip. A lesson, just like all their other lessons.

Just... at the place where he lived.

A place she'd often caught herself wondering about, lately.

Usagi cleared her throat, hoping she hadn't taken too long to reply. "No, I mean... that's not weird. It's a good plan. You can't really comfortably spread out with a book at the garden, can you? And I'd rather not have people eyeballing me anyway if we did it - uh, Braille - in public. So yeah, that'd be... yeah. Let's go."

She wanted to bury her face in her palms and refuse to come up. Could that have been any more awkward an answer? But Mamoru brushed it off like a pro. He seemed relieved when he spoke next.

"Great," he grinned, opening her car door. Usagi had long ago learned to accept his chivalry as a kindness and not an opportunity to demoralize her. She settled in with a quick _thanks_ and leaned back in her seat. Her mind was still racing from the unexpected offer. She was going to _Mamoru's apartment_. What did it look like? She was rather inexplicably struck with a wave of sorrow that she would not be able to fully appreciate the space she was soon to find herself in. Was he a slob, as with most bachelor pads? Or a neat freak who kept even the dust bunnies in impeccable order?

Usagi decided she would've bet money on the latter, just knowing Mamoru's personality. She smirked and did not notice the quizzical look she received in return.

When they were onto the road, Mamoru started in on the small talk.

"So a little birdie told me your birthday is next week?"

"That little birdie being my mother?" Usagi posed, a certain sardonic layer to her tone as she wondered not for the first time just what that woman's ulterior motives were.

"She just mentioned it in passing," Mamoru shrugged, as if hoping to appease her. "Do you do anything special?"

Usagi sighed, the flicker of a frown passing across her features. "Usually I'd go bowling or play laser tag or go to the arcade or somewhere else fun. Now... I don't know what I'll do."

She lapsed into a morose silence that immediately filled the car, and sensing her discomfort Mamoru quickly moved on to other topics.

Her birthday just didn't seem like something to be excited about, this year.

"So um... where exactly _are_ we going?"

oOo

Azabu Apartments.

Usagi couldn't see them, but it was easy to conjure the picture up in her mind, that monstrous building that towered over the Juban square. She swore she _felt_ its powerful looming presence as her and Mamoru headed to the entrance. The Tsukino family was fairly well off, all things considering. Her Papa was a high-profile journalist. Princess D's party was not even the most illustrious he had been invited to. But Azabu Apartments... Azabu was for the _rich_. Usagi and Naru used to loiter outside just to get a glimpse of the opulent and spacious lobby, and when they were younger they used to make up stories about the lucky upper class that lived here. It was crazy to think _Mamoru_ was one of those people!

A definite awe had settled inside Usagi. Her feet clacked loudly against the floors that she remembered always looked so perfectly polished. And to think, all those years of dreaming about this place and now she was _inside_!

Mamoru touched her elbow and led her over to an elevator. He punched for his floor and Usagi couldn't help but ask which one.

"Top," he said, after a brief moment of hesitation. Usagi nearly lost her mouth to gravity.

"TOP? The _top floor_!?"

She felt his shrug but refused to back down, or quit making a scene. It was a good thing they were the only two on the elevator.

"Oh my _God_! You must have the _best_ view! _Top floor_. _And_ he has a frigging Ferrari. You're a high roller, aren't you, Chiba Mamoru!?"

Mamoru laughed like he wasn't sure whether to be embarassed or flattered. "It's nothing fancy. Seriously. It's parceled out really well but it's still just a glorified studio. I do have a balcony though."

"A balcony with the best city view," Usagi felt the need to point out again. "And you're only eighteen! I mean... that's impressive. You must be _loaded_!"

"It's not my money," Mamoru said quietly. There was a _ding!_ signaling their arrival, but Usagi made no attempt to move. Instead she stood there, blinking, her excitement extinguished as swiftly as a candle blown upon.

Oh. Right. His parents.

The ones he didn't have anymore.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "That was- I didn't mean to..."

"Don't be silly," Mamoru interrupted, coaxing her off the lift with another hand to the elbow. As if to reassure her, he gave it a squeeze, and the girl smiled at last. "It sucks. I'd rather have them instead. But since I can't... it's not an unpleasant way to live, you know? I appreciate that I don't have to struggle to make ends meet. It allows me to focus on my schooling which is what they would want."

"You honor them well."

"It's what your mother wants, too," Mamoru suddenly tacked on, with the ghost of a grin that sounded distinctly shit-eating. Usagi huffed, smacking the first bit of him she came into contact with.

"Not fair, Mamoru-san. Playing on my sensitivities like that!"

"Never said I played fair! Ahh. Home sweet home!"

The door opened and Usagi was immediately struck with the overwhelming smell of, well... _Mamoru_. There was really no other way to describe it. It was the scent she had come to associate with him, a pleasing amalgamation of manly musk, sweet earthiness and... maybe some flower? As she followed him into what he announced was the entry hall, that smell of flowers increased. She paused, turning her head to the side. Her fingers carefully reached out, brushing glass.

"Do you have a vase of flowers here?"

"Roses. My favorite. I think it makes me classy," Mamoru laughed, and Usagi marveled at his unbridled honesty. Not nearly enough men were so in touch with their feminine side. "Or at least, gives the illusion!"

"Roses are my favorite too," she whispered, thinking of Tuxedo Kamen. Her heart stuttered a beat.

"Come, sit down. Couch is over here. I'll grab the books."

Usagi took the initiative and plopped herself onto the well-loved sofa, enjoying the way she just sunk right down into the cushions. But as she did so, she heard a bunch of paper go crunching and/or flying, and then Mamoru's footsteps wandered back over upon noticing her plight.

"Oh jeez! Sorry about that, Usagi-san. I forgot I had left those there! Here, let me clear this mess onto the coffee table. Add it to the rest of my 'collection'," he chuckled, but in a tone rather lacking real humor. Usagi frowned, feeling around at all the stray pieces of -

"Newspapers?"

"Yep."

She furrowed her brow, still sweeping her hands over them as if they would help solve this mystery. "Um. Why are you hoarding newspapers?"

Mamoru laughed, beginning to shuffle and gather them into a pile. "Do you keep up with the Sailor Senshi at all, Usagi-san?"

Whatever she thought he had been about to say... it wasn't that. Usagi froze, and then realized she had froze, which was suspicious, which prompted her to unfreeze, but then... she wasn't quite sure how to just act _normal_ anymore, not with that loaded question hanging in the air, and so she continued to brush her hands over the papers with slightly shakier fingers than before.

 _Play it cool. Play. It. Cool._

"Um... not really. I'm... not great at keeping up with all that 'monster of the week' stuff," Usagi lied straight through her teeth. Praying her face retained its usual color throughout this whole awful, unexpected, unwanted conversation. "Guess I _should_ be though," she tacked on for good measure, gesturing to her eyes. She tried her very hardest to look completely neutral. Maybe show the tiniest amount of intrigued puzzlement. "What's going on with the Sailor Senshi?"

"I can't believe you haven't heard. It's a media frenzy. Apparently Sailor Moon has gone missing!"

"Missing? That's... that's terrible!" Usagi gulped. Willing her heart to cease this crusade against her. It pounded with fierce abandon. Never had she wished so fervently for her eyesight back, if only to gauge what expression her companion wore.

"They're saying she hasn't shown up to a battle in weeks. I've collected all the news clippings. Fascinating stuff. Everyone's got a theory. Like here. This one dude is saying she's a robotic hybrid made by the government to protect the city and now she's been pulled from duty, leaving the other hybrids to battle these monsters in her stead? It's outrageous!"

Usagi whipped her hand back like it had been scalded. Mamoru was hoarding news stories... about _her_?

This was way, way too weird.

She swallowed uncomfortably, forcing her fingers into her lap. "Well... I hope they find her."

"You and me both," Mamoru murmured, stowing away the last of the papers. Then he smacked himself in the face. "Look at me, being such a terrible host! I never even asked if you want tea?"

"Yes please," Usagi jumped at the chance to discuss anything but her alter-ego. "And do you have any cookies to go with it?"

Mamoru snorted. "Invite you to my apartment and _not_ have cookies on hand? What do you think I am, crazy?"

He hurried into the kitchen and Usagi side-eyed the table where she knew the newspapers to now be.

That much was to be determined.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: An all-Usa POV! That means next chapter will be all-Mamo. Maybe. Mostly. It's still TBD heh. Hope you're all enjoying this wild ride. I see this story as having two climaxes. One mid-story and one at the end. We are at last nearing the mid-story climax. The roller coaster has begun its ascent ;) Also, hopefully no one is too upset about Usagi's birthday happening now, mid-first season. From the beginning I wanted her to be a little older. Author's preference, *shrugs*. And yes - in case anyone is wondering - the Japanese would be in school in June.

THANK YOU **tryntee13, Rufael, Princesakarlita411, Daire123, Serenity Red Eclipse, Ruk, Sesshy's Rose, moon romance, Moon Bunny, karseneau1, lisasailor, Astraearose-silvermoon, NikkiBC,** and **MyIndy13** for lavishing upon me SO MUCH LOVE last chapter. I cherish you guys!

Next chapter... Mamoru puts his plan into action. Will he succeed in getting information on our missing leader?

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	15. The Clock Tower

_"The Silver Crystal... Gather the Rainbow Crystals to grant me the Silver Crystal..."_

 _Her distant figure was a shimmering deity upon the balcony, just far enough away that he could not make out her features. She had her back to him, but he could tell she was a beautiful woman; long, flowing light hair and a billowing white gown. He did not know her name, nor even her face, despite the fact that she haunted his dreams nearly every night. But he **knew** her. He could not say how... only that she was the key to everything. Every cell in his body thrummed to do her bidding._

 _"Grant me the Silver Crystal... and all will be revealed... The truth of your past..."_

Mamoru jolted awake in a cold sweat. His eyes flickered wildly over to the clock at his bedside before relaxing ever so slightly upon seeing that while it was way past his usual alarm, it was Saturday - he hadn't needed to set it before bed. Sunlight streamed in from between the slats in the generically beige curtains, the errant rays warming whatever part of the covers they hit. It was this coruscating display Mamoru chose to focus on as he gasped gently, dragging himself from the last dregs of his dream.

The Princess.

It was what he had been referring to her as, and though he had no proof, the title just felt... _right_.

She was his nightly specter... his reason for all that he did as Tuxedo Kamen.

Or... so he'd always thought.

But somehow along the way, his emotions had gotten entangled with the welfare of that other mysterious blonde-haired woman, Sailor Moon. Her unexplained disappearance was becoming his new obsession... almost more than collecting the Crystals. He buried his face in his hands, feeling inexplicably guilty. That dream had been like the metaphorical shaking of his shoulders from the Princess... a reminder of what he _should_ be doing. Unlocking the secrets of his past was very important to him. But he _couldn't_. Not yet. Not until he knew what had happened to Sailor Moon, could he truly focus on his mission. It was becoming next to impossible.

And then there was the _other_ blonde.

Lord help him, three blondes were wreaking havoc on his life, and he was helpless to their whims. He didn't have a type, oh no, not at all!

He never would have believed it... never would have thought in a million years that _Tsukino Usagi_ would have carved out a space in his heart. But he cared about her. Was invested fully in not just her recovery... but her happiness, too. He ached to see the spark of joy in her face; that massive smile only she could produce. It was strangely intoxicating. He _still_ found himself replaying that moment he gave her the cane...

Which is why it had been a most difficult decision, cancelling their lessons for this weekend.

He would make it up to her. Oh, would he ever. He was almost embarrassingly excited about it. After a few sort of torturous days of (trying and failing) to teach her Braille... they both deserved a fun break from the books.

But first, there was something he needed to do. Something that, hopefully, would succeed at putting his mind at ease about Sailor Moon. Because he just couldn't stand not knowing anymore.

He would get answers... one way or another.

And he knew just the person to help him with that.

oOo

She entered the room and immediately screamed.

Inside, he cringed.

He hadn't been trying to go for _imposing_ or _menacing_ or _creepy as hell standing in the middle of a schoolgirl's bedroom_ but... he supposed it couldn't be avoided. He hadn't known where else to deliver this message to her than at her house, and he really hadn't wanted to accidentally encounter her mother so...

Osaka Naru made to bolt from the room but in barely two seconds flat, Mamoru had crossed the floor and gently grabbed her wrist.

"Please... don't run. I won't hurt you. Do you know who I am?"

"T-T-Tuxedo Kamen," Naru stuttered out, torn between staring terrified at his masked face and the ajar balcony door. He jerked his head that direction.

"You shouldn't leave that unlocked, you know."

She didn't even twitch at his bad joke, so he sighed, getting right down to it.

"I'm only here to ask a favor of you. You know Sailor Moon. So I need you to pass a message on to her. I wish to give her my Rainbow Crystals. Tell her to meet me at 11pm, tonight, at the clock tower in Juban Cemetery. I will not give her this chance again. Alright?"

He hadn't exactly considered what he would do with the Crystals if she _did_ show. But he would figure that out later. For now he simply hoped that the offer whet her appetite; would coax her out of hiding like nothing else had yet. Perhaps they _could_ reach some sort of deal... the Moon Senshi did, after all, still hold the Yellow Crystal in her possession.

But he was more concerned with knowing she was still alive.

Naru couldn't speak; she just opened her mouth and let out an apprehensive little squeak that Mamoru took for affirmation. He nodded briskly and let her go, not even looking back as he swept from the room and out the balcony from whence he came.

Step one, initiated.

* * *

Naru was in a state when she called Usagi, begging to come over with something that "just couldn't wait". She was almost in hysterics, to the point where Usagi was all ready to saddle up, truck herself over to Umino's and murder the idiot genius for breaking her best friend's heart.

She was almost floored with surprise when the reason for Naru's panic was nothing to do with Umino at all.

"No. _No way_! Tuxedo Kamen-sama was at _your_ house!?"

Naru nodded tearfully, leaning forward on Usagi's bed to grab up her friend's hands as she filled the girl in on what had occurred. Usagi could hardly keep her jaw off her lap. Had it really been him? It _sounded_ like him. But what brought this on, out of the blue? Maybe... maybe he was having a change of heart and wanted to join Crystals with the Senshi! Luna had said all would need to be combined for the Princess and her legendary Silver Crystal to appear; the princess with ultimate power to defeat the Dark Kingdom. That it was their duty to protect this woman. Could Tuxedo Kamen want that too? But then, why had he been stealing them in the first place?

Usagi shook herself from going too far down that road; she still had a very frightened guest to comfort.

"I just don't understand!" Naru was practically wailing. "Why me? I don't know Sailor Moon! I can't pass on a message like that! And what if he gets angry when I can't do it, what if he comes after me-"

" _Hey_." Usagi shifted one of her hands out of Naru's death-grip to firmly grasp her shoulder. She gave it a quick squeeze. "Tuxedo Kamen-sama is one of the good guys, right? He's always with the Sailor Senshi. He's _good_." She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, herself or Naru, but the latter seemed to be hanging on to every hopeful word so Usagi kept going. "He probably just figured since you've been involved in so many battles, you might know Sailor Moon."

"But I _don't_ ," Naru choked. "I never wanted _any_ of that!"

Usagi hesitated. She bit the inside of her cheek, wondering how much trouble she was going to be in for doing this, but - "I think I know someone. A friend of a friend who claims to have some sort of 'in' with Sailor Moon. If you want, I can pass the message on to them and then, hopefully, it will get to her."

"Oh, Usagi-chan! Do you think that would work?" Naru asked around a sniffle, her voice already becoming lighter and less burdened. Her shoulder that Usagi was still clutching contorted, as if she were reaching up to dab at her eyes.

"I think it would," Usagi said soothingly. "But on one condition - _don't_ tell Umino about this, kay? You know how he is. He'd want to go to the cemetery tonight and be right in the thick of the action. He'd risk his life just for some stupid pictures or something."

"Ugh, tell me about it," Naru moaned.

"And you stay away too," Usagi urged. "You did what he asked. Now hopefully he'll leave you alone and he can discuss whatever he needs to discuss with Sailor Moon."

Her heart gave a couple strange thrills at the thought. Whether they were of the pleasant or unpleasant variety, Usagi still wasn't sure. It would help if she knew what to expect. Could this be it - the turning point in the war? Was Tuxedo Mask finally officially going to join their side?

"So what do you suppose Rainbow Crystals are?" Naru suddenly wondered aloud, her unexpected curiosity nearly causing Usagi another coronary. She hastened to adopt a look of stupefied innocence.

"Erm... Beats me."

oOo

"No."

"But Rei-chan...!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? _No_!" The sound of Rei's pacing stopped as she pivoted to face Usagi, seated by the coffee table on the floor in Rei's bedroom. "No, no, no, NO!"

Usagi huffed in frustration, gazing over to where she knew Makoto and Ami to be, seeking their back-up. But she would find none.

"I'm sorry, Usagi-chan. I'm with Rei-chan on this one," Makoto sighed.

"Ami-chan? Ami-chan, please! I _know_ him. I know this won't work. If you'd just let me-"

"The idea has merit," Ami conceded, but Usagi sensed the soul-crushing _however_ headed her way, and she was not disappointed. "However - _only_ if this is not some ruse on his part. And we have really no way of gauging his true intentions. I for one think that the likelihood of Tuxedo Kamen wanting to capitulate is very slim. It doesn't fit his M.O. up until this point. So no. Rei-chan's right. We're not sending you out there as Sailor Moon. It's a risk we cannot afford to take."

"He would see immediately that you're blind," Rei continued. "It's all in the eyes. And if he realized you were vulnerable, we would probably be too far to come to your aid in time, should he choose to attack you."

Usagi frowned, a sick feeling taking over her stomach, and she curled her arms around herself. She swallowed painfully when a warm hand perched itself on her back, rubbing a gentle circle.

"We only want to keep you safe," Makoto said. "Your life isn't worth a couple Crystals to us. And you're not ready to be fighting any battles yet."

"But it won't become a battle," Usagi pled for them to understand. "Tuxedo Kamen-sama is not our enemy... He's protected me so many times. Why would he do that if he wasn't on our side! It just doesn't make sense! He's _good_... I know it!"

There was silence following this pronouncement; silence that was rife with looks being exchanged over her bent head, she was sure. Probably all full of exasperation and sympathy and regret. She waited for the figurative pat on the head and to be told to wait here like a good little useless Senshi.

It didn't take long.

Some failed arguments later, Usagi was left alone with Luna at the shrine while the girls went to go stake out the cemetery. In Rei's defense, she had taken pity on the odangoed blonde after her harsh words of earlier and gave an uncharacteristic hug to Usagi, asking her to please stay the night - that as soon as this meeting with Tuxedo Kamen was concluded, they'd fill her in on everything, then spend the rest of the night pigging out just like the sleepovers of old. Normally that would have excited Usagi. But when she called her Mama to let her know the night's plans, it was all she could do to hurry the conversation along before she broke down.

She should be out there with them.

She should be out there... for _him_.

Usagi crawled into Rei's bed, shaping herself into a miserable ball, only adjusting when she felt Luna paw her way up under her chin. She held the cat close, and they simply laid there, neither saying a word.

It was going to be a very long night, and she had a terrible feeling the news she was waiting for would not be the news she wanted.

* * *

The moon cut a striking figure in the sky, the sharp-edged crescent casting only the most minimal of light. It was the perfect night in which to conduct illicit dealings, with the cemetery as empty and silent as its inhabitants... all but the man lurking upon the clock tower, and his quarry below. He watched as she leaned upon the unwavering marble, looking darkly but determined. But she was not the one he sought.

"You're not Sailor Moon," he observed, the tone unaffected, and when she pushed off the wall to whip her raven head towards him he made sure his pose looked the same. Legs crossed, weight resting on his elbows, cape splayed out behind him. She only let her shock show for the briefest moment, then her expression schooled once more. _She's a seasoned vet at this, isn't she,_ he thought belatedly. Her whole demeanor shifted to mirror his, but instead of the lower half she crossed her arms tightly over her chest.

"Very astute," the warrior drawled, piercing purple-onyx eyes staring unblinkingly up at him. "Would you like an ovation?"

"I asked for Sailor Moon," Mamoru said, cocking a brow at her from behind his trademark white mask. "I was very specific."

"Well perhaps something got, ah... _lost in translation_ ," the Senshi replied, still in that irritatingly _bored_ sort of tone. But there was a spark of fire in her eyes when she narrowed them slightly at him. "Don't ever use that unreliable method of delivery again. Osaka Naru is nothing but a civilian; she's not involved in this battle in any way and will only compromise us _and_ you. _Presuming_ you are on our side, Tuxedo Kamen."

"It was a one time thing," the ebony-clad crusader promised, and in one swift movement he leapt from the tower, landing gracefully, almost cat-like, upon his feet. He straightened and donned a small, lopsided smirk. "Sailor Mars."

If anything, she looked even more annoyed.

"Dear me. Have I lost all my charm?"

He hadn't interacted very often with this particular Senshi, and he was coming to realize it was something he should count his blessings for. She was blunt, bordering on nasty.

"What do you _want_?" Mars sneered. Tapping one gloved finger with impatient incessancy.

"I think I was pretty clear in my message. I want to meet with Sailor Moon. Then, and only then, will I consider a surrender of my Rainbow Crystals."

"Well, you're out of luck. Sailor Moon isn't here so you've got me."

Mamoru scoffed. His eyes began to scan the surrounding area, soon alighting upon a dense thicket of bushes set between a copse of trees. "I hardly doubt it's just you and I. Your little posse is never far behind. Where is she?"

Mars stepped unflinchingly into his vision, blocking sight of the bushes. Her eyes flashed fire again. "She's _not here_. So if you want to do business, I suggest you take it up with me."

Mamoru snapped his head back to properly accost her, leaning in, their angry faces only inches apart. "I'll say this one more time. I will not _play games_ with you. Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon alone is who I wish to speak with. If she's not here, then we have nothing to discuss and the Crystals stay with me."

"Why do you want them? What _need_ of yours is greater than keeping the world safe from the evil clutches of the Dark Kingdom?" Mars shot at him, but Mamoru would not be deflected. He shook his head at her in disgust.

"My reasons are my own. And if you cannot procure Sailor Moon for me, then you are of no use to me, and this was nothing but a failed endeavor. Goodbye, Sailor Mars," he said harshly, turning his back. No sooner had he done so when he felt the beginnings of scorching heat building behind him.

" _Fire Soooo_ -!"

She was unable to finish; the power of flame dying on her fingertips as surely as her breath when Mamoru's extendable cane caught her flush between the ribs. He shoved Mars up against the clock tower and growled fiercely at her, pinning her there with the cane.

"What are you playing at!?"

Mars' voice was deathly cold as she glared into his eyes, but it felt like his very soul. She didn't even struggle. It was disconcerting. "There's no two ways about it. You're either with us, or against us. So if you walk away now, with the Crystals, there is no further doubt about you. You're our enemy."

Off in the distance, Mamoru heard calls of " _Mars_!" A quick glance told him it was a worried Sailors Mercury and Jupiter, jumping from out of the bushes he'd pegged them to be hiding in earlier... and still no sign of the missing blonde member of their team. They were running for the dais, lurching up the stairs, arms already raised and preparing to call forth their elements to do battle with the man threatening their fellow soldier. He had maybe seconds left. Seconds, in which to make a snap judgment decision.

If Sailor Moon was truly gone...

He really had no reason, no desire, to risk his life for these loud, boorish, inexperienced girls anymore. Because he realized... it had never been about them. Nor duty. Nor even about saving the world or 'the greater good'...

No... it had always been about _her_.

And without her...

"I guess I'm your enemy, then."

He pulled back, releasing her. He watched as the ice that had been in Mars' voice seeped into her eyes, the irises almost black with newfound hate, but still, she remained frozen to the marble. Just... staring at him. Like a warning. And it seemed to be intimating more than just an unspoken _watch your back_...

No, somehow he knew...

She was warning him away from _someone_.

" _Shabon Spray_!"

Mercury's fog descended on the group, but Mamoru was no stranger to this particular form of trickery. It was under the cloaking ability of her own attack that he slipped away from the Sailor Senshi, mind reeling with all that had transpired; all that had been revealed, and not revealed.

Sailor Moon _was_ still alive.

Mamoru bounded along rooftops, keeping to the shadows, eyes on his high-rise gleaming under waxing moonlight.

He hadn't been certain before. Was even dreading the worst.

But now he knew, from the way Mars had been glaring so ferociously at him - like a provoked mama bear - that she was protecting her leader. All her non-answers about Sailor Moon's whereabouts suddenly made sense; were proof that somewhere out there, she lived, shielded by her Senshi. He didn't know _why_ she was keeping away... Whether it was injury or choice... But she was still a part of this, somehow, and that gave him hope. Hope enough to chase away the heaviness that had settled in his gut at having spurned the other Senshi.

It might not have been the smartest idea to burn that bridge. He just prayed that one day he would have the chance to explain himself.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: KAY SO I LIED. Not Mamo-only POV. As with all stories this chapter just started going in another direction than I had initially planned. Naru wasn't originally involved... but then I decided I liked Mamoru using her to relay a message better than my first plan! I hope you guys liked it! I drew somewhat from episode 43 for the location of the meet-up. My homage for one of my favorite episodes :)

Speaking of favorites! THANK YOU **Ruk, Princesakarlita411, karseneau1, NikkiBC, JBubbles, Rufael, Daire123,** and **lolopptt** for reaching out last chapter, y'all keep me motivated! So proud I managed to get this chapter out so quickly, and that's very much due to your feedback! Nothing would warm my heart more on this snowy snowy day than receiving a review letting me know what you thought this time around too ;)

Next chapter is Usagi's birthday! And it's a DOOZY! I might have also drawn from another season one episode... Any guesses which?

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	16. The Carnival, Pt 1

_Her head was bent but she still felt the feather-light brush of his fingers as he tucked an errant strand of hair back behind her ear._

 _"Don't fret, my love."_

 _"I can hardly help it. They don't want me to see you anymore. They're threatening to tell Mother! Like you're some kind of dangerous deviant out for my heart **and** my kingdom."_

 _"Well now... have you ever considered the fact that maybe I **am** some kind of dangerous deviant?" She knew he was only teasing her, trying to make her forget her worries, but something about the coy words mixed with his warm breath tickling her ear made the feisty retort die on her lips. Instead she shivered most deliciously. The sensation continued..._

...morphing into a sandpaper tongue, not quite so pleasant, but still soothing. Familiar. Usagi blearily blinked her eyes open.

"Luna?"

"You fell asleep. The girls are back now," the small black cat still nuzzled within Usagi's arms said quietly into her ear. The girl sat up, stretching as she went, acutely aware of other presences gathered around her. In other circumstances that would have been something to marvel at; her progress such that she was even beginning to sense nearby body heat. But it was not the time. She sighed, glumly drawing her knees up under her chin - their silence speaking volumes.

"Something tells me it didn't go well... did it?"

Ami was the first to answer, and it was also with a sigh. "No."

Usagi closed her eyes, as if that would ward off the dread that was circling her at all sides. The very air felt charged with it. She knew... whatever happened, it hadn't been good. "And?" she whispered.

With obvious reluctance, they filled her in on the night's happenings.

Usagi didn't even bother to hide her extreme frustration.

"YOU ATTACKED HIM!?"

"Usagi, he attacked us-"

"BECAUSE _YOU_ ATTACKED _HIM_!"

"I think you're missing what's actually important here!" Rei inserted angrily. "Tuxedo Kamen just told us - _point blank_ \- that he's our enemy. Do you understand that? We can't dance around it any longer just because he's 'handsome' and you get weak in the knees at his bad poetry! I don't think he ever intended to give us the Crystals... He wanted _you_ , for reasons I shudder to even consider. It's a damn good thing we kept you far away from there!"

"We only mean to keep you safe," Ami gently reminded the seething blonde, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"From here on out, we have to treat Kamen as a threat," Makoto said darkly. Murmurs of assent rose up from Ami, Rei and even Luna, but Usagi couldn't bear to agree. She just hung her head miserably, still refusing to acknowledge that the man who'd saved her life so many times on the battlefield was now proclaiming himself their - _her_ \- enemy. Maybe she was being stupid... clinging so desperately to this _blind faith_. The connotation made the girl want to snort. But her heart was certain in its belief and she trusted her heart. No matter what anyone else said. Tuxedo Kamen had to have his reasons for needing those Crystals, and she still wondered if he might not have revealed them to her would she have been the one to show, and not Sailor Mars. The priestess did have a rather prickly personality after all. The kind that just _invited_ confrontation.

"Let's talk no more on this," Ami announced briskly. "Mako-chan, didn't you make the almost birthday girl a cake?"

"That's right! A pre-birthday cake!" Makoto laughed, catching on to Ami's subtle nudge to move on from Tuxedo Kamen. Usagi was fully aware of what they were doing, and she plastered on a strained smile...

But even their attempts to cheer her up did little to actually bolster her mood. Not even their promises the following morning - her birthday eve - to spend some special time with her on the big day soon as they finished school and Usagi her lesson with Mamoru. When she came home, she immediately went for her dresser - not relaxing until she had the star locket in hand and its hauntingly nostalgic melody filled the room.

Her proof... unexplainable, but rock solid proof... that there had to be more to Tuxedo Kamen than met the eye.

Why else would he have been carrying around such a strange and beautiful object?

She wished she could know its story. It seemed important. Maybe he would've given them the Crystals for its return? Could that have been why he wanted to meet her?

She supposed she might never know, now.

* * *

Despite the tumultuous weekend, Mamoru was in fantastic spirits come Monday on June the 30th. As he marched up the front walk toward the Tsukino house, he reached his hand into his breast pocket on the casual white button-up he wore. When his fingers brushed the two tickets, he smiled. Excitement thrummed inside him. He couldn't _wait_ to tell the birthday girl what they were doing today!

He hopped onto the stoop, about to knock, but someone beat him to it. The door opened, and Mamoru just about lost his jaw to the floor in shock when he saw her.

"H-Happy birthday, Usagi-san!"

The newly fifteen-year-old smiled bashfully, eyes on her feet. She looked... _stunning_. Her orange high-waisted short-shorts perfectly complemented the tight black tank that criss-crossed seductively across the open chest, just the merest tease of cleavage peeking through. Mamoru had never seen her dress like that before. It did funny things to his stomach, and he was immensely grateful neither Ikuko nor Kenji were here to play witness to his fish out of water act. It would've been embarassing, had he any brain cells left to process their disapproval.

"Thanks! I heard you coming up the steps. You're a little early!"

"Um..." he was still staring, hypnotized, at the unexpectedly sexy ensemble - just now noticing the added effect of combat boots on long, long legs.

God. _Damn_.

"Are you alright?" Usagi frowned, cocking her head in askance.

"Yeah... I just, uh..." Mamoru fumbled frantically for something to say, something that wouldn't bring Kenji lunging out into the foyer with a loaded shotgun. His eyes alighted upon a glint of gold on Usagi's neck. "The locket. You're wearing it again."

Usagi brought her hand up to graze the chain, as if remembering something important. Almost immediately, her brilliant cerulean eyes shadowed, like a stray storm cloud had drifted across their fathomless skies. "Oh... yes. It's... it helps me feel better, when I'm wearing it. I didn't have the greatest weekend."

Mamoru instantly sobered. He felt a strange pang at the revelation that it was _his_ locket that brought Usagi peace when she was feeling down. How on earth was he supposed to get it back now? It made him feel torn in the worst way.

But today wasn't a day for angst. No, he wanted it to be special. She'd worked so hard, come so far... The locket could wait. He shook all trace of maudlin musings and went again for his pocket, donning a vivacious smile.

"You know... I didn't really either. Maybe this will make it better?"

He slipped the tickets into Usagi's hands and she rubbed the raised writing with curious fingers. He waited for what he had been teaching her to manifest itself, and it didn't take long for her brain to catch up with her appendages. He beamed even wider when the lively spark returned to her eyes.

"The carnival! You got us tickets to see the carnival that's in town?"

"You bet! I figured we deserved a break... and what better day than in celebration of your birthday?"

"Mamoru-san, that's so nice of you!" Usagi exploded, fairly bouncing on the balls of her feet. He knew she still hadn't had a chance to go out much, even with the freedom gained from having her cane, and it warmed his heart to see her joy at the prospect. It would be good for her to be around a large crowd too, in an environment that was hopefully less frightening than the middle of an oft-traveled intersection.

"So you want to go with me?"

"Would I _ever_!"

* * *

It was amazing the difference in her mood; even more amazing that it was Mamoru who had managed to break her out of her funk.

Usagi had started her fifteenth birthday less than eager to face the day. Between Tuxedo Kamen officially declaring himself the Senshi's enemy, and the fact that she didn't think she'd be able to truly make the most of her birthday being blind, Usagi had laid abed for far longer than was necessary that morning, mostly just moping and feeling bad for herself. When she did finally deign to rise, and dress herself, something had driven her towards the edgy. She didn't know why... it wasn't exactly like her to go outside the cute pastels and whimsical patterns. But today she just felt _older_. Broodier. It had earned her a few clucks from her mother and some barely intelligible sputtering from her father - something along the lines of "You are going out in _that_!?" - but Usagi stood her ground. She was not a child anymore. She was _fifteen_. She could dress however she wanted to dress!

She'd also decided to wear the star locket. There was the obvious reason in that it, strangely, calmed her anxieties like little else. Security blankets had nothing on this necklace, she wanted to chuckle. But then... it also felt a bit like she was making a statement. Her small way of showing Tuxedo Kamen support, even if he would never know that.

It _definitely_ _was_ _not_ because Mamoru had once said it looked pretty on her or anything else of the ilk!

They arrived at the local carnival's gates after an amiable car ride over and Usagi was immediately assaulted by umpteen sounds and smells. It made her briefly dizzy in the best way. Children whooping, amusement rides whirring, shopkeepers hollering enticements, foods frying... _so_ many foods. In one breath Usagi tasted everything from freshly spun cotton candy to mouthwatering yakitori sizzling on the grill.

"Okay?" Mamoru murmured, solicitously placing one hand on the small of her back.

"Wonderful," Usagi said, and she meant it. Anywhere else and this might have been overwhelming. But she _loved_ carnivals and it was exciting to discover she could still experience them blind. Perhaps with more gratitude and attention to detail than she ever had before.

Mamoru kept a careful hand on her as he began to lead them through the aisles. They had decided to forgo the cane today, because there was too much activity; too many people running around and Usagi didn't want to accidentally trip anyone. He began describing to her the different booths they were passing, with an open invitation to pick any she wanted. His treat.

Of course the first few she chose ended up being food stalls. But after her stomach was sated at last, Usagi gazed up at him with a nervous anticipation painted across her face.

"Did you happen to see goldfish scooping anywhere? I have always loved that game."

"You know, I think there's one just up ahead!"

Usagi smiled brightly. He got her situated with her bowl and poi as she knelt next to the kiddie pool. But just as the teen was about to reach in, she froze.

"I- I'm not sure how to do this without my sight," Usagi swallowed, suddenly feeling very inadequate beside all these other people laughing, diving in, claiming their squiggling little prizes in the paper of their scooper. All with ease they didn't even realize. How could she have been so daft as to think she could play this game anymore? She couldn't even see the frigging fish!

Mamoru seemed to sense that this was an unexpectedly big moment for her. That she was dancing upon the precipice of a cliff dangerously resembling self-worth. She felt him crouch down close to her.

"Hey. You can! Of course you can! What have you been learning?"

"How to rely on my other senses?" Usagi answered hesitantly.

"That's right. So now we're going to tap into those."

And all of a sudden, Mamoru shifted, coming up behind Usagi. She felt a ripple of electricity race through her body as he reached around both sides of her, taking one of her hands in either of his, until he was in position to guide her bowl and poi. Usagi could hardly breath as she felt every inch of her back pressed up against every inch of his torso. A hyper-awareness that very nearly distracted her from the fact that they were about to play Kingyo-sukui.

This was weird... _Nice_ weird.

"Listen... just listen," Mamoru whispered against her ear. Usagi resisted a shiver... strangely struck by a bolt of deja vu. Hadn't she had a dream like this recently? "Hear them splashing around? The slight hum of currents as they swim beneath your hand. Wait until it reaches a peak... then... _attack_!"

Usagi exclaimed in peals of laughter as Mamoru whipped her poi down and within seconds, there was a slimy goldfish wriggling inside her bowl.

"Wow! You're good at this!" she praised the man helping her. "I used to struggle to get even one!"

Mamoru shrugged and Usagi felt the motion against her back. "What can I say? This is my favorite game too."

She grinned - a warm rush creeping up inside her chest at the news of their shared love for Kingyo-sukui. Who'd have thought?

They were about to go again when a familiar voice interrupted their concentration.

"Usagi-chan!"

Usagi whipped her head up and nearly bonked Mamoru in the face. For his part, Mamoru jumped back from her like he had been scalded and Usagi tried not to let her surprise show; surprise that she oddly enough would rather he have stayed. What was _that_ about? Mamoru leapt up onto his feet and like the gentleman Usagi was learning he was, also assisted Usagi up as well. She dropped the bowl and poi back into the pool, forgotten.

"Naru-chan! Hi!"

The girls exchanged a hug and Usagi introduced Mamoru. Of course, Naru had spent many months hearing about the 'infamous jerk' and Usagi cringed when her friend spoke to him in a rather stilted voice, the kind like she was trying her hardest to be polite. Sometime they'd have to sit down and discuss how much Mamoru had changed since starting these lessons with her. She supposed she hadn't done a great job of keeping Naru apprised lately. But what was more weird was Mamoru sounded just as awkward about the situation as the red-head. For the briefest moment she wondered if he knew her outside this interaction, then shook it off as crazy. Naru would have told her if she met Mamoru before.

"Umino's here too! Oh god - here he comes..."

"Um... what's he wearing?" Usagi heard Mamoru ask, and it sounded like he was struggling mightily with his composure. She cocked a brow.

Naru sighed, leaning into Usagi's ear, her voice going down a few notches as her nerdy boyfriend approached. "I accidentally let slip what happened. He's been _insufferable_ since. Won't let me out of his sight. I found him staking out on my doorstep last night! And what's worse is he found a tuxedo and top hat and I _think_ he's trying to either emulate or scare off Tuxedo Kamen, not sure which. Pretty sure it's really just jealousy, though!"

Usagi snorted loudly, but that was _nothing_ on Mamoru's reaction. As soon as the gawky genius bounced into their midst and proudly announced himself as "Tuxedo Umino, at your service!", Mamoru devolved into hysterical, can't-breathe, tears-running-down-his-cheeks laughter that was not resolved until loooong after Naru and Umino made their departure.

Usagi just stared at him like he had three heads. But deep down...

She reveled at getting to experience this not often displayed side of the man.

* * *

They played a couple more rounds at the goldfish pool, Usagi getting better with each go at it. By the end she had accumulated quite a collection of fish, even a few of the trickier medaka, and without even tearing the paper poi scooper once. Mamoru was ecstatic. It showed how skilled she was becoming with using her ears as her eyes. The stall keeper had been watching and took a liking to her exuberant energy; he let them save a couple fish in a baggie to take home as prize. But Usagi surprised him by finding a child who was crying because he spent all his money and hadn't caught a single fish; she patted the weeping boy consolingly on the head and gently eased the bag into his hands.

It was perhaps the kindest moment Mamoru had ever witnessed, and it was then that he realized, with all the force of a commuter train slamming into him, that despite their fraught beginnings, despite her handicap and his status as her teacher, despite the pull between his civilian life and secret superhero life, despite the dream princess and Sailor Moon and _aaaall_ the reasons he shouldn't...

He was falling in love with Tsukino Usagi.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: OHHHHH MANNNNN. Did I really just...!? Hell yeah I did! And if that doesn't whet your appetite, next chapter is even bigger! Usagi and Mamoru find themselves in a rather dangerous situation... And the roller coaster keeps going up up up ;)

I have always been a fan of when Mamoru is the first to truly realize his feelings for Usagi. Our girl is a little slower on the uptake, she is not quite so introspective as Mamoru and for her everything is "in the moment". I think it'll be interesting seeing Mamoru coming from a place of already knowing, but afraid to act for fear the feelings are not reciprocated in quite the same way, while Usagi is still reeling with "Why do I like this?? I shouldn't like this... should I?" LOL ;)

I actually drew from TWO episodes here! The obvious is episode 32. You'll see more on that later ;) The slightly less obvious is episode 103. Cookies for those who noticed the similarities!

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOYED! Part 2 will be out in the next week or two, hopefully! Thanks very much to **tryntee13, moon romance, karseneau1, Ruk, Daire123, Moon Bunny, lisasailor, MyIndy13, James Birdsong, lolopptt, Guest, NikkiBC,** and **Asj Johnson** for all your LOVELY reviews! Made my day!

Cheers,

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	17. The Carnival, Pt 2

The monumental realization left Mamoru reeling within a very tangled mess of emotions. He was as elated as he was confused; it made so much sense and yet none at all. On one hand it felt wonderful, relieving even, to finally admit to himself what about Usagi had been causing such an intense reaction in him, especially lately. He felt supremely protective towards her; wanted so much to be the one to make her smile. She even commented blithely at one point that this had to be the longest he'd ever gone without teasing her; what he didn't tell her was that he was coming to prefer finding out all there was to know about the ever-surprising Tsukino Usagi instead.

But there was still Sailor Moon, and he couldn't lie, that blonde had intrigued him as well. It was not perhaps as fully formed a crush as the one he had on Usagi, but she was fierce and gutsy even through her sometimes goofy naivety, and he liked that. Something about her called to him like a siren song... literally. When she was in danger, it was like he knew exactly where to find her. But it had been a very long time since he'd felt that irresistible pull...

Speaking of pulls - Usagi's clutch on his hand was most insistent as she dragged him toward the midway, where all the attractions - and subsequently, loudest noises - were. Her eyes were like twin shards of light, glowing sapphires, such was her excitement. He soaked in every second.

"Woah there, Speed Racer - and just where are we off to?"

"The Ferris Wheel of course! I hope you're not afraid of heights!"

"If I was I wouldn't live at the tip-top of my apartment building," Mamoru joked. In reality, he wasn't a _huge_ fan of amusement rides. But today, for her? He'd do just about anything she wanted.

Usagi slowed down soon as they hit the center of the action. She looked up at him with a pleading and bashful little smile. "Well... this is as far as I can take us. Now I'll follow your lead!"

He chuckled, now dragging her by the hand until they were in the Ferris Wheel line. Usagi bounced on the balls of her feet the entire wait.

"It sucks missing out on the cool city view. But I can't wait to feel the air whooshing as we drop. I love that sensation."

Mamoru slipped a few yen at the controller to take them round a couple extra times. The cabins were front-facing two-seaters, and Mamoru had to admit... he was immensely grateful for that fact. The traditional gondolas wouldn't have allowed him to feel every inch of Usagi's side squished up against his own. He helped buckle her in, which was difficult... she was still so excited she could barely keep still. The ride attendant made his final walk-through.

"Ready, miss?"

"Ready!" Usagi squealed, complete with a fist pump.

The Ferris Wheel gave a lurch. Usagi shouted with pure joy, throwing up her hands. Mamoru had never been very vocal on amusement rides; if anything he clammed up. But as soon as the wheel started turning and the wind blowing through their hair, he relaxed... enjoying the sight of Usagi, appendages flailing, odango sailing heavenward at the first drop. She shrieked with sheer delight as they made their downward descent... grabbing Mamoru's hand as the contraption executed its circuit and began again. His heart somersaulted.

"Don't clench the bar - hands in the air and let the moment take you!"

She pried him from his white-knuckled grip and illustrated once more the proper positioning. The lift continued up. "See... not scary!"

She was right - it was more fun this way.

The Ferris Wheel dipped and he felt it - he felt the moment take him. The whoosh, the free fall, the ruddy cheeks and the whoop in his throat. He glanced at Usagi and somehow she knew, or maybe she was looking first, he didn't know, but their gazes connected and though she could not _see_ him... she did. Eyes were not necessary. It was as if their hearts were seeing each other instead. He just wondered what hers was saying about him.

oOo

They went on the Ferris Wheel at least three more times before Usagi had her fill, and then she was itching for the next thrill.

"Well... there's a Redman show happening over by the grandstand in just a few minutes," Mamoru said, scoping out the area, but Usagi's scoff was enough to stop him there.

"Blegh! Sounds boring. That's the kind of thing Umino will take Naru-chan to," she giggled. "Poor girl. What else is there?"

"Let's see... we've got a tilt-a-whirl, the carousel, looks like a fun house over there-"

"Yes!" Usagi exclaimed. "That! I want to do that!"

 _Of all the options..._ In line, Mamoru bent down to her just before it was their turn to enter. "Are you _sure_? Sometimes these things are a little creepy..."

"Mamoru-san. It's a _fun_ house. Not a haunted house!"

"Yeah but still... those mirrors are _weird_."

Usagi snickered. "Well lucky for me, I don't have to see myself as an awkward giant."

"Touché!"

They were signaled in as a pair and Mamoru had to resist the urge to once again ask if she wanted to turn back. He just felt oddly disconcerted by these places. It reminded him of childhood nightmares. But Usagi was just too gosh darn happy and he decided to indulge her, guiding her through room by creepy room. Although he hated the maze-like section of umpteen distorted mirrors, the worst was probably the hall of textured walls. It felt like petting matted animal fur and snake scales all at once. Of course Usagi loved it.

There were two exits when they at last completed their hellish adventure. One was just a narrow door Mamoru had to crouch to get through. The other was a rotating tube that Mamoru was not surprised Usagi chose. She giggled and rolled and tumbled the whole crawl through. Okay... _that_ had been mildly entertaining. Mamoru stifled a grin. Maybe the fun house wasn't so bad after all.

Back out front, Usagi tugged on his sleeve to go again. He groaned, but she immediately went into mollification mode. "It's okay, it's okay! I know you don't really like it," Usagi said graciously. "Just wait for me here?"

"You're going alone?" Mamoru's eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets at her uncharacteristic bravery. She shrugged like it was no big deal but even that failed to diffuse her true enthusiasm.

"If I did it once I can again, right? It wasn't too hard to follow the way... and I liked all the funny textures on my hand!"

He sighed, figuring it had to be a little different for her, what with relying so much on touch to be her gateway to the world. "I mean I guess if you want to go stroking snake skin again, be my guest!"

He took up vigil outside the fun house, crossing his arms. It was hard letting her go her own way, but he supposed, that's what this all was about, right? Teaching her how to live independently without her eye sight. Mamoru ignored the unsettled stirrings in the back of his mind that queried, where would that leave him, when she no longer required his services in her life? Would there still be a place for them as friends... or more?

He dearly hoped more.

Strangely... that prickly feeling in the back of his mind was increasing - becoming something else entirely. Mamoru shifted restlessly. He glanced uneasily to and fro. Something... didn't feel right. A dark foreboding, if he were to try to pinpoint it.

It was just as Mamoru had this thought that all the lights in the surrounding area began to sputter and flicker, before the electricity died entirely. A chorus of screams rent the air as everywhere, rides halted in their tracks.

Suddenly, he knew - without at all knowing how - that Usagi was in danger. It wasn't exactly like how he felt when Sailor Moon found herself in peril... she almost possessed her own homing beacon, such was the power of her magical signature... but it was eerily similar. Fierce in its own right. He could only attribute this to his growing connection with the blind girl.

Mamoru didn't hesitate - he bolted for the fun house just as the carnival erupted into madness around him.

* * *

The screams were Usagi's first indication that something was amiss. She froze with her hand on the glass, having reached the mirror room. All delight that had been urging her forward now seeped from her like a candle doused. She barely had time to wonder upon what was wrong when a bunch of things happened very quickly.

The floor beneath her began to vibrate like a raging stampede of wildebeests had overtaken the fun house. In actuality, it was all the occupants devolving into a complete state of panic, their terror at not being able to see in the dark spurring them into their most primal instincts which in an unfamiliar environment was - escape. At all costs.

Bodies began to blindly bumble their way through the hallways, and Usagi was helpless to react as people began to run past and into her, buffeting the teen this way and that. She cried out, struggling to keep her balance, but her plight was unnoticed under the pall of sheer darkness that had fallen and the crazed frenzy to evacuate. She tried to move off the wall and join the crowd, knowing she needed to get to safety, but a particularly strong arm caught her by surprise and knocked the wind out of her. She fell, twisting as she went, feeling the sudden sharp snap in her ankle at the unnatural motion.

Her fingers scrabbled for purchase but the floor was some sort of epoxy, smooth, giving none. And still, the bodies barreled by. She yelped when a foot trampled across her outstretched hand. She felt defenseless, weak, and it was the worst feeling in the world. In pain and unsure what to do anymore, Usagi curled in on herself, endeavoring to protect what she could from further harm. She pulled her knees to her chest and tucked her head into the cocoon of her arms. Although she was not swimming, she had the distinct impression that she was drowning...

 _Help... Please... Someone help!_

A hand was suddenly on her back. Not rough, like those of before, but gentle. Purposeful.

She opened eyes she hadn't even realized she'd been clenching shut and he was there, her golden savior. Not just there but _protecting_ her, shielding her with his body, shoving at those who got too close with a fiercely growled " _Watch it! Get back!_ " that struck a chord somewhere deep inside her; reminded Usagi of... someone. But she was too dazed to pursue that train of thought, and even more dazed when he turned his voice on her, more kind and solicitous than she'd ever heard it from him.

"Usagi-san! Are you alright?"

The mob seemed to be thinning and screams dying off, but Usagi's ears still rang in the aftermath as helped her to sit up. She gasped as her leg shifted.

"My- my ankle! I think it's sprained. What's happening!?"

"Do you trust me?"

"W-what?"

" _Do you trust me?_ "

The intensity of the question, so out of the blue, had thrown her off, but she gathered her wits enough to answer that which she knew had grown to be true:

"Yes."

She remembered that day in the car as they drove to the garden; how outrageous it had seemed then that they should declare a truce, let alone build something so sacred as trust between them.

And now, here they were. She _did_ trust him... as much as a member of her family; of her Senshi team. Amazing how something so profound had snuck up on her so quietly.

"Good. Then hold on tight." Startled, Usagi felt Mamoru's hands carefully reaching beneath her, and she was lifted up into his arms like precious cargo, held fast to his strong chest. Light jostling let her know he had begun to walk, but mercifully, he appeared mindful of her injured ankle as it did not bump into anything, not once. "The power went out. I'm not sure _what_ happened but it's total chaos out there. We need to get to a safe spot."

The fact that he managed to track her down in the pitch black at great risk to himself was not lost on Usagi. They stumbled around for a few minutes until Mamoru was able to find the exit, the whole time Usagi clinging desperately to his neck. When they emerged outside it was obvious Mamoru had not exaggerated; there were even more people out here yelling and running for cover; from what, it was still not clear. But off in the not-too-far distance, there were great echoing rumbles seeming to shake the very earth and the acrid, pervasive smell of smoke. Mamoru sensed that she was afraid; her slight trembles gave her away.

"It's alright... I've got you... We're going to be okay."

There was a warm feeling that pulsed within her then, or maybe between them, as he whispered these reassurances into her ear and she hid her face against his chest. It was the same as when they shook hands and she had felt a strange flash of warmth and gold... she had almost forgotten about that, but now it was happening again, more powerful than the first time. His aura if possible gleaming even brighter to her. What _was_ it? This feeling nearly impossible to describe that surrounded her and _filled_ her and imbued her... It was like Mamoru's very essence but something so much more... and it was... calling to her...

"Usagi-san! Us- _Odango_! Talk to me!"

"H-huh?" Like ripped from a dream, Usagi shook herself and came to to Mamoru shouting at her, an edge of fear lacing his voice, and she blinked in confusion. She didn't appear to be in his arms anymore and was no longer feeling the goldeny warmth he had been exuding before, but still... something about him seemed different. The aura was definitely more pronounced. It loomed larger in her vision as Mamoru inched closer, placing a concerned hand on her cheek. She could feel spiky blades of grass and cold dirt beneath her hand, and the sounds of panic - while still present - seemed a little more muted here.

"You zoned out on me there... Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I..." Usagi trailed off as she suddenly remembered something important. Something incredibly frightening to consider. "My friends! Naru-chan and Umino! They're here! They could be in danger! Oh god... oh no..."

"Usagi-san, calm down. They probably found shelter-"

"Please! Please, Mamoru-san!" Usagi gasped, reaching for him, squeezing at his shirt; his shoulders. The _drowning_ feeling from before was starting to creep up on her... "You have to find them! I can't... they can't protect themselves..." She choked on the last like it was a sob, and maybe it would have been, if she could only breathe properly. The words _I can't protect them_ playing over and over in her mind like some macabre chorus of a song she couldn't remember anymore. Mamoru sensed that she was bordering on hyperventilation and did the only thing he could; he promised to help.

"Okay... okay... just breathe, Usagi-san. Breathe! I'll go check, see if I can find them. You _stay here_ , alright? Stay hidden. I'll be right back."

Usagi nodded as Mamoru raced back out into the fray to see what he could do; she meanwhile began to rock herself in a mostly futile attempt to self-sooth. So much worry gnawed upon her insides, like a beast uncaged. If anything happened to Naru or Umino she didn't know how she would bear it...

oOo

Mamoru did come back, but he was empty-handed. He rushed to assure Usagi that it was not for lack of success - he discovered the cause of all the commotion was a rogue youma at the Redman show, and that while Umino and Naru had indeed been in the thick of it, the Sailor Senshi arrived and ushered Usagi's friends to safety. Usagi released a long sigh of relief, muscles finally beginning to un-tense.

"They got the monster?"

"It's gone," Mamoru affirmed, but as an aside he murmured, "Still no Sailor Moon though."

Usagi swallowed loudly. She hurriedly stuck an arm out to him. "Help me up? I wanna see how bad this ankle really is."

Mamoru hurried to her side, grasping her beneath the elbow. "You know... it's no problem at all if you just want me to carry you to the car. No sense injuring it further-"

"Oh." Usagi furrowed her brow, flexing her foot this way and that.

"What?"

"Well... it twinges a bit. But nothing like before. Huh. It must have just seemed worse in the moment, I guess?" She could have _sworn_ she sprained it back in the fun house. The initial pain had been agonizing.

"It definitely could have," Mamoru said, with a strange note in his voice. Usagi gazed up at him curiously but he was already switching topics.

"Power looks like it's back on but the park is pretty well cleared out now. Guess no one really feels in the mood anymore after that scare," he commented mildly. "I have to say I kind of agree... I'm so sorry your birthday was ruined, Usagi-san."

"Are you kidding me!? That was one of the best birthdays ever!" Usagi insisted, shaking at him with disbelief.

Mamoru's voice was rippling with either shock or humor when he replied - it was hard to discern. "Truly?"

"Truly! I had a blast! Well... minus the whole nearly-getting-trampled part," Usagi tacked on, cringing at the memory. But she sensed Mamoru needed the reassurance that she was really okay so she plastered on a cheerful smile. "Thank you. For getting us those tickets. It really was very thoughtful of you regardless of what happened and I had so much fun spending time with you today, Mamoru-san."

The man appeared lost for words after that, because it took him a while to respond.

"I... You're welcome. I had- so much fun with you, too."

He squeezed her elbow, and it was as if deeper emotions than what he was letting on were contained within that small gesture. They stood there for a moment, not moving. Then -

"So erm... where _did_ you stow me away, anyway?"

"Oh... uh. I think it's some sort of food storage area? I snuck behind the vendors."

"Wait... are you telling me... I've been sitting next to _free food_ all this time!?"

Mamoru couldn't help it - he laughed. And after the roller coaster ride today had been... it felt good.

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: That chapter was one I've been dying to write for a while. It's SO nice to finally put it out there and not just have it living solely in my head anymore ;) I continued to draw from episode 32, but I also - weirdly enough - was influenced by Stranger Things season 3. Funny where we find our inspiration!

Next chapter, Usagi makes a few shocking discoveries... ;)

BIG LOVE TO **Ruk, Moon Bunny, moon romance, Princesakarlita411, Tina Century, Rufael, lolopptt, CassieRaven, MyIndy13, Daire123,** and **JBubbles** for motivating me like no one and nothing else with your AWESOME reviews!

MWAH!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


	18. The Transformation

Mamoru dropped off Usagi, but not before she had to reassure him a couple hundred more times that yes, she was alright and no, she didn't hate him for a fun day that devolved into mayhem well beyond his control. Even when it was significantly past the time he normally would have left, he lingered - as if simple words weren't enough, and he had to _see_ her to believe them. His hand found hers and squeezed it, and softly, she smiled.

It was hard to put her finger on, but Usagi realized... something had changed between them. These lessons had already been shepherding them towards a new understanding of each other, like earth shifting beneath their feet. It had happened so slowly, so gradually, Usagi barely noticed it herself. But the carnival had been something more. The carnival was like the cliff that appeared out of nowhere; the sudden drop that had without warning, deposited her into completely uncharted territory. She wasn't sure how to handle a Mamoru who visibly cared about her, worried for her, even risked himself to rescue her from a fun house that scared the crap out of him. It was so different from the Mamoru she once traded insults with, whose cold sneer would bear down on her from above. How strange that the chest she used to angrily ram into was now a source of comfort and strength for her. She continued to wrestle with this dichotomy as Mamoru drove away, feeling happy and confused and frustrated and excited. She would have continued this way for much the rest of the night, but then she remembered she still had plans with the girls to celebrate the last few hours of her birthday.

 _The girls!_

With all that had gone on, she nearly forgot that while she and Mamoru were making their escape from the fun house and staking out behind the food stalls, her friends were fighting a monster, using her wand to bring it down. They were likely at Makoto's once more, recovering from a nasty bout of magical exhaustion. Immediately, Usagi felt a wave of guilt and concern wash over her. Here she was, marveling over the changes in Mamoru, and her Senshi were laid up in bed because she hadn't been there to deal the final blow.

She hobbled over to her cane, ignoring the unpleasant twinges still plaguing her ankle every so often, and grabbed it up.

"Hi and bye!" she called to the house at large.

"Where are you going?" Shingo's voice called back, vaguely annoyed. Usagi could just discern sounds of machine gunfire coming from the living room television; no doubt her brother was skiving homework for video games, which meant Papa was still at work and her mother must have stepped out for a bit.

"To see my friends! It's my birthday you dolt, don't you remember!"

"I remember!"

"Well you never wished me a happy birthday!"

"Happy birthday!"

"Thanks! Jerk."

"Ditz."

"Tell Mama where I went."

"Fine. Whatever."

Usagi allowed herself a tiny smirk as she slipped back out the door. Shingo had finally begun acting like himself again, no longer tiptoeing around his sister like the slightest misphrase would send her spiraling back into depression. As irritating as he could be... she preferred him this way. Because if he was still a little brat, then all was right with the world.

She navigated the streets nervously, every sense on high alert, but remarkably - blessedly - she didn't encounter a single issue. Everyone was incredibly kind; she even had one older woman offer to accompany her across the street. Usagi had thanked her profusely, but the woman waved it off - she was just trying to do the right thing. It was heartening to find so many being thoughtful of her handicap, and it left Usagi feeling immeasurably grateful for the innate goodness in people.

Her affable mood sobered some as she ascended the stairs to Makoto's flat, anxious about what state she was going to find her friends in.

No one answered when she knocked. Apprehension mounting, Usagi tried the handle, only to discover it was unlocked. She quietly eased it open and peeked her head in.

"Hello...?"

"Usagi-chan!" Luna's voice was pure surprise. "What - how did you - weren't you supposed to be having your lesson with Mamoru-san?"

Usagi looked down and gasped.

Where her feline guardian stood at her feet, was a dull whitish-yellow glimmer. And as her eyes swept to encompass the rest of the room, she soon saw more of those same strange auras, in shades of green, red, and blue. They were like Mamoru's - not quite as powerful as his now was, but a speck of _honest to goodness color_ nonetheless, seeping through the otherwise pitch blackness of her absent vision. She realized too late through the pounding reverberation of her heart in her ears that Luna was calling to her, and in greater panic when Usagi failed to respond.

"I- I didn't go to Mamoru-san's. He took me to the carnival instead. For my birthday."

This apparently didn't mollify Luna any. "You were at the carnival!? Usagi-chan, but the youma... it was so dangerous... Were you hurt at all!?"

Still feeling in a bit of a daze, Usagi gestured vaguely downward. "Ankle twisted but not bad. I can still walk. Don't worry about it. How are _they_?"

The lack of greeting told her Rei, Ami, and Makoto were dead to the world right now, from the positioning of their auras laid out across the studio apartment. It looked like a makeshift sleepover, only entirely unplanned and like they probably just dropped wherever they stopped. She certainly hoped everyone had a comfortable surface to rest upon.

"Weak, magically drained. Sleeping it off. This rogue youma was a fearsome adversary. We're just lucky it wasn't spitting acid like the last difficult one."

"It seems to be worse for them the stronger the youma is," Usagi swallowed thickly, ambling her way into the living room and sinking down onto the floor beside the couch. She reached out to the smoky haze of green, fingers brushing something silky. She patted down Makoto's limp ponytail. There was a stirring beneath her fingertips, but nothing more. "They can't go on like this."

"They have to," Luna answered, and there was at once resolution and defeat clinging to the dregs of her voice. "The alternative is even worse."

Usagi grimaced, hanging her head. There was a tumult of emotions raging inside her right now, but the primary was a sense of hopelessness. She felt a nudge of her other hand, the one draped uselessly across her folded legs.

"Hey. Want to know what happened to _me_ today, before the whole carnival fiasco?"

"What?" Usagi sniffed.

"Got chased by a horde of alley cats over a shrimp bone, only to have an _extremely_ rotund domestic cat named _Rhett Butler_ save my life... and I'm pretty sure he's got a crush on me now, too!"

"Oh Luna!" Usagi sniggered behind her hand. "That's just... _Rhett Butler_? What kind of a name is that?"

"Apparently the kind a child gives her pet," Luna snorted. "His owner was a little girl. She was quite upset that he returned home so filthy."

"It's like your own Tuxedo Kamen-sama, the cat version!" Usagi guffawed, thoroughly enjoying the image her mind was supplying her, as well as the break in levity. "Do you liiiiiike him?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Luna snapped, with an air as if she were trying to maintain her dignity. "He was simply at the right place at the right time. I'll probably never see him again."

"Awww. Luna, you heartbreaker."

"My priority is you girls," the feline reminded. "Now don't make me regret telling you that story by teasing me all night about it! I only wanted to cheer you up."

"Thanks, Mrs. Butler," Usagi said with a toothy grin. She startled at the swap she received in return and raised her hands in surrender. "Last one, I promise!"

"Incorrigible," Luna muttered.

Usagi settled back and eyed the whitish-yellow glimmer. She hesitated for a moment. "Luna... there's something weird going on."

She told her about Mamoru's aura getting stronger, and now being able to discern flecks of color for everyone here too. Luna was shocked with amazement.

"Usagi-chan... this is such a good sign! It must mean your Senshi powers are increasing!"

"But _what_ am I seeing? I don't understand. What do the colors mean?"

"Red, green, and blue... I would almost think you are getting a read on the girls' planetary powers, however faintly. Even I possess some measure of magical ability myself... But you say Mamoru-san also exudes his own gold color, more intense than any of ours..." Luna mulled this over for a long time. "Could it be something to do with the fact that you are spending much more time with him than any of the rest of us? Maybe it isn't magical energy, seeing as he wouldn't have any. Maybe it is something else entirely."

Usagi sighed. "And therein lies the mystery."

Luna sighed right back, her little paw patting Usagi's leg. "We'll figure it out. Whatever the reason, this is very, very promising."

Usagi nodded, a smile slipping through as she once more raked her eyes around the room and admired that no longer was her world a fathomless abyss.

However selective, however dimly, she had _color_.

oOo

The girls woke up an hour later, surprised to find Usagi had joined their number. Usagi filled them in on her own adventures at the carnival. They were open-mouthed and speechless by the time Usagi reached the point in the story where Mamoru saved her from being trampled, reacting with gusto, but she could tell they were still exhausted by the way they didn't do more than sit up and converse from across the room.

"I can't believe he found you," Ami marveled, "with the lights off like that? Impressive."

"And perfect timing," Makoto growled, a fiercely protective edge to her voice. "If he'd been any later..."

"You're lucky to have gotten away with only a minor ankle injury," Rei agreed darkly.

Usagi nodded, indeed feeling thankful for Mamoru's quick-thinking and very aware of how much worse it could have been. She was about to switch topics and apprise them of their auras when there was an unexpected interruption.

It was as though the room lost all gravity, because Usagi's heart was suddenly in her throat and she felt chilling degrees colder. She would recognize the beeping of her crescent moon wand anywhere, but never had it sounded so much like a death sentence. Enemy activity nearby...

And these Sailor Senshi hadn't even the energy to pull themselves to their feet yet.

"No," Usagi moaned, the first to break the terrified silence marred only by the wand's insistent call to arms. It was as if that one word shattered the spell. Suddenly the girls were pushing themselves to action, Ami's fingers tap-tapping across her computer, Makoto and Rei grunting with exertion as they dragged their aching bodies out from under the blankets. Usagi grabbed at Makoto.

" _Please_ -"

"Rainbow Crystal holder, eight blocks - narrowing trajectory now," Ami was saying loudly.

"You can't," Usagi choked out, refusing to relinquish her hold on the girl beside her. Makoto was gently disentangling her fingers as she pushed agonizingly slowly off the couch.

"We have no choice," Makoto sighed.

"We have to protect the city, Usagi," Rei said firmly. "There's no one else but us."

Usagi tried to protest but it came out a whimpering noise. She knew they were right. Knew they truly were alone in this, but it didn't staunch her fear any, if anything, it drastically heightened it. _They weren't strong enough!_ She had _known_ this might happen - back to back battles. But she had hoped it wouldn't come to this! From over in Ami's corner, the cerulean blue glimmer and whitish-yellow glimmer were practically converged as Luna leaned over her shoulder.

"I recognize that address!" she gasped. "That's Rhett Butler and his owner! The Crystal holder - it must be the little girl!"

"I'm sorry, who the hell is _Rhett Butler_?" Rei inserted with one part amusement and three parts impatience.

"No time to explain - I'll lead the way!" Luna exclaimed, leaping towards the door already. "Transform, girls!"

Usagi hunched in on herself, fingers digging for dear life into the fibers of the carpet as she heard the catchphrases and felt the tingles of magical energy dancing around the room. She felt such a painful disconnect from them, from _everything_ , until a gloved hand reached down and grasped her shoulder - hard. Unknowingly grounding her again.

"It will be safer for you if you stay here for now," Jupiter's voice intoned, but Usagi was more focused on the frail undertone than on the directive being given to her.

"Mako-chan..."

The hand squeezed once before it disappeared. "We'll be okay."

oOo

They weren't.

Not really.

They made it back another hour later, but barely even had a chance to update Usagi on what happened before succumbing to unconsciousness. It was Luna who took over, sounding as if she had aged a hundred years while explaining about how it wasn't the little girl but the cat, and that this confusion ultimately led to them losing the purple Rainbow Crystal to Zoisite. Usagi listened with only half an ear. Most of her attention was on Rei, Makoto, and Ami; how clammy their hands and foreheads were. She felt as if she were teetering precariously upon a breakdown. It wasn't until Luna barked at her to go home before it got too dark to do so - and not until she was assured numerous times over that her Senshi would be fine, Luna would monitor them, they just needed to sleep (and sleep and sleep and sleep) - that Usagi finally let herself go.

She curled up on her own bed in her own house miles away from where she actually wanted to be and cried, her moans muffled in the raggedy stuffed bunny she clutched so tightly to her chest. Like in the hospital, there were no tears - but her ribs burned and her body shook enough for her to know, they would have come fierce and fast.

What a horrible end to her birthday. Wasn't there something - _anything_ \- she could do to help?

She was _sick_ of this.

Sick of feeling so powerless, sick of having to be rescued and coddled and told what she could and couldn't do. Sick of watching her best friends drain themselves of energy for her; sick of sitting idly by when helpless civilians like her beloved Naru and Umino found themselves in need of aid. Sick of being confined and defined by her blindness.

There wouldn't always be a Mamoru around to pull her from impending danger.

And at this rate there wouldn't always be Sailor Senshi around to cast themselves between the Dark Kingdom and the city.

Usagi's breathing began to even out, but it still caught in the occasional hitch. Slowly, very slowly, she sat up, pushed the bedraggled bangs from her eyes, and shoved the tattered bunny aside. An idea had formed, an uncertain and wavering _what if_ , but it would not let her rest until she at least _tried_. Her unseeing eyes alighted upon her nightstand, where she knew her henshin brooch to be. The brooch she hadn't touched in weeks, undoubtedly collecting dust from disuse as it waited, so patiently, for its owner to be ready to shoulder the mantle again.

Trembling worse than when she had been crying, but for a different reason this time, Usagi set two socked feet to the floor and felt around on her nightstand until her palm brushed the cool, familiar metal. She brought her brooch to her chest; pressed it against her heart.

"I want to help my friends. Please... I want to fight again! I want... _I want to become Sailor Moon again_!"

It's funny... not long ago, she would have given _anything_ to be a normal girl again. A normal girl with ordinary problems.

Now here she was, begging for the exact opposite.

Begging with all her heart, to be _extraordinary_.

She exhaled shakily... raised the brooch... and shouted the words that upon their last brought blindness upon her; now, they imbued her with a thrill of hope.

"Moon Prism Power... _Make Up_!"

The transformation was like a hug from an old friend. She couldn't see the shimmering ribbons or the coruscating rainbow show of lights as they engulfed her body, but she _felt_ them, she felt the change taking hold and the surge of courage that always came along with it. Usagi closed her eyes and soaked it all in, breathed in the beauty that was moon magic melding with her very soul. She knew the moment her metamorphosis into the sailor-suited heroine was complete, and with a pounding heart, opened her eyes.

The girl gasped; swayed. Her legs went wobbly as jelly, and she near on collapsed back onto her bed. Another sob warbled up from deep inside her throat, but this one was not like those of earlier, oh no - it tasted happy, a little bittersweet around the edges maybe, but _happy_ like she hadn't felt in... well, since before the accident. Because she could _see_.

Well.

It wasn't _exactly_ like seeing.

But as Sailor Moon, it appeared she had the ability to make out fuzzy shapes and outlines, gazing around her bedroom with an unfettered awe. Everything was shadowed in a sort of grayscale tint, and the further away an object was the less clear it became, but _god_. It was _so much better than nothing_.

"Why didn't I try this before," Usagi mumbled, shaking her head, acutely aware now in a way she hadn't been before of the tinkling crescent earrings and other ornamentation she wore. Proof of all the lessons she had been taking to hone her senses of touch; hearing. But she knew why she hadn't tried. She hadn't been ready until now, afraid of what she might discover; afraid that she would don the identity of her alter ego, and find it similarly lacking.

She was glad she waited.

She was glad to have gained this greater control over her senses; to have gained the confidence to navigate her life sightless before transforming. Because she _couldn't_ be Sailor Moon 24/7, and if she'd known from the beginning that she had the potential to see again - however indistinctly - she might not have put in the same effort to train herself. She was _stronger_ now. More _aware_.

Usagi let out a jubilant laugh.

This could work. It wouldn't be quite as reliable as her old full-color 20/20 vision. She'd be dead in the water if an attack was leveled at her from a distance. But she struggled with those sorts of unexpected curveballs anyway right? Even before she lost her sight. So... _it could work_.

She could _fight_ again!

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**

* * *

Author's Note: Oy vey. That was a hard one for me for a variety of reasons. I struggled with the magnitude of this chapter; the fact that it was SO transformative (heh) but... didn't necessarily have a lot HAPPENING? If that makes sense? (Never fear... I have some huuuge things planned in the VERY near future!) But the other reason... I take it you guys have all heard of Coronavirus eh? *sad sighs* These are very trying times we find ourselves in, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't affected. I work in medical records and we've been more slammed than ever. It's stressful, and to top it off I can't go see my friends and family like I normally would. My morose mood hasn't been the best inspiration for fanfiction. It was like pulling teeth getting this chapter written, and I really hope that despite my mental exhaustion, you guys still liked it. A kind word would be greatly appreciated :) Seeing as we're all quarantined together!

I was BLOWN AWAY by the awesome feedback I got last chapter! I was SO HAPPY! Thank you **Princesakarlita411, Astraearose-silvermoon, Tina Century, Moonlight Usagi-Chan, Moon Bunny, lisasailor, karseneau1, Ruk, Rufael, Serenity Red Eclipse, Red Lion Amaryllis, Sesshy's Rose, Roxypockets1, tryntee13, Daire123, NikkiBC, ChibiChibi, JBubbles, RogueAlly, phillynz, MyIndy13, TinkStar87, CassieRaven, Oreo596,** and **chimichurri**. I might have read and re-read your reviews more times than is healthy ;) It's exciting to see the chapter through your eyes!

Stay safe and be well, my fellow moonies!

 **AngelMoon Girl**


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